Remember, You Can't Have The Flu Without An F-U

So I broke down this week and set up a Twitter account for work. I don't post, only follow the major news sources (CNN, ABC, etc.) so I don't miss out on any breaking news. My boss convinced me it'd be a good idea. It's not. First, I don't post, so don't try to find and follow me. Second, I had two followers within my first 24 hours of signing up...again, I don't post, so don't try to find and follow me. Apologies to "100 Black Men" for the block. Third, CNN was showing some a major traffic pile-up in St. Louis this week (live, of course) because of slick roads. SIX HOURS after they put the shot up, they ran the tweet "20 car pile-up in St. Louis LIVE"...and as soon as that tweet posted, CNN shut down the shot. Twitter fail. On every level, Twitter fail.

Before I lose track of where I am, welcome back to Thinking Hard. It's been a rather odd week. Not the least of which is finding out a potential reason Borders is failing. I went in Friday to buy a book that's listed as "likely in store" on the store website. When I asked a store clerk where to find it, he said they'd only received one copy of it...and a store employee had CHECKED IT OUT! LIKE IN A LIBRARY! Look, if I can't sit down and read the whole book in the aisles without buying the book, your employees shouldn't be able to either. Give them a discount, but don't take an item for sale out of the store. I'm aware that GameStop (video game store) employees enjoy a similar luxury. I'm also not cool with that.

My rant continues...with a healthy Sheen to it. Yes, in case you haven't been following the headlines in the last few days, Charlie Sheen has forced the shutdown of his own CBS show, "Two and a Half Men." Jon Cryer's gotta be slapping himself in the forehead, thinking "WHY? WHY did I believe my agent when he said a TV show with Charlie Sheen would be a good career move? I'd rather go shoot a sequel to a Molly Ringwald movie! Any of them!" So Sheen called into a radio show this week and badmouthed the producer of the show. AND made himself look insane. Check out part of the ranting letter that TMZ got a hold of from Sheen:

I fire back once and this contaminated little maggot can’t handle my power and can’t handle the truth. I wish him nothing but pain in his silly travels, especially if they wind up in my octagon. Clearly I have defeated this earthworm with my words – imagine what I would have done with my fire breathing fists.

Then, as if he hadn't done enough, he went off on the PRESIDENT OF CBS on Friday. Man, when Sheen goes down, he goes down in a blaze of glory. Oh, and he recently told Lindsay Lohan to amp it down. Yes, THAT Charlie Sheen, in the same breath as his fire-breathing insanity, told Lindsay Lohan to bring it down a few notches. Can I get an order of self-awareness at Table 2 1/2 please???

While I'm on the subject of insanity, how about what happened on NBC's Today show this week? While the anchors were outside setting up the stories of the next half-hour, some lunatic hopped the barrier and claimed he was God's gift to music. What's even MORE insane was Ann Curry's response from INDOORS:



Yes, Ann Curry, you jumped in and saved the show. You're a hero...if for a moment the word "hero" means "dolt."

Also in the category of "Insane People On TV," some jackass in Oklahoma tried to steal from a hardware store this week...and he would've gotten away with it too, if it weren't for the meddling CHAINSAW he tried to shove in his SHORTS! You know you're a dangerous criminal when employees who see you in the store say (I shit you not) "I felt sorry for him, I thought the gentleman was crippled." I didn't figure out if that person meant MENTALLY or PHYSICALLY crippled.

Let's not kid ourselves, though...there are some REALLY stupid people out there (mostly living in the mountains of North Carolina). Take the parents of a teenage student in Florida. This week, they took what they saw as a final resort to get their son to learn...humiliated him. They made him stand on the street with a sign that read "GPA 1.22 ... honk if I need education" for several hours. If I may pose a suggestion: wouldn't that time have been better spent STUDYING????

Has the world gone INSANE??? If only there was something to calm me down...



Ahhhh, that's the stuff. March Madness is coming...
-B-