I know, I'm late or early, depending on how you want to view it. It's the holidays. I'm full of tryptophan. And I can't understand why all of my snow-covered patio furniture pictures aren't making it on my local TV station...
Yeah, people, fuck you. If we as local TV stations are gonna put out the request for your shitty-ass pictures, the least you can do is have the common decency not to be a lazy fucking ho-bag and go OUTSIDE and take pictures of your crappy patio furniture. Because, y'know, we just don't have time to take shitty-ass pictures of snow outside. Hey, we only have a couple of cameras and people barely competent enough to use them...what are we, miracle workers?
Hey it's Black Friday. On the competition this morning, viewers saw shoppers clamoring to get into a local mall. On our station, video from the same local mall showed...a couple people here, a couple people there, just casually wandering in. I wonder if we missed anything.
I don't really have anything else besides Alec Baldwin getting tossed from MSNBC. When the network announced he was getting his own talk show after all of the bad publicity he'd been getting for going after the paparazzi, I really wondered if it was just a ratings stunt. And now he's gone. So I imagine we'll see him with his own podcast or online talk show. Maybe MSNBC could book Stephen...he seems like less of a troublemaker. Also, my 15-years-ago self just had an aneurysm at that statement.
-B-
Friday, November 29, 2013
Sunday, November 17, 2013
Worse Mayor...Toronto's Rob Ford or Detroit's Kwame Kilpatrick?
At least Kwame didn't get a reality show before he left office and headed for jail.
What's up, peeps? Welcome back to a Sunday edition of Thinking Hard. I was just in Rome, Georgia, last night for an independent wrestling show. Funniest thing I saw? No, it wasn't the midget wrestler standing next to my 6'4" brother-in-law. It was the tag team called "The Movement"...who, for some reason, thought it made sense to put the team name on their ass. I hear they're facing the team of "Colonic Backup" next week.
Hey, didja know it was Rev. Billy Graham's 95th birthday? Didja? DIDJA? I only say it like that because I live in North Carolina where EVERYONE is clamoring to be up the elder Graham's ass. Fox News especially. Donald Trump attended the party. Greta Van Susterenenenenen also spoke. But my favorite part? The fact that the drivers of the buses bringing people to the event clearly aren't looking where they're going...much like other elderly people. Watch this reporter's expression after a bus almost backs into him...
Bus drivers. Psh.
Need something to disturb your brain? Check out this link of adults recreating childhood photos. Adults in diapers ahoy.
Speaking of diapers and poop humor, you might have seen the latest Thor movie that came out last week. The fabled god from the mythical realm of Asgard returns to Earth yadda yadda. Well, a major advertiser posted a great tweet about the movie this week...and simultaneously disappointed me that I didn't think of this first:
OMG! Butt joke FTW! I think I'm gonn-ass-wipe that joke. No?
Finally, let's wrap this on a good note. I don't usually (read: EVER) go for stories like this, but I fell in love with this one. Young kid fighting leukemia makes a wish with the foundation of the same name...and just wants to be Batman. So the city of San Francisco gets a shitload of THOUSANDS of volunteers to make his wish come true. Heck, even BEFORE the exciting day, a media agency set up a Twitter account for "The Penguin" to "taunt" the "Batkid." This is such a special story, even overshadowing the asshole city leader in San Francisco who thought the money would have been better distributed to children on food stamps. You know what dude? Batman's gonna throw a batarang into your eye and then fuck your sister. Dick. Anyway, check this out...
Kinda brings a tear to my eye to watch a city come together like that. I can think of a lot of other cities who can learn from that.
-B-
What's up, peeps? Welcome back to a Sunday edition of Thinking Hard. I was just in Rome, Georgia, last night for an independent wrestling show. Funniest thing I saw? No, it wasn't the midget wrestler standing next to my 6'4" brother-in-law. It was the tag team called "The Movement"...who, for some reason, thought it made sense to put the team name on their ass. I hear they're facing the team of "Colonic Backup" next week.
Hey, didja know it was Rev. Billy Graham's 95th birthday? Didja? DIDJA? I only say it like that because I live in North Carolina where EVERYONE is clamoring to be up the elder Graham's ass. Fox News especially. Donald Trump attended the party. Greta Van Susterenenenenen also spoke. But my favorite part? The fact that the drivers of the buses bringing people to the event clearly aren't looking where they're going...much like other elderly people. Watch this reporter's expression after a bus almost backs into him...
Bus drivers. Psh.
Need something to disturb your brain? Check out this link of adults recreating childhood photos. Adults in diapers ahoy.
Speaking of diapers and poop humor, you might have seen the latest Thor movie that came out last week. The fabled god from the mythical realm of Asgard returns to Earth yadda yadda. Well, a major advertiser posted a great tweet about the movie this week...and simultaneously disappointed me that I didn't think of this first:
OMG! Butt joke FTW! I think I'm gonn-ass-wipe that joke. No?
Finally, let's wrap this on a good note. I don't usually (read: EVER) go for stories like this, but I fell in love with this one. Young kid fighting leukemia makes a wish with the foundation of the same name...and just wants to be Batman. So the city of San Francisco gets a shitload of THOUSANDS of volunteers to make his wish come true. Heck, even BEFORE the exciting day, a media agency set up a Twitter account for "The Penguin" to "taunt" the "Batkid." This is such a special story, even overshadowing the asshole city leader in San Francisco who thought the money would have been better distributed to children on food stamps. You know what dude? Batman's gonna throw a batarang into your eye and then fuck your sister. Dick. Anyway, check this out...
Kinda brings a tear to my eye to watch a city come together like that. I can think of a lot of other cities who can learn from that.
-B-
Saturday, November 9, 2013
I Know What You're Thinking
...Blaine, where have you been?
...Blaine, why didn't you post a blog last week?
...Blaine, I think my baby is yours. Would you take this paternity test?
Ladies, ladies, ladies...and a couple of gentlemen...allow me to note that I'm still alive and kicking. Just had a long weekend last weekend and it didn't allow for any posting. So here I am, a day early (or 6 days late...your pick), to bring you my hard thoughts of the week...and there aren't many.
First, let me say that I want to run for mayor of Toronto, Canada, but I don't do enough drugs.
Second, I really want to punch someone for THIS idea that apparently was considered "good enough for morning news viewers across the nation"...
Maybe they mean it's a FUCKable conversation? I mean, shit. That's just dumb. I could see if they wanted to walk to a cock. Or a croutch. Or a crotch (see also "cock," but allow the ladies). Or even a conch.
The conch has spoken. But seriously? A commercial to walk to the couch? Shit. My commercial for walking over the couch is a fart. Also, overheard in the newsroom this week: snorefart. Hash-tag that bitch.
Hey, did you hear about the latest issues with Obamacare? Makes me smile...
Let's step away for just a moment to check out this poppin' new video from the band "Virgin Atlantic" called "Safety Video 2." Watch out, One Direction!
Finally today, a quick personal note. Intern Holly is leaving this weekend from the tree-filled hills of North Carolina to the crack-filled hills of Baltimore, Maryland. Holly makes me smile every day and I enjoy her wit, generally positive outlook...and her ability to interpret my incoherent scribbles on Draw Something (we're almost at a 1,000-drawing streak!). So, Holly, it's with a heavy heart that I say I hope you KILL IT in Baltimore and always remember there's a warm place for you to seek shelter here in Charlotte. Happy trails.
That's it, folks. Have a safe week. The countdown to the new Xbox and new Playstation is almost at an end.
-B-
...Blaine, why didn't you post a blog last week?
...Blaine, I think my baby is yours. Would you take this paternity test?
Ladies, ladies, ladies...and a couple of gentlemen...allow me to note that I'm still alive and kicking. Just had a long weekend last weekend and it didn't allow for any posting. So here I am, a day early (or 6 days late...your pick), to bring you my hard thoughts of the week...and there aren't many.
First, let me say that I want to run for mayor of Toronto, Canada, but I don't do enough drugs.
Second, I really want to punch someone for THIS idea that apparently was considered "good enough for morning news viewers across the nation"...
The Daily Show
Get More: Daily Show Full Episodes,The Daily Show on Facebook
Maybe they mean it's a FUCKable conversation? I mean, shit. That's just dumb. I could see if they wanted to walk to a cock. Or a croutch. Or a crotch (see also "cock," but allow the ladies). Or even a conch.
The conch has spoken. But seriously? A commercial to walk to the couch? Shit. My commercial for walking over the couch is a fart. Also, overheard in the newsroom this week: snorefart. Hash-tag that bitch.
Hey, did you hear about the latest issues with Obamacare? Makes me smile...
The Daily Show
Get More: Daily Show Full Episodes,The Daily Show on Facebook
Let's step away for just a moment to check out this poppin' new video from the band "Virgin Atlantic" called "Safety Video 2." Watch out, One Direction!
Finally today, a quick personal note. Intern Holly is leaving this weekend from the tree-filled hills of North Carolina to the crack-filled hills of Baltimore, Maryland. Holly makes me smile every day and I enjoy her wit, generally positive outlook...and her ability to interpret my incoherent scribbles on Draw Something (we're almost at a 1,000-drawing streak!). So, Holly, it's with a heavy heart that I say I hope you KILL IT in Baltimore and always remember there's a warm place for you to seek shelter here in Charlotte. Happy trails.
That's it, folks. Have a safe week. The countdown to the new Xbox and new Playstation is almost at an end.
-B-
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