Let's get one thing out of the way...there's a father in South Carolina who loves his son SO much and has SO much faith in him, he put up TEN GRAND to help him run for election to the U.S. Senate. TEN GRAND! So he must be one HELL of a contender, right? (man, I can't WAIT until the primary runoffs this Tuesday)...
| The Daily Show With Jon Stewart | Mon - Thurs 11p / 10c | |||
| Alvin Greene Wins South Carolina Primary | ||||
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Worst pickup line ever: "Hey, you like football? Then take a look at this porn."
Speaking of porn and the youth of America, let's talk about a man who MUST be SO proud of his little girl: Billy Ray Cyrus. Yup, Miley's putting out a new, wholesome music video of her new single and...SWEET JESUS! Is she walking around in skimpy black leather??? That might be a little...ahem...risque for her fans. Never fear, though. Miley said in an interview this week that she's not TRYING to look slutty and is just growing into her sexuality. Well, okay, I can understand that. I mean, it's not like she's pulling a Lindsay Lohan and walking around without underwear on and getting pictures posted of it online...SWEET JESUS! Apparently she did and popular celeb blogger Perez Hilton decided to go ahead and POST THEM. Because, hey, posting pictures of a 17-YEAR-OLD'S SWEET SPOT couldn't POSSIBLY be illegal (except in states where 17 is still considered a "child" and the sweet spot is considered "porn"). Another celeb blog reports Hilton likely won't face any charges, but, so far, ABC's pulled ads for "The View" from his website and TV Land (noooooooo, not TV LAND!) yanked their...ADS as well (what did YOU think I was going to say?). Ah, so in order to gain notoriety, I'm gonna need some barely underage girls to be naked...how about NO.
You know who's our daddy? Big oil. No joke. That dumb spill in the Gulf? America's supposedly been trying to prevent that for YEARS. This is really fascinating:
| The Daily Show With Jon Stewart | Mon - Thurs 11p / 10c | |||
| An Energy-Independent Future | ||||
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Again I say we need wind energy. I'd even settle for hydrogen energy. Is it safe? Depends on whether you consider the Hindenburg a bigger catastrophe than the Gulf oil spill. Your call. But maybe BP isn't as much to blame as we think. Maybe there's just a misprint in their emergency action plan:
| The Daily Show With Jon Stewart | Mon - Thurs 11p / 10c | |||
| Day 59 - Judgment Day - The Strife Aquatic | ||||
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Yeah, that's gonna cost 'em.
Hey, last week was one of my FAVORITE times of the year...the annual Electronics Entertainment Expo in California. It's the time when Sony, Microsoft and Nintendo bust out their new toys and games for the next year. Now, you might remember LAST year, Microsoft unveiled a motion camera that allowed for some truly FRIGHTENING interaction with a young boy in a small village. The user asked him if he did his homework and he said he did, but showed embarrassment on his animated face, signifying he did not do his homework. The human also held a picture up to the camera that she had drawn...and the computer boy took a copy of that image into the game and was able to identify what it was. Landmark stuff we're talking about here. This year, not so much. Microsoft revealed they're calling that motion camera "Kinect." But then they went into a crapload of terrible "games" including Wii Fi...I mean, some workout game that we've already seen. In fact, I wasn't impressed by the initial game line-up at all, but one game seemed like it would appeal to you, my dear readers. Dads EVERYWHERE will be racing to pick this one up.
Now Dad can spend even LESS time with the kids...
Let's wrap this up with one of the more famous fathers out there: Eminem. The guy sings about his daughter in every other fucking song he does. I feel like I spend more time with her than HE does! Well, guy's gotta pay the bills and has a new album, so he enlisted a VERY special adman for the job:
You're gonna love his nuts.
-B-
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