The Blog That Should Have Been

So I told you last week I was having technical difficulties. Well, I was just going to let last week's blog go, but I have a few minutes before I pack for my trip and I got a rather angry response on the street from a reader of my blog, DEMANDING it be put up. Fortunately, someone nearby had a camera and took a picture of the exchange:

Who knew he was a fan? So, let me hit you with the NEW information of the week...the Supreme Court upheld a large chunk of President Obama's health care plan. One of the key voters FOR the plan was conservative judge John Roberts. Little bit of a surprise. Anywho, just wanted you to keep up with the day's headlines. Because I would hate if something like this were to happen to you: ...hang on, the kids are making a lot of noise... Ah, that's better. Had to put them down for a nap. No, they weren't MY kids, but they wouldn't shut up either. I wish THIS was an actual product: (thanks for that, James) So, anyway, I'm taking a flight for a couple of hours tomorrow. Someday, someone will make a plane with LEGROOM for the seats so the brats (read: 40-year-old fuckers) in front of me will stop banging my knees and understand that my body will NOT allow their seats to go back any further. Seriously, it's like tall people are hated or something... Finally, let me tell you, it's hot out there. Reaching highs past 100 degrees this weekend. It's apparently worse in other places:

Can't wait to cash in on that "2 Degree Guarantee." I hope it's "we'll give you a dollar for every degree we're off." Peace out and Happy 4th! -B-

My Blog Is Broken

I had a great blog worked out for today...and then my computer got all jacked up, so you're left with just a few random thoughts before I head to summer vacation next week... Jerry Sandusky has been found guilty of kiddie diddling. Gotta be the first time in several months that a suspect in a high-profile case who's been vilified in the media actually got convicted. So it looks like he could spend the rest of his life in prison...a far cry from those winning days at Penn State. Now, about the case against Crazy Anthony... Alec Baldwin...caught on camera attacking a member of the paparazzi. Not that he probably didn't have it coming, but come on, Alec...he's just been too busy lately to play your game of Words With Friends. I met the king of comic books yesterday. Stan Lee is an institution, but a humble man. I'm thrilled to have met him. Okay, guys, I'm outta here for a week or two. Have a great Independence Day! -B-

Now THAT'S What I'm Talking About!

Great job, everyone! You produced enough batshit-crazy stuff for me to actually use in the blog this week! Many thanks! I'm doubling your pay. Let's see...multiply 0 by 2...carry the 0...subtract 0 for taxes...eh, I'll work it out. Let me start this week by saying: "Really, Zynga?" The game Draw Something, which is essentially based on the board game and game show Pictionary or the other game show Win, Lose or Draw, is coming to CBS as a game show. So let me get this straight...the game based on a game show is coming to TV as a game show. Right. Who's producing that thing?....oh, great, it's Seacrest. Well, good luck to you sir. If it turns out the way I have played Draw Something, people will draw incoherent lines and write out actual words...but they'll stop after the second show because the contestants will be bored with the same words over and over again. Shit you not, I have 8 games started...only about 2 of those people still draw for me. COME BACK, FRIENDS! I'm thinking about writing my first fantasy novel. In it, two young knights will battle over the right to go after a villainous five-headed beast. One knight has already fought it and won...the other just wants to fuck it. Sir Drake and Sir Chris Brown will use bottles instead of swords to attack each other...the winner goes on to do whatever they want to the Fiveheaded Rihannorc. (Work with me here...it's fiveheaded because the forehead is just too big to be fourheads) Hey, John Edwards got off on all of the rest of his criminal charges. It must be REALLY easy for that guy to get off...did you SEE his wife OR his mistress??? Big ups to President O this week for essentially giving more undocumented immigrants the ability to seek a fulfilling life in the U.S. No jokes here. Just thought it was a nice gesture. I was hoping Greece would let me in...but that's before they fucked up their economy. Gee, that sounds an awful lot like the U.S. waitaminute.... Anyone following the latest banking problems in the U.S.? JP Morgan dropped billions of dollars on bad trades over the course of about a month earlier this year. This week, the head of the bank was called to testify before Congress. You know these hearings...they usually involve angry senators yelling and talking about the people giving testimony like they were the worst people in the world. I can't wait to see what they do to this guy...

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Bank Yankers
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Bank Yankers - Jamie Dimon on Capitol Hill
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Oh. Well, that's easy for Jim DeMint to say since he started the recession. (Never get tired of that guy.) Finally, a TV station in Chicago really wants you to watch...to the point that they're being BRUTALLY honest in their latest promo: Dear WGN...HIRE ME! Happy Father's Day. -B-

Suffering From Meh-Lag

Hey, what's up everybody, and welcome back to Thinking Hard. We're even MORE appreciative that you returned since we were off last week. I'll tell you, I was more impressed with the Memphis airport than Detroit...because I could get some Popeye's Chicken. Remember, Popeye's...Louisiana Fast. (No, we're not sponsored by Popeye's, but it occured to me that I could use the spare advertising change. I have car payments.) Sadly, you people did NOTHING in my absence. Here are the big stories: --Author Ray Bradbury died. Sadness. --I'll Have Another drops out just hours before attempting horse racing's triple crown. --Wisconsin's governor survived a recall election. Seriously, people, work with me! I need some chaos! Some excitement! Wait, what's this...Lindsay Lohan in a car accident??? Oo, was she wasted? Did she get out and punch the other driver in the gonads?...WHAT? NOTHING HAPPENED??? Well, what about this thing where Miss Pennsylvania says the Miss USA pageant is rigged and Donald Trump wants to sue her because he's Donald Trump...no? Not worth my time either? Huh. All right, guess we'll go back to that Wisconsin thing...with a catchy title:

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Madison Men - Scott Walker Prevails in Wisconsin Recall
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Really, Lawrence O'Donnell? A victory for OBAMA? What the hell? You people have a week to do something hilarious. Get on it. -B-