Love at First Sight

She had him at "Can I call you Joe?"

YES! The vice-presidential debate finally got underway last night after WEEKS of hype! Did you see the pre-fight comments from Sarah Palin? That girl's a spitfire! Check out her scathing wit and energy when our color commentator, Katie Couric, hit her with hard questions about READING:

Couric: And when it comes to establishing your worldview, I was curious, what newspapers and magazines did you regularly read before you were tapped for this to stay informed and to understand the world?

Palin: I've read most of them, again with a great appreciation for the press, for the media.

Couric: What, specifically?

Palin: Um, all of them, any of them that have been in front of me all these years.

Couric: Can you name a few?

Palin: I have a vast variety of sources where we get our news, too. Alaska isn't a foreign country, where it's kind of suggested, "Wow, how could you keep in touch with what the rest of Washington, D.C., may be thinking when you live up there in Alaska?" Believe me, Alaska is like a microcosm of America.

WOO! Take THAT, Joe Biden! Palin's not gonna waste her TIME talking about where SHE gets her U.S. NEWS & WORLD REPORTs! For her, it's not just a day full of news...it's an entire NEWSWEEK! I guess poor Katie's just gonna have to go ENQUIRE(R) somewhere else! (seriously, you couldn't even name Maxim? Good Housekeeping?)

So, let's go to the fight! Gwen Ifill's not going to let a broken ankle shatter her spirit...she's going in there to be the ENFORCER in this clash of the titans! There's not going to be any ear-Biden...er, bitin'... but this fight will STILL Palin...er, pale in... comparison to any other fight you've ever seen!

...okay, enough of that. So, it wasn't the "crash & burn" I was hoping for, but it was still a good debate. Biden and Palin were both very cordial to each other, almost FRIENDLY. Now THERE'S a chilling thought. I half-expected her to bring him cookies, but she has her own (and Bristol's own) children to look after, and there's just not enough time in the day, what with keepin' an eye on those Russians, because, after all, "Putin is always just around the corner." (If Palin had been reading her newspapers UPRIGHT instead of UPSIDE-DOWN, she would know MEDVEDEV is the new guy in charge in Russia)

Let's not kid ourselves, Palin had some tough questions on her already-shaky foreign policy, like "Please point to Iraq on this map." She DID address nuclear policy. She thinks no country should be in control of such dangerous weapons as nuclear weapons (wait for it)... except the U.S. to keep those other countries in check. Also, she doesn't think anyone should be allowed to have an abortion (wait for it)... except for her daughters, once she finds out her husband got them pregnant.

The debate got very exciting, but Biden and Palin mostly spent their time touting their respective running mates (the black guy and Old Whitey). Safe tactics by Biden AND Palin. There were actually times when Palin was talking that I saw Biden smile at her with a kind of "she made a really good point, good for her" look on his face. I was really expecting her to say something dumb.

But it wasn't ALL good points. During the debate, Ifill would toss questions her direction about international issues and her response would be "I DO think John McCain has the right plan, but let me go back to the point made by Senator Biden..." It was a beautiful case of "hey, watch my right hand conducting the orchestra because my left hand has only two fingers and half a thumb and is possessed by the devil."

Also, both candidates were asked about what they would do if their candidate was elected president, then died in office (I'm looking in YOUR direction, John "Who's older...me or Dick Clark?" McCain). Biden said it would be a national tragedy and he would continue Obama's work. Palin said it would be a national tragedy...and that she'd do her own thing in office! She went on to say "What do you expect with a team of mavericks?" I EXPECT THE VICE-FUCKING-PRESIDENT TO DO WHAT THE GUY WHO I VOTED INTO OFFICE WAS DOING!

And did anyone catch a REALLY subtle barb from Biden when he was talking about his upbringing? He talked about how things were tough financially for his family, and he worked hard and now he and his family have ONE beautiful home. I'm surprised Palin didn't respond with a "Hey, now, JOE, John McCain ALSO has a beautiful home! Like 15 or 20 of them!"

So, who won? Who cares? Not a lot of dumb comments in this one, which makes it less interesting. I'm just looking forward to what Saturday Night Live does with this one, presumably with Tina Fey as Palin, Kenan Thompson as Ifill, and Darrell Hammond...or a potato (is there really a difference anymore?).. as Biden. But if Obama and Biden win, Fox's "24" with Keifer Sutherland TOTALLY called it last season: