I Know What You're Thinking

...Blaine, where have you been?

...Blaine, why didn't you post a blog last week?

...Blaine, I think my baby is yours. Would you take this paternity test?

Ladies, ladies, ladies...and a couple of gentlemen...allow me to note that I'm still alive and kicking. Just had a long weekend last weekend and it didn't allow for any posting. So here I am, a day early (or 6 days late...your pick), to bring you my hard thoughts of the week...and there aren't many.

First, let me say that I want to run for mayor of Toronto, Canada, but I don't do enough drugs.

Second, I really want to punch someone for THIS idea that apparently was considered "good enough for morning news viewers across the nation"...

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Maybe they mean it's a FUCKable conversation? I mean, shit. That's just dumb. I could see if they wanted to walk to a cock. Or a croutch. Or a crotch (see also "cock," but allow the ladies). Or even a conch.



The conch has spoken. But seriously? A commercial to walk to the couch? Shit. My commercial for walking over the couch is a fart. Also, overheard in the newsroom this week: snorefart. Hash-tag that bitch.

Hey, did you hear about the latest issues with Obamacare? Makes me smile...

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Let's step away for just a moment to check out this poppin' new video from the band "Virgin Atlantic" called "Safety Video 2." Watch out, One Direction!



Finally today, a quick personal note. Intern Holly is leaving this weekend from the tree-filled hills of North Carolina to the crack-filled hills of Baltimore, Maryland. Holly makes me smile every day and I enjoy her wit, generally positive outlook...and her ability to interpret my incoherent scribbles on Draw Something (we're almost at a 1,000-drawing streak!). So, Holly, it's with a heavy heart that I say I hope you KILL IT in Baltimore and always remember there's a warm place for you to seek shelter here in Charlotte. Happy trails.

That's it, folks. Have a safe week. The countdown to the new Xbox and new Playstation is almost at an end.

-B-