I, For One, Would Like To Welcome Our Computer Overlords

More on Watson, the IBM computer, kicking the tar out of two Jeopardy champions in a moment. First, let's start Thinking Hard right with congratulations to one-half of the "My Two Dads" of this blog. After spending a few years in Peru, Andy has returned to the States...and has been hired back into the TV news producer fold! Some might think he's crazy for getting BACK into TV, but once the bug hits you, you're infected for life. So, congratulations Andy! You can still go read of his exploits from his time in Peru (and some absolutely breathtaking photos) under "Gringo in Peru" in our "Friends of the Show."

I also want to address something serious. More than a week ago, crowds of egyptians celebrated the downfall of Hosni Mubarak. Many TV networks sent reporters to cover the crowds and, as is part of the job, those reporters and their crews went right in the thick of the mobs. CBS reporter Lara Logan might not have such great memories of the historic day, however. It came out this week that Logan became separated from her crew...and the revellers punched her and sexually assaulted her. Soldiers and egyptian women finally came to her aid, but surely not before she suffered a lot of physical and emotional trauma. Even though I sit behind a desk in a safe, windowless newsroom, I am aware of the risks that all reporters and photographers face any time they're sent into the field to cover a story. They're usually just "this close" from become part of the story. And on the national and international level, many reporters seem to defy death or serious injury as they earn their sometimes-paltry TV salaries. Other reporters have not been so lucky to survive. For every Lara Logan or Bob Woodruff, there are countless other reporters, writers, photographers...all embedded in the danger zone with a constant concern for personal safety. Daniel Pearl is one of the most notable cases in recent history...he was a bureau chief for the Wall Street Journal and was kidnapped and killed by al-Qaeda following 9/11. To Ms. Logan and the other reporters who put their lives in the line of fire for the sake of free press and information...please be careful out there.

While protests against tyrannical leaders grip the world, some people are focusing on a different "travesty"...Justin Bieber's loss at the Grammys. Wait, WHAT? Surely I'm not reading this correctly...I'm being told I AM reading this correctly. It turns out "The Beeb" lost the Best New Artist Grammy last week to jazz singer Esperanza Spalding. Instead of taking the loss in stride, The Beeb's young (and stupid, stupid) fans took to the internet. Nope, not Facebook. Also, not Twitter. They went into Spalding's Wikipedia page and made notes in the entry that she won the award "by stealing it from Justin Bieber." Another person edited the entry to say "GO DIE IN A HOLE…WHO THE HECK ARE YOU ANYWAY?" Little harsh, don't you think? I mean, the Bieber bio-flick "Never Say Never" also came in second place last weekend to Adam Sandler's latest drivel. But you don't see the fans going after Adam Sandler, whose "talent" as of late is a bit questionable ("Grown-Ups," anyone?). Hell, Eminem lost a major Grammy to country group Lady Antebellum, but you don't see HIS fans calling for the band to go Ante-belly-up! And these are EMINEM FANS we're talking about! I'm GIVING EMINEM'S FANS CREDIT FOR NOT GIVING OUT DEATH THREATS, UNLIKE A BUNCH OF GIRLS WHO HAVE FEWER DADDY ISSUES THAN EMINEM HAS MOMMY ISSUES! Oh my God, get a hobby! So, in a moment of "Go Fuck Yourselves, Bieber Fans," here's a look at the Best New Artist of 2010...performing at the WHITE HOUSE...



While I'm on the subject of singers that need to be removed from the human race, Billy Ray Cyrus went all Igor this week, saying The Dr. Frankenstein..er, DISNEY Channel created a monster by signing his daughter (what's her name again?) to star in "Hannah Montana." He says the show destroyed his family. And that's saying something, coming from the guy who's best known (and ONLY known) for "Achy Breaky Heart."

As I'm thinking about monsters, check this out...a couple kayaking in a lake in Britain (not Loch Ness) was out kayaking and spotted what some say is the "cousin" of the Loch Ness Monster. It's one of the best pictures of the creature to date. Check it (it's the bumpy thing in the bottom right hand corner)...



One scientists believes it's just a larger-than-average catfish. Could be...catch it, feed a starving third-world nation.

Hey, Alvin Greene lost ANOTHER political race in South Carolina this week. He got 36 votes...or one-percent. Someday, someone will hear "Jim DeMint started the recession" and think "This guy should tour with Waka Flocka."

A sad week for book lovers...Borders declared bankruptcy. It's going to close about 200 stores. "Dear Borders, perhaps you wouldn't have to close if you didn't sell books that were misprinted right on the front cover...like this Batman graphic novel I bought this week. Can you pick out what word is missing?..."



Seriously, DC comics! You're in charge of TWO things...pictures and words! And you can't get WORDS right??? Least of all, you apparently have something against the word "of"!!! Well, DC, let me put this to you in terms you can understand: G- -uck yourselves. And can I put the next Batman book on reserve? Thanks.

Maybe a computer would have caught the error...like Watson, the genius, Jeopardy-winning computer:

The Daily Show With Jon Stewart	Mon - Thurs 11p / 10c
Intro - Watson Competes on Jeopardy
www.thedailyshow.com
Daily Show Full Episodes Political Humor & Satire Blog The Daily Show on Facebook

Watson's pretty smart, with the exception of answering "Toronto" in a Final Jeopardy question about "U.S. Cities."

But technology can do some pretty amazing things. Take New York, for example. There's now an app that can help people find the nearest five venues to find free condoms in the city as part of a safe-sex campaign. Researchers are now working on an app that can help people find hookers within a three-block radius, with filters for price, role-playing, STDs (and the probability of contracting them)...and whether they have a little "surprise" in the front of their pants (if you're into that).

And now, another moment with "Simon's Cat"...



In today's moment with "Blaine's Cat," Blaine finds a crusty and crystallized section of cat piss in his coat closet. There will be no more moments with "Blaine's Cat."

Finally, I wanted to share with you all what I did last night. I went to a performance of "Video Games Live." A video game composer travels the nation and has local orchestras and choirs perform some of the most popular video game music ever. I can sense you pulling away from me, so here's a little taste...from "The Legend of Zelda":



Epic.
-B-

(Special director's commentary for today's blog:
"What?? Internet Explorer's CRASHING?? I must have too much video in. Dammit. I really wanted to show the reporter getting tased and the anchor laughing on-air at 'Crusty Buttocks.' Actually, now that I think of it, if I want to see anchors acting like retards, I'll watch my own show."
"Oh, but I REALLY wanted Eminem dropping the f-bomb at the Grammys! Ah well, I'm sure he'll do it again."
"Why is SIMON'S CAT taking forever to load on YouTube??? It's not even that much animation!!! And what's that smell? Smells like cat pee...")