USA! USA!

Welcome, everybody, to Thinking Hard...and let's take a moment to congratulate/feel bad for Team USA in the World Cup. By the skin of their teeth, they advanced earlier this week from Group Play into the single-elimination 16-team tournament bracket. But they were knocked out by Ghana in their match yesterday. So sorry, Team USA. (for some of you, the minute you realized I was talking about soccer, you started reading my words as "blah blah blah blah skin blah blah blah Group Play blah") It's great to see that our fellow North Americans in Canada stand beside us that this loss is a travesty for Team USA. I mean, seriously, look at what they did to express their outrage:



I'm also getting reports that they shoved a vuvuzela up someone's...wait, sorry, that's not the word I'm getting...I'm ACTUALLY getting word that these canucks were protesting the G20 summit in Toronto. Wait, let me get this straight...you're PROTESTING leaders from 20 different countries in your city talking about their ECONOMIES??? Really, Canada? I didn't realize you got so upset about money being squandered. Best you NOT look at MY bank account. Also, I think they used canadian beer to ignite that car fire. Canadian beer tastes like lighter fluid. HA HA! Got YOU, canadians!

Besides, it's not like President Obama doesn't ALREADY have his hands full this week. General Stanley McChrystal, the head guy in Afghanistan, resigned after dogging the Obama administration in an article for Rolling Stone (because NO ONE reads that, right?). Actually, there was a LOT going on this week. Jon?

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(Stupid dramatic squirrel)

People in New Jersey are pissed. Nothing new, right? Seriously, someone has to be REALLY angry to punch SNOOKI in the face at a bar. Anyway, the state has set up a new website called JerseyDoesntStink.com, where people can defend claims of dirty beaches (true) and air (also true). When asked about the site, the cast of "Jersey Shore" said "Wait, WHAT? We're LIVING in Jersey??? Oh HELL NO!"

If you're a fan of this blog, you're probably used to reading me bitch about the TERRIBLE movies coming out of Hollywood. Well, I'm about to do it again. Dreamworks, having lost all abilities to make any more money off the Shrek franchise, has decided to rape our childhood memories and make a movie based on those little troll toys with the colored, fuzzy hair. Yes, you heard me right...the idea that makes sense in a $5 direct-to-DVD release is coming to theaters. I hear they're tapping Don King to star.

Let me take a moment to wrap this up with a COMPLIMENT. While television news nowadays is TERRIBLE to watch, with opinion outranking any kind of FACTUAL reporting on a daily basis (see also: Fox, MSNBC, etc.) and CNN struggling so hard in the ratings that they gave disgraced former New York Governor Eliot Spitzer (remember? The Spitzer Swallow?) his own show (!), it's nice to see that the future of journalism might not be so bleak. Take a look at Arizona high school student and reporter Keith Wagner going after a candidate for state superintendent...you might have to boost your audio a little for the candidate...



"Um, Mr. Wagner, your next interview is here. It's a Miss Palin? She's babbling something about magazines..."

-B-