You Don't Have to Hang Up...Just Make Sure You Can Drive!

Hello, Friends! How many times has THIS happened to you???...

(music playing on ipod)
(you driving, singing with music)
(car crashes into you)
(you die)

And then it turns out that the driver who hit you ran a red light because they were TXTing their BFF about a joke that made them LOL. WTF? They're a dumb POS. (by the way, that's Piece Of Sh*t) I know major metropolitan areas are moving toward banning cell phone use, but apparently it's not enough. So researchers at the University of Minnesota (Andy, you should go try this out!) have developed new technology that detects when young drivers are speeding (which, let's face it, can be attributed to any NUMBER of reasons, but one of the most common is not paying attention to that little thing called a "speedometer," which is apparently located right next to the "turn signal," since many drivers I encounter don't know how to use THAT either), offers a voice warning (presumably "SLOW THE FUCK DOWN, YOU LITTLE PUNK!" because that's what I'M usually shouting at them), and sends an automatic text message to the parents. That....is....awesome. Assuming the parents give a shit about their children (which, if they're not pregnant at 16, I can assume correctly), there could be grounding involved. Or punishment involving the children taking over the duties of Paco, the pool/garbage/landscaping man, for a week. This "Teen Driver Support System" also detects whether seat belts are in proper use.. and I'm not talking about holding that keg upright in the passenger seat. That idea TOTALLY tops the proposal I sent for cars to be built like bumper cars. Though my idea's more fun...
-B-