| The Daily Show with Jon Stewart | Mon - Thurs 11p / 10c | |||
| Aurora Shootings & Gun Control | ||||
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| The Daily Show with Jon Stewart | Mon - Thurs 11p / 10c | |||
| Gaywatch - Holdouts Edition | ||||
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Sunday, July 29, 2012
Eat Mor Heterosexual Chikin'
(It was a toss-up...I thought about making the headline "You'll Swim Faster At The Olympics If You Cut Down On The Pot")
Hey, everyone, welcome back to the blog. Before we move on to the Chick-Fil-A story, I want to get back to the Colorado shooting from more than a week ago. I touched on the whole gun issue in last week's blog. Well, I didn't realize it, but the media was discussing it too. Well...I say "discussing it," but...
And now, the Chick-Fil-A issue (including one of the single funniest graphics I have ever seen)...
Also, shockingly, Billy Graham, the OLLLLLLD-School reverend from North Carolina (older school than Reverend Run...of the DMC), supports Chick-Fil-A. I say "shockingly" with cock firmly in cheek. It's the bible belt. It's Billy Graham, who's been around since the Revolutionary War. I'd have been more shocked if he said he supports gays.
Well, let's wrap it up with a salute to our nation's first responders...
What? You're leaving the shirt ON? What the hell are they supposed to grab onto???
-B-
Sunday, July 22, 2012
You're Not The Joker...You're Just A Pitiful Asshole
So, um...anybody know about any news going on in the world?
Anyone who's ever set foot in my thoughts in this blog could probably guess what I was going to talk about this week. I'll admit it...I don't have a lot of confidence in the intelligence of others. I have spoken to some REALLY dumb people (and, yes, thinking they're dumb makes me a dick). But somehow, some people always surprise me by the depths their intellect can take them. Take last Friday morning's shooting inside the midnight premiere of "The Dark Knight Rises" in Aurora, Colorado. A guy burst into the theater, threw a smoke grenade, shot and killed several people and proclaimed "I am the Joker!" (side note: this guy dyed his hair RED...which is NOT the Joker's hair color. It's insignificant, I know, but it gives me another reason to rip on the guy.) He also booby-trapped his apartment with deadly explosives. The suspect in the case just dropped out of a Ph.D. program for neuroscience. He was smart. Instead of using his brain for GOOD, police say he used it to take away the lives of others, including children. When I first heard about this story, I was pissed. I mean, REALLY pissed. Probably more pissed than I was during the 9/11 attacks (forgive me, I was much younger and didn't have a worldly understanding at that point). Now, I just feel pity for this 24-year-old guy who police say is now a mass murderer. How sad was his life that he thought the only way out was to kill people who'd waited YEARS for this movie? What's WRONG with him? And more importantly, could something like this (a quiet, seemingly normal person going on a killing rampage) happen to someone I know? My heart goes out to the people who were hurt and the families who lost loved ones. Those are the real victims. Their pain can be eased, but never fully taken away.
On a larger scale, this guy was able to EASILY buy guns at retail stores and ammunition online. Some people will say that the "terrorists" are the ones who kill people with guns, but americans' right to bear arms needs to be "preserved." This is just another recent example of an american "exercising" their right to end another person's life bear arms. What's it going to take, constitutionalists? If your child is shot and killed by your neighbor, will you STILL be preaching about your neigbor's second amendment rights? I don't want to see people NOT allowed to buy guns (though, to be fair, the constitution was written with times of war and self-defense in mind), but I WOULD like to see a little more regulation involved. If I went to buy a gun, I'd certainly submit to a psychological test to ensure that I'M NOT A KILLER. But I'm sure gun owners will say that's a governmental invasion of privacy. Hey, kids, no worries...it's all darwinism, right? Only the strongest survive? Go ahead and stockpile. Who needs the human race anyway?
Argh. God, I need something funny to take my mind off this...
Wait, does that Olympics logo say "SHIT"? Yes, yes it does. I've seen some great graphics mess-ups in my day, but THAT is in the top 5. What else do you have for me?
Hm...go figure, an angry foreign person in New York. I'm not impressed. Now, if you were to, I don't know, show it to me happening AGAIN to the same station several days later...
Come on, New York! You can deal with these crazies! Just do what WGN in Chicago does...
Hey, I'm going to let you in on a little secret. For as many assholes as you hear about that work in news, there are even MORE passive-aggressive pieces of shit. I see at least a couple of them every day. And they usually work on-camera. But I've NEVER seen part of a NEWSCAST that's passive-aggressive. Check out this sportscast from the Twin Cities. The anchor decided that the performance by Detroit's (I know, it's not IN the Twin Cities...don't ask me why they decided to be a dick about it.) pitcher was so terrible, they opted instead to play highlights from his girlfriend...
And finally, from attractive and legal to underage and...well...underage, check out THIS popular TV show getting a big screen reboot:
(Thanks to James Hartsell for the heads-up on this movie)
Okay, I feel a little better. By the way, not to bury the lead, but "The Dark Knight Rises" is a great finish to Christopher Nolan's remarkable Batman trilogy. If you'd like to see some of his other stuff, check out Memento and Inception...and the lesser known Following and Insomnia. Be good to each other out there.
-B-
Sunday, July 15, 2012
Stop Telling Me You'll Call Me Maybe!
What's up, Hard Thinkers??? Welcome back! Thanks for returning for the first post-R&R blog. Anyone else have important body parts that might have, um....melted?
Well, if you can't get to the beach or lake or whatever, but you want a simple taste of the easy life from the comfort of your home computer, might I suggest a little rock-skipping? No, I'm not suggesting skipping your MONITOR across a body of water. Check this...a robot has been set up along a lake and you can control arc and trajectory and what-not for it to skip a rock. Live. On your internet browser. Think of it like a live-action Angry Birds...but without the birds. And pigs. And, come to think of it, there doesn't seem to be any anger either. Anyway, check it out on this link. Fair warning: the robot does not skip rocks at night. The site says he's afraid of the dark... which warrants a whole new list of questions...
Do you like fireworks? Sure, who doesn't...aside from most dogs and cats and the occasional small child or grandmother. People in San Diego got quite the 4th of July show. It started with a blockbuster beginning, with DOZENS of fireworks being shot off...and then it stopped. Turns out, the 15-minute display ALL WENT OFF AT ONCE! (somebody's gonna get fired for that) Anywho, check out this 15-minute fireworks display...condensed into about 20 seconds:
Friday, June 29, 2012
The Blog That Should Have Been
So I told you last week I was having technical difficulties. Well, I was just going to let last week's blog go, but I have a few minutes before I pack for my trip and I got a rather angry response on the street from a reader of my blog, DEMANDING it be put up. Fortunately, someone nearby had a camera and took a picture of the exchange:
Who knew he was a fan?
So, let me hit you with the NEW information of the week...the Supreme Court upheld a large chunk of President Obama's health care plan. One of the key voters FOR the plan was conservative judge John Roberts. Little bit of a surprise. Anywho, just wanted you to keep up with the day's headlines. Because I would hate if something like this were to happen to you:
...hang on, the kids are making a lot of noise...
Ah, that's better. Had to put them down for a nap. No, they weren't MY kids, but they wouldn't shut up either. I wish THIS was an actual product:
(thanks for that, James)
So, anyway, I'm taking a flight for a couple of hours tomorrow. Someday, someone will make a plane with LEGROOM for the seats so the brats (read: 40-year-old fuckers) in front of me will stop banging my knees and understand that my body will NOT allow their seats to go back any further. Seriously, it's like tall people are hated or something...
Finally, let me tell you, it's hot out there. Reaching highs past 100 degrees this weekend. It's apparently worse in other places:
Can't wait to cash in on that "2 Degree Guarantee." I hope it's "we'll give you a dollar for every degree we're off."
Peace out and Happy 4th!
-B-
Sunday, June 24, 2012
My Blog Is Broken
I had a great blog worked out for today...and then my computer got all jacked up, so you're left with just a few random thoughts before I head to summer vacation next week...
Jerry Sandusky has been found guilty of kiddie diddling. Gotta be the first time in several months that a suspect in a high-profile case who's been vilified in the media actually got convicted. So it looks like he could spend the rest of his life in prison...a far cry from those winning days at Penn State. Now, about the case against Crazy Anthony...
Alec Baldwin...caught on camera attacking a member of the paparazzi. Not that he probably didn't have it coming, but come on, Alec...he's just been too busy lately to play your game of Words With Friends.
I met the king of comic books yesterday. Stan Lee is an institution, but a humble man. I'm thrilled to have met him.
Okay, guys, I'm outta here for a week or two. Have a great Independence Day!
-B-
Sunday, June 17, 2012
Now THAT'S What I'm Talking About!
Great job, everyone! You produced enough batshit-crazy stuff for me to actually use in the blog this week! Many thanks! I'm doubling your pay. Let's see...multiply 0 by 2...carry the 0...subtract 0 for taxes...eh, I'll work it out.
Let me start this week by saying: "Really, Zynga?" The game Draw Something, which is essentially based on the board game and game show Pictionary or the other game show Win, Lose or Draw, is coming to CBS as a game show. So let me get this straight...the game based on a game show is coming to TV as a game show. Right. Who's producing that thing?....oh, great, it's Seacrest. Well, good luck to you sir. If it turns out the way I have played Draw Something, people will draw incoherent lines and write out actual words...but they'll stop after the second show because the contestants will be bored with the same words over and over again. Shit you not, I have 8 games started...only about 2 of those people still draw for me. COME BACK, FRIENDS!
I'm thinking about writing my first fantasy novel. In it, two young knights will battle over the right to go after a villainous five-headed beast. One knight has already fought it and won...the other just wants to fuck it. Sir Drake and Sir Chris Brown will use bottles instead of swords to attack each other...the winner goes on to do whatever they want to the Fiveheaded Rihannorc. (Work with me here...it's fiveheaded because the forehead is just too big to be fourheads)
Hey, John Edwards got off on all of the rest of his criminal charges. It must be REALLY easy for that guy to get off...did you SEE his wife OR his mistress???
Big ups to President O this week for essentially giving more undocumented immigrants the ability to seek a fulfilling life in the U.S. No jokes here. Just thought it was a nice gesture. I was hoping Greece would let me in...but that's before they fucked up their economy. Gee, that sounds an awful lot like the U.S. waitaminute....
Anyone following the latest banking problems in the U.S.? JP Morgan dropped billions of dollars on bad trades over the course of about a month earlier this year. This week, the head of the bank was called to testify before Congress. You know these hearings...they usually involve angry senators yelling and talking about the people giving testimony like they were the worst people in the world. I can't wait to see what they do to this guy...
Oh. Well, that's easy for Jim DeMint to say since he started the recession.
(Never get tired of that guy.) Finally, a TV station in Chicago really wants you to watch...to the point that they're being BRUTALLY honest in their latest promo:
Dear WGN...HIRE ME!
Happy Father's Day.
-B-
| The Daily Show with Jon Stewart | Mon - Thurs 11p / 10c | |||
| Bank Yankers | ||||
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| The Daily Show with Jon Stewart | Mon - Thurs 11p / 10c | |||
| Bank Yankers - Jamie Dimon on Capitol Hill | ||||
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Sunday, June 10, 2012
Suffering From Meh-Lag
Hey, what's up everybody, and welcome back to Thinking Hard. We're even MORE appreciative that you returned since we were off last week. I'll tell you, I was more impressed with the Memphis airport than Detroit...because I could get some Popeye's Chicken. Remember, Popeye's...Louisiana Fast. (No, we're not sponsored by Popeye's, but it occured to me that I could use the spare advertising change. I have car payments.)
Sadly, you people did NOTHING in my absence. Here are the big stories:
--Author Ray Bradbury died. Sadness.
--I'll Have Another drops out just hours before attempting horse racing's triple crown.
--Wisconsin's governor survived a recall election.
Seriously, people, work with me! I need some chaos! Some excitement! Wait, what's this...Lindsay Lohan in a car accident??? Oo, was she wasted? Did she get out and punch the other driver in the gonads?...WHAT? NOTHING HAPPENED??? Well, what about this thing where Miss Pennsylvania says the Miss USA pageant is rigged and Donald Trump wants to sue her because he's Donald Trump...no? Not worth my time either? Huh.
All right, guess we'll go back to that Wisconsin thing...with a catchy title:
Really, Lawrence O'Donnell? A victory for OBAMA? What the hell?
You people have a week to do something hilarious. Get on it.
-B-
| The Daily Show with Jon Stewart | Mon - Thurs 11p / 10c | |||
| Madison Men - Scott Walker Prevails in Wisconsin Recall | ||||
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