Okay, we're 5 days out from Election Day...which means we're 6 days out from the end of those God-awful election campaign ads. But, come on, we secretly enjoy watching the ads. Not so much the tame "I'm such a good person and you should elect me" ads, but the ones that are bordering on the outlandish. The ones that accuse their opponents of illegal practices, the ones complaining that the incumbents haven't done a thing in office except watch their own interests, and my personal favorite...Senator Elizabeth Dull...sorry, DOLE...accusing challenger Kay Hagan of being -quote- "Godless" and an atheist. I have seen some crazy ads in my day, but that is just about loony. Perhaps Dole's husband is her campaign manager? Next we'll see one suggesting voters using the "little blue pill" should vote for Dole. (Oh, and if you see a campaign ad that's paid for by a party or a committee to re-elect somebody, but not "approved by" the candidate, that just means the candidate liked the ad, but thought it in poor taste to verbally "approve" it.)
But then I read about an interview done via satellite with Joe Biden. Anchor Barbara West of Florida TV station WFTV had a 4-minute interview with Biden and she used part of that precious time to quote a teaching of Karl Marx. "You may recognize this famous quote: 'From each according to his abilities, to each according to his needs,'" West said. "How is Senator (Barack) Obama not being a Marxist if he's intending to spread the wealth around?" Biden's response: "Are you joking?" She wasn't. Later, the Obama campaign released a statement calling the interview "combative" and "unprofessional", and the campaign pretty much assured WFTV they would not get any more interviews until after Election Day. (I mean, I'm sure the questions just came from a newsroom manager whose sole reason for earning a paycheck is to tell other people what to do...and who doesn't work with one of THOSE?)
Think whatever you want about the line of questioning, whether it was appropriate or uncalled for. That's not the point here. The point is really two-fold...the media needs to grow a set, and the candidates need to grow a set. (and for those of you a little to old to understand the terminology...Senator John McCain, I'm looking at you...because you're OLD...I mean, grow a set of balls)
Hey, media (I say looking in the mirror), grow a set! You've had no problem asking Sarah Palin the tough questions (so much so that NBC's "not as exclusive" interview with "Palin" was with "McCain and Palin"...more on that in a moment). But how about hitting McCain, Obama and Biden with some BSC questions? And by BSC, I mean Bat Shit Crazy. Come on, take a chance! Ask McCain if the reason he's not releasing his health records is because of his ONE TESTICLE, then compare him to Adolf Hitler! Ask Obama about his terrorist ties to Bill Ayers, then show a picture from the Enquirer of the two of them looking at plans for a nuclear warhead! Ask Biden...more inane questions about Obama! Come on! There was SO much more investigative journalism in the days of Richard Nixon and Watergate (by the way, I pause for a moment to mourn this week's passing of the director of "Deep Throat"...who died after having a stroke). Reporters dug deep for dirt and FOUND IT, then VERIFIED IT before REPORTING IT. Now, there isn't enough time for a reporter to follow and investigate leads because they're too busy trying to shoot 3-5 stories during the day just to fill a minute and a half in the 6pm news. You think I'm kidding...I'm not. So that leaves the rest of you to pick up the slack. Start throwing shit at the wall and see what sticks! "Senator McCain, are you an alien?...No...Senator McCain, are you a robot?...Absolutely not...Senator McCain, are you scheduled to die the day after inauguration?...WHAT?? WHO TOLD YOU???" You're bound to come up with SOMETHING concrete as long as you keep asking.
Now, to the candidates...grow a set! After absolutely appalling (abysmal? suicidal?) interviews with ABC and CBS, NBC finally got a crack at making Sarah Palin say something absolutely outlandish...and John McCain sat by her the whole time! What the fuck??? I thought you picked her because she was her own woman! With her own values! And her own knack for shoving those hooker-booted-feet in her mouth! (which I hear there's a "homemade" video of...if you know what I mean) SHE'S A MAVERICK! Let her grab the deck and shove her OWN ace into the fight! (that line is really funnier if you say it out loud... then use the word "dick" instead of "deck" and "ass" instead of.. aw, forget it) You made your own bed, McCain, and spent some time staring at that fine ass without listening to her (like most old men look at their own daughters after a stroke)... now you have to lie in it. Look at the Biden/Obama camp. Biden's not afraid to step in front of a group of people and say Obama will be tested in the first month of his presidency if elected. The republicans say "OH! Snap! Biden's lost faith in his own candidate!" But Joe Lieberman says "Hey, assholes, I said the same thing a while back and I was talking about BOTH McCain and Obama...sure, no one listens to the jew..." And he's right. Foreign powers test new presidents. "W" was in office only about 9 months when Osama bin Laden decided to send some "Al Qaeda air mail" to the Twin Towers and the Pentagon. It is a fact of life. The kids always want to know just how far they can push the new babysitter, to see where exactly those limits are. In W's case, he came in, fell asleep on the couch, and while he was out, the kids put his hand in warm water and made him piss his pants. Then, for the next 7 years, the kids ran to the neighbor's house while W kept checking behind trees in the front yard saying "I...GOTCHA", only to find no one behind the tree.
We're going to be tested again and again because we're in charge of the world...or at least that's what we've been led to believe. And if Iraq wasn't filled with (God, can't we PLEASE use a better energy like, say, WIND that NEVER goes away???) oil, we wouldn't still have more than 4,000 troops dying over there. Whoever gets elected next Tuesday, I hope to high heaven that he is smarter than the guy in the White House now, whom I could really make smarter if the Secret Service would just let me open up his skull.. and PISS ON HIS BRAIN!
God bless term limits.
Thursday, October 30, 2008
Monday, October 20, 2008
The One We Waited For....I Guess
Want to start with a couple of quick shout-outs. My good friends Donald Zalewa, Charlotte Brown and Beth Bryant are all celebrating nuptials. No, they're not marrying each other in the first-ever three-way wedding... although that IS an awesome idea. Anyway, they're going off and doing all adult stuff like getting married, going on honeymoons, etc., and I'm thrilled for them. I wish I could be there for their special days, but I can't. So I'm hoping they know how much I love them by reading this blog... which you ARE reading, right???
Now, I just wanted to drop a little somethin'-somethin' for you faithful readers. Those of you who have actual lives on the weekends might have missed out on Alaska Governor Sarah Palin's guest appearance on Saturday Night Live. Yes, for weeks, Tina Fey has been dropping DEAD-ON impersonations of the vice presidential candidate, and this week, we viewers had the surreal enjoyment of watching the two of them on the same stage. It was almost as fun to watch as when Dana Carvey, known for his impersonations of George H. W. Bush, sat across from George H. W. Bush. Anyway, my thoughts on the opening segment... meh. I thought it was funnier to see Mark Wahlberg show up, wanting to kick Andy Samberg's ass for last week's "Mark Wahlberg Talks To The Animals" segment. He would later find Samberg and do exactly what Samberg did while portraying him last week:
But, the bottom line is, the Palin stuff wasn't really all that funny... until we got to Weekend Update. And THIS, my friends, makes going into sketch comedy TOTALLY worth it. Imagine this... I'm posting a Weekend Update segment and it's NOT Jean K. Jean. IN-CRAY-AH-BLAY!:
Now, I just wanted to drop a little somethin'-somethin' for you faithful readers. Those of you who have actual lives on the weekends might have missed out on Alaska Governor Sarah Palin's guest appearance on Saturday Night Live. Yes, for weeks, Tina Fey has been dropping DEAD-ON impersonations of the vice presidential candidate, and this week, we viewers had the surreal enjoyment of watching the two of them on the same stage. It was almost as fun to watch as when Dana Carvey, known for his impersonations of George H. W. Bush, sat across from George H. W. Bush. Anyway, my thoughts on the opening segment... meh. I thought it was funnier to see Mark Wahlberg show up, wanting to kick Andy Samberg's ass for last week's "Mark Wahlberg Talks To The Animals" segment. He would later find Samberg and do exactly what Samberg did while portraying him last week:
But, the bottom line is, the Palin stuff wasn't really all that funny... until we got to Weekend Update. And THIS, my friends, makes going into sketch comedy TOTALLY worth it. Imagine this... I'm posting a Weekend Update segment and it's NOT Jean K. Jean. IN-CRAY-AH-BLAY!:
Friday, October 17, 2008
I'm Blaine Clark, and I approve this message
Okay, first, for all you non-politicos sick of reading my posts about the election, I'll satisfy you early: it was reported this week that pop culture icon Rolling Stone is shrinking the size of its magazine. I'm talking actual physical size. It will now be the same size as every other magazine on the shelf, with a roughly 8 1/2" x 11" page size. So, for all you non-conformist college students who ordered the magazine to "stick it to the man"... you'll be pleased to know your non-conformist magazine is conforming.
Now, onto Misdirection '08...
This week marked the third and final presidential debate between candidates (named in alphabetical order so as not to appear biased) John "Don't Vote For Him, He's Old" McCain and Barack "C'mon, Is There Really A Competition At This Point" Obama. Not five minutes into this debate, McCain used an anecdote of a man at an Obama rally earlier in the week. The man is a small business owner worried about being taxed if he earns more than $250,000 (part of the Obama tax plan). His name...is Joe Six-Pack. Wait, no, that's not right... hang on here.... oh, here it is... Joe the Plumber. No, wait, that's not it either... hold on... oh, got it right here... Joe Mama. Oh, wait, I guess I was right the second time.
Yes, Joe Wurtzelbacher quickly became a "media darling" after McCain WOULDN'T SHUT THE FUCK UP ABOUT JOE THE DAMN PLUMBER. During the FIRST conversation about Joe, I got bored and started watching The Daily Show from the night before. I tuned back in for the debate 20 minutes later.. and the second sentence from McCain mentioned JOE THE DAMN PLUMBER! All this guy wanted to do was to give Obama some shit about his plan and get him to say "No, sir, you will not be taxed because you clearly are far better than the rest of the people in this world." Let alone we didn't hear that his wife is ALSO in a high-paying career in a similar field... she's a hooker. Oh, come ON... she OBVIOUSLY would know just as much about laying pipe as her husband! Okay, okay, I'll stop with the Joe the Plumber jokes. I'm sure we've all had MORE than our fill of plumber's cracks.
During the debate, McCain also expressed outrage that Obama would not repudiate the comments of a friend of both of theirs, Senator John Lewis. Lewis has spent the last few weeks comparing McCain and running mate Sarah Palin with a politician known well for his..um..."off-color"... oh, hell, they were RACIST comments... George Wallace. Okay, I can understand why McCain would be upset about being called a racist. Lewis also drew a link between McCain and a church bombing in Alabama. That TOTALLY pissed off McCain! He doesn't cavort with people who want to blow shit up in the U.S... he leaves that to Obama.
Yeah, kinda indignant on McCain's part to be compared to a terrorist act when he and Palin have been linking Obama with "known terrorist" Bill Ayers. "Paging Mr. Kettle, Mr. Kettle, there's a Mr. Pot on the phone for you..."
And the racism thing... why on earth would we get that impression from McCain? It's his VOTERS who are the racists! Like that nice, old bigot who, at a recent McCain rally, expressed she was afraid of Obama because he was an Arab. Wait... what? First, not an Arab. Second, does she usually find herself afraid of people of other ethnicities? Ohhhh, she apparently got her information about Arabs from the Wikipedia entry:
"Arab: see also Terrorist, Mad Bomber, Someone Who Doesn't Speak English, Someone Who Likes To Rape Old Women. Author: Mohn McJain." (It probably doesn't help that Palin is telling people that Obama is hanging out with terroristS, but can only name Bill Ayers. David Letterman asked him about those comments point-blank on the Late Show last night... to which McCain responded that not everything said in this campaign has been totally accurate. You think?)
At least McCain had the good taste to say she had no reason to be afraid of the tan-skinned man. I can't remember... did he respond to the person who shouted from the crowd at an earlier rally about Obama, "Off with his head"? Real classy, America. We've used our Freedom of Speech and Religion and turned it into "That thing in the constitution that comes up right before the part that says I can have 20 loaded guns in my home," which, by the way, it doesn't. It's a military right, not the right of every redneck, uneducated piece of shit in the country to have a gun in their homes that will eventually kill their children in an accidental shooting preceded by the words "Hey, Bobby, check THIS out!" Ladies and gentlemen, the law enforcement officers of America.
I digress... bottom line, this is a RIDICULOUSLY contentious fight for president, one that's forcing people to cross their own party lines and "root for the other guy." Example: Chris Buckley is the son of the founder of the magazine National Review. I don't want to point fingers, but I think most people at the magazine would agree that it's generally a conservative, right-wing, Republican publication. Anyway, Buckley (again, the son of the FOUNDER) wrote a recent column endorsing Obama. Seeing how that might not gel with the editorial board at the magazine, he resigned shortly after he wrote the column. This is not a critique of Buckley or National Review... it's just one example of how people are so sick of the past 8 years of George W. Bush mo-running the country into the ground. Heck, even McCain's statement that he'll get Osama bin Laden sounds SANE.
Anyway, McCain has done a brilliant job of forming a lynch mob... er, group of supporters... during the campaign and looked like an idiot doing it. Obama, meantime, is trying new things in this campaign. I won't say he's not attacking McCain and Palin (let's be fair), but he's also planning a 30-MINUTE campaign ad to air before the election (a la Ross Perot) AND is putting his campaign ads in video games with online connectivity (like on the Xbox 360 or Playstation 3). Billboards and other signs in the games will show Obama ads in at least 10 swing states between now and election day. BRILLIANT! That's someone who KNOWS about new technology... more on this in a second...
I want to interject here that I have lost a lot of faith in the voting process in the past 8 years. In 2000, the presidency was left riding on the number of votes in Florida and the number of Republicans vs. Democrats sitting on the Supreme Court. In 2004, after Bush had already started a war with a country that had NO weapons of mass destruction and, to this point, has NOT been proven to be hiding Osama bin Laden, people STILL re-elected him! So, no, I can't say that I'm going to vote in this year's election. Yes, every vote counts, and I strongly encourage you, if you have an informed opinion, to get out and vote for whoever you think will best serve the country. If you still don't know who to pick, but still want to vote, I IMPLORE you to PLEASE do some kind of homework on the issues. I recommend visiting the campaign websites of both candidates (and even Ralph Nader, just to see what he's all about). Don't watch news reports on the candidates. You're likely to get biased coverage. Fox appears to some viewers to be right-wing. CNN, ABC, CBS, NBC, MSNBC... they appear to some viewers to be left-wing. No one is reporting on Nader. All of that is fine and dandy for viewers who already know who they plan to pick. But for those of you "undecideds" out there, please go directly to the campaigns and find out what their plans for America are. Unedited, untainted coverage. There might be a few half-truths in there, but at least you're walking in with a healthy amount of skepticism, something that's sorely missing from viewers of local and national news coverage. But, I can't see a point in wasting my time in a process that has abandoned any common sense since I became old enough to vote. (However, I'm still on the fence)
Anyway, back to the point I was making earlier... Obama has a good feel for new technology and how to use it. McCain... I doubt it. Here's WHY McCain's TV won't even work past February:
Now, onto Misdirection '08...
This week marked the third and final presidential debate between candidates (named in alphabetical order so as not to appear biased) John "Don't Vote For Him, He's Old" McCain and Barack "C'mon, Is There Really A Competition At This Point" Obama. Not five minutes into this debate, McCain used an anecdote of a man at an Obama rally earlier in the week. The man is a small business owner worried about being taxed if he earns more than $250,000 (part of the Obama tax plan). His name...is Joe Six-Pack. Wait, no, that's not right... hang on here.... oh, here it is... Joe the Plumber. No, wait, that's not it either... hold on... oh, got it right here... Joe Mama. Oh, wait, I guess I was right the second time.
Yes, Joe Wurtzelbacher quickly became a "media darling" after McCain WOULDN'T SHUT THE FUCK UP ABOUT JOE THE DAMN PLUMBER. During the FIRST conversation about Joe, I got bored and started watching The Daily Show from the night before. I tuned back in for the debate 20 minutes later.. and the second sentence from McCain mentioned JOE THE DAMN PLUMBER! All this guy wanted to do was to give Obama some shit about his plan and get him to say "No, sir, you will not be taxed because you clearly are far better than the rest of the people in this world." Let alone we didn't hear that his wife is ALSO in a high-paying career in a similar field... she's a hooker. Oh, come ON... she OBVIOUSLY would know just as much about laying pipe as her husband! Okay, okay, I'll stop with the Joe the Plumber jokes. I'm sure we've all had MORE than our fill of plumber's cracks.
During the debate, McCain also expressed outrage that Obama would not repudiate the comments of a friend of both of theirs, Senator John Lewis. Lewis has spent the last few weeks comparing McCain and running mate Sarah Palin with a politician known well for his..um..."off-color"... oh, hell, they were RACIST comments... George Wallace. Okay, I can understand why McCain would be upset about being called a racist. Lewis also drew a link between McCain and a church bombing in Alabama. That TOTALLY pissed off McCain! He doesn't cavort with people who want to blow shit up in the U.S... he leaves that to Obama.
Yeah, kinda indignant on McCain's part to be compared to a terrorist act when he and Palin have been linking Obama with "known terrorist" Bill Ayers. "Paging Mr. Kettle, Mr. Kettle, there's a Mr. Pot on the phone for you..."
And the racism thing... why on earth would we get that impression from McCain? It's his VOTERS who are the racists! Like that nice, old bigot who, at a recent McCain rally, expressed she was afraid of Obama because he was an Arab. Wait... what? First, not an Arab. Second, does she usually find herself afraid of people of other ethnicities? Ohhhh, she apparently got her information about Arabs from the Wikipedia entry:
"Arab: see also Terrorist, Mad Bomber, Someone Who Doesn't Speak English, Someone Who Likes To Rape Old Women. Author: Mohn McJain." (It probably doesn't help that Palin is telling people that Obama is hanging out with terroristS, but can only name Bill Ayers. David Letterman asked him about those comments point-blank on the Late Show last night... to which McCain responded that not everything said in this campaign has been totally accurate. You think?)
At least McCain had the good taste to say she had no reason to be afraid of the tan-skinned man. I can't remember... did he respond to the person who shouted from the crowd at an earlier rally about Obama, "Off with his head"? Real classy, America. We've used our Freedom of Speech and Religion and turned it into "That thing in the constitution that comes up right before the part that says I can have 20 loaded guns in my home," which, by the way, it doesn't. It's a military right, not the right of every redneck, uneducated piece of shit in the country to have a gun in their homes that will eventually kill their children in an accidental shooting preceded by the words "Hey, Bobby, check THIS out!" Ladies and gentlemen, the law enforcement officers of America.
I digress... bottom line, this is a RIDICULOUSLY contentious fight for president, one that's forcing people to cross their own party lines and "root for the other guy." Example: Chris Buckley is the son of the founder of the magazine National Review. I don't want to point fingers, but I think most people at the magazine would agree that it's generally a conservative, right-wing, Republican publication. Anyway, Buckley (again, the son of the FOUNDER) wrote a recent column endorsing Obama. Seeing how that might not gel with the editorial board at the magazine, he resigned shortly after he wrote the column. This is not a critique of Buckley or National Review... it's just one example of how people are so sick of the past 8 years of George W. Bush mo-running the country into the ground. Heck, even McCain's statement that he'll get Osama bin Laden sounds SANE.
Anyway, McCain has done a brilliant job of forming a lynch mob... er, group of supporters... during the campaign and looked like an idiot doing it. Obama, meantime, is trying new things in this campaign. I won't say he's not attacking McCain and Palin (let's be fair), but he's also planning a 30-MINUTE campaign ad to air before the election (a la Ross Perot) AND is putting his campaign ads in video games with online connectivity (like on the Xbox 360 or Playstation 3). Billboards and other signs in the games will show Obama ads in at least 10 swing states between now and election day. BRILLIANT! That's someone who KNOWS about new technology... more on this in a second...
I want to interject here that I have lost a lot of faith in the voting process in the past 8 years. In 2000, the presidency was left riding on the number of votes in Florida and the number of Republicans vs. Democrats sitting on the Supreme Court. In 2004, after Bush had already started a war with a country that had NO weapons of mass destruction and, to this point, has NOT been proven to be hiding Osama bin Laden, people STILL re-elected him! So, no, I can't say that I'm going to vote in this year's election. Yes, every vote counts, and I strongly encourage you, if you have an informed opinion, to get out and vote for whoever you think will best serve the country. If you still don't know who to pick, but still want to vote, I IMPLORE you to PLEASE do some kind of homework on the issues. I recommend visiting the campaign websites of both candidates (and even Ralph Nader, just to see what he's all about). Don't watch news reports on the candidates. You're likely to get biased coverage. Fox appears to some viewers to be right-wing. CNN, ABC, CBS, NBC, MSNBC... they appear to some viewers to be left-wing. No one is reporting on Nader. All of that is fine and dandy for viewers who already know who they plan to pick. But for those of you "undecideds" out there, please go directly to the campaigns and find out what their plans for America are. Unedited, untainted coverage. There might be a few half-truths in there, but at least you're walking in with a healthy amount of skepticism, something that's sorely missing from viewers of local and national news coverage. But, I can't see a point in wasting my time in a process that has abandoned any common sense since I became old enough to vote. (However, I'm still on the fence)
Anyway, back to the point I was making earlier... Obama has a good feel for new technology and how to use it. McCain... I doubt it. Here's WHY McCain's TV won't even work past February:
Saturday, October 11, 2008
Crashing and Burning
So, who up in this hizzy has some money in that stock market??? I know, that's a terrible way to start this. It's like walking into a friend's home for dinner and saying "Hey, I just drove my car over your dad...twice...I think he might be dead...OOO, look, cocktail weenies!"
Seriously, the markets took quite a beating this week. The Dow Jones Industrial Average dropped to its lowest point since 2003. And overseas markets also felt the heat, with Japan's markets dropping 10% in a day and Indonesia actually STOPPED trading to avoid a major selloff. All this after a $700B buyout plan passed by Congress last Friday that was supposed to "save" the country. Now, the government wants to buy into banks to make sure we (the bankers) know our money is safe and government-backed. Oh, it's a good thing the federal government will soon be taking control of my money. I was thinking about sending it to the troops in Iraq myself, but apparently the government will be taking care of that for me. Seriously, how am I supposed to believe my money is insured by the federal government if we're already in a deficit in the billions-approaching-the-trillions? Here's an idea: I'll get everyone in America to send BACK that $600 tax rebate check if you will just STOP SPENDING THE MONEY! And let's consider this...the world markets look to OURS for financial advice. Yeah. Brilliant. That even AFTER they met George W.
And I'm in a unique circumstance. I'm in (I guess) the tail end of Generation X. That means I've been alive now for TWO stock market slumps. I keep seeing references to the crash of 1987, only I don't remember much of that one. I was only 10 years old, and Peter Piggy Bank was still in charge of holding my 401(k). This one is new to me...and at a time when investment analysts say I should be putting more of my money into investments. I can't say I blame them. This is like walking into Best Buy and seeing the HDTVs on sale for 80% off. Seriously, I have 5 bucks in my pocket...I can buy a share of General Motors stock. Or I can just feed it to my cat. At least THAT way, I can guarantee SOME return on my investment.
But here's the thing that worries me. This is the SECOND time in their lives that my parents have had to deal with this economic bullshit. Now, I say "bullshit," but I don't mean "the economy should always be awesome," because it's not. But it should also not be crashing twice in 16 years. I'm okay with volatile. The market lately has had 1-day drops of 300 points, only to recuperate and gain 200 more points. That's a little stronger fluctuation than I'd like, but I'm okay with it. I'm talking about the crap where EVERYBODY SELLS OFF THEIR FUCKING STOCKS LIKE THEY'RE ON FIRE! Come ON! Part of investing in the stock market is riding with the ebbs and flows. Hell, even people who "invest" by dropping 20 bucks in the Powerball drawing every week know they're going to have far more bad days than good... and some of those people don't even have any of their original teeth! How is it that THEY get it, but Wall Street doesn't???
And let's look at our grandparents. They're LIVING off their investments. If the market crashes, they're left without food, medicine... a HOME.
So, I think it's a fair assumption that much of America thinks the federal government can do something to fix economic problems (so far, the $700B buyout? Not so much.). It's also apparent that "W" isn't helping. I heard a stock trader on Wall Street, who listened to "W" try to convince America that everything is fine and not in a recession, say "He (W) just needs to stop talking." Agreed. The damage is done from the past eight years. It's time we look to the new presidential administration to see what they have to offer:
McCain has 5 homes (or 12...he forgets). He must know SOMETHING about real estate.
Obama is "best buds" (thanks McCain) with a man who used to be involved in domestic terror activities. He must know SOMETHING about investing in chemical companies.
Bottom line...America wants to know how, if and when the economy will be fixed. And the "his best friend is a known terrorist" bullshit from the McCain camp about Obama really makes me wonder if the guy who owned the first-ever dollar bill (HE'S OLD!) really has an economic plan at all. And given that half of America wants THAT guy in office...makes me think that the next market crash doesn't start on Wall Street, but Pennsylvania Avenue.
FIX....IT!
-B-
Seriously, the markets took quite a beating this week. The Dow Jones Industrial Average dropped to its lowest point since 2003. And overseas markets also felt the heat, with Japan's markets dropping 10% in a day and Indonesia actually STOPPED trading to avoid a major selloff. All this after a $700B buyout plan passed by Congress last Friday that was supposed to "save" the country. Now, the government wants to buy into banks to make sure we (the bankers) know our money is safe and government-backed. Oh, it's a good thing the federal government will soon be taking control of my money. I was thinking about sending it to the troops in Iraq myself, but apparently the government will be taking care of that for me. Seriously, how am I supposed to believe my money is insured by the federal government if we're already in a deficit in the billions-approaching-the-trillions? Here's an idea: I'll get everyone in America to send BACK that $600 tax rebate check if you will just STOP SPENDING THE MONEY! And let's consider this...the world markets look to OURS for financial advice. Yeah. Brilliant. That even AFTER they met George W.
And I'm in a unique circumstance. I'm in (I guess) the tail end of Generation X. That means I've been alive now for TWO stock market slumps. I keep seeing references to the crash of 1987, only I don't remember much of that one. I was only 10 years old, and Peter Piggy Bank was still in charge of holding my 401(k). This one is new to me...and at a time when investment analysts say I should be putting more of my money into investments. I can't say I blame them. This is like walking into Best Buy and seeing the HDTVs on sale for 80% off. Seriously, I have 5 bucks in my pocket...I can buy a share of General Motors stock. Or I can just feed it to my cat. At least THAT way, I can guarantee SOME return on my investment.
But here's the thing that worries me. This is the SECOND time in their lives that my parents have had to deal with this economic bullshit. Now, I say "bullshit," but I don't mean "the economy should always be awesome," because it's not. But it should also not be crashing twice in 16 years. I'm okay with volatile. The market lately has had 1-day drops of 300 points, only to recuperate and gain 200 more points. That's a little stronger fluctuation than I'd like, but I'm okay with it. I'm talking about the crap where EVERYBODY SELLS OFF THEIR FUCKING STOCKS LIKE THEY'RE ON FIRE! Come ON! Part of investing in the stock market is riding with the ebbs and flows. Hell, even people who "invest" by dropping 20 bucks in the Powerball drawing every week know they're going to have far more bad days than good... and some of those people don't even have any of their original teeth! How is it that THEY get it, but Wall Street doesn't???
And let's look at our grandparents. They're LIVING off their investments. If the market crashes, they're left without food, medicine... a HOME.
So, I think it's a fair assumption that much of America thinks the federal government can do something to fix economic problems (so far, the $700B buyout? Not so much.). It's also apparent that "W" isn't helping. I heard a stock trader on Wall Street, who listened to "W" try to convince America that everything is fine and not in a recession, say "He (W) just needs to stop talking." Agreed. The damage is done from the past eight years. It's time we look to the new presidential administration to see what they have to offer:
McCain has 5 homes (or 12...he forgets). He must know SOMETHING about real estate.
Obama is "best buds" (thanks McCain) with a man who used to be involved in domestic terror activities. He must know SOMETHING about investing in chemical companies.
Bottom line...America wants to know how, if and when the economy will be fixed. And the "his best friend is a known terrorist" bullshit from the McCain camp about Obama really makes me wonder if the guy who owned the first-ever dollar bill (HE'S OLD!) really has an economic plan at all. And given that half of America wants THAT guy in office...makes me think that the next market crash doesn't start on Wall Street, but Pennsylvania Avenue.
FIX....IT!
-B-
Friday, October 3, 2008
Love at First Sight
She had him at "Can I call you Joe?"
YES! The vice-presidential debate finally got underway last night after WEEKS of hype! Did you see the pre-fight comments from Sarah Palin? That girl's a spitfire! Check out her scathing wit and energy when our color commentator, Katie Couric, hit her with hard questions about READING:
Couric: And when it comes to establishing your worldview, I was curious, what newspapers and magazines did you regularly read before you were tapped for this to stay informed and to understand the world?
Palin: I've read most of them, again with a great appreciation for the press, for the media.
Couric: What, specifically?
Palin: Um, all of them, any of them that have been in front of me all these years.
Couric: Can you name a few?
Palin: I have a vast variety of sources where we get our news, too. Alaska isn't a foreign country, where it's kind of suggested, "Wow, how could you keep in touch with what the rest of Washington, D.C., may be thinking when you live up there in Alaska?" Believe me, Alaska is like a microcosm of America.
WOO! Take THAT, Joe Biden! Palin's not gonna waste her TIME talking about where SHE gets her U.S. NEWS & WORLD REPORTs! For her, it's not just a day full of news...it's an entire NEWSWEEK! I guess poor Katie's just gonna have to go ENQUIRE(R) somewhere else! (seriously, you couldn't even name Maxim? Good Housekeeping?)
So, let's go to the fight! Gwen Ifill's not going to let a broken ankle shatter her spirit...she's going in there to be the ENFORCER in this clash of the titans! There's not going to be any ear-Biden...er, bitin'... but this fight will STILL Palin...er, pale in... comparison to any other fight you've ever seen!
...okay, enough of that. So, it wasn't the "crash & burn" I was hoping for, but it was still a good debate. Biden and Palin were both very cordial to each other, almost FRIENDLY. Now THERE'S a chilling thought. I half-expected her to bring him cookies, but she has her own (and Bristol's own) children to look after, and there's just not enough time in the day, what with keepin' an eye on those Russians, because, after all, "Putin is always just around the corner." (If Palin had been reading her newspapers UPRIGHT instead of UPSIDE-DOWN, she would know MEDVEDEV is the new guy in charge in Russia)
Let's not kid ourselves, Palin had some tough questions on her already-shaky foreign policy, like "Please point to Iraq on this map." She DID address nuclear policy. She thinks no country should be in control of such dangerous weapons as nuclear weapons (wait for it)... except the U.S. to keep those other countries in check. Also, she doesn't think anyone should be allowed to have an abortion (wait for it)... except for her daughters, once she finds out her husband got them pregnant.
The debate got very exciting, but Biden and Palin mostly spent their time touting their respective running mates (the black guy and Old Whitey). Safe tactics by Biden AND Palin. There were actually times when Palin was talking that I saw Biden smile at her with a kind of "she made a really good point, good for her" look on his face. I was really expecting her to say something dumb.
But it wasn't ALL good points. During the debate, Ifill would toss questions her direction about international issues and her response would be "I DO think John McCain has the right plan, but let me go back to the point made by Senator Biden..." It was a beautiful case of "hey, watch my right hand conducting the orchestra because my left hand has only two fingers and half a thumb and is possessed by the devil."
Also, both candidates were asked about what they would do if their candidate was elected president, then died in office (I'm looking in YOUR direction, John "Who's older...me or Dick Clark?" McCain). Biden said it would be a national tragedy and he would continue Obama's work. Palin said it would be a national tragedy...and that she'd do her own thing in office! She went on to say "What do you expect with a team of mavericks?" I EXPECT THE VICE-FUCKING-PRESIDENT TO DO WHAT THE GUY WHO I VOTED INTO OFFICE WAS DOING!
And did anyone catch a REALLY subtle barb from Biden when he was talking about his upbringing? He talked about how things were tough financially for his family, and he worked hard and now he and his family have ONE beautiful home. I'm surprised Palin didn't respond with a "Hey, now, JOE, John McCain ALSO has a beautiful home! Like 15 or 20 of them!"
So, who won? Who cares? Not a lot of dumb comments in this one, which makes it less interesting. I'm just looking forward to what Saturday Night Live does with this one, presumably with Tina Fey as Palin, Kenan Thompson as Ifill, and Darrell Hammond...or a potato (is there really a difference anymore?).. as Biden. But if Obama and Biden win, Fox's "24" with Keifer Sutherland TOTALLY called it last season:
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