The Blogging Dead

It's been a hard week for us here at Thinking Hard. Too much death in the headlines. For starters, BIG news on a popular singer...that's right, Jennifer Lopez's marriage to Marc Anthony is dead. Reports have come out (mostly from the tabloids, so take these with a grain of salt) that Anthony once cheated on Lopez with a flight attendant (named Steve) and that he'd been controlling what J-Lo was wearing in public and during photo shoots. Those reports also say Anthony was jealous of J-Lo's career. Yes, Mr. Anthony, J-Lo's career is so big, she's become the host of a television talent competition instead of releasing album after album after album. She's basically following David Hasselhoff's career path. Well, I'm sorry for their twin 3-year-old kids...but mostly I'm sorry they were born into a marriage that was never going to work anyway. Remember...friends don't let friends procreate.

Okay, so I totally baited you there. I know there was a MUCH bigger death in the headlines in recent hours. I am, of course, talking about the death of...Borders Bookstores. The company announced this week it would hold closing out of business sales at its almost 400 stores around the country. No joke...I walked into a local store here Friday morning (the same morning that the email came out from the company announcing the closures) and that store was PACKED! It made me a little sad...and angry, given all of the SCREAMING CHILDREN!!! Parents, PLEASE find a sitter instead of taking your children shopping with you! Otherwise you're just unwilling spokespeople for abstinence.

Oooohhhh, you were waiting for the OTHER big death in the headlines. That's right, you can't try to make her go to rehab anymore, bitches. Amy Winehouse was found dead yesterday. Police say the cause of death is the combination of alcohol, meth, cocaine, heroin, oxycontin, cough syrup and Pop Rocks "unexplained." Can't imagine what killed her. But, in honor of her passing, let me offer one of the "star's" final performances from Belgrade back in June, apparently singing her hit "Mklsdf slskdf":



She's the only person I know who probably stumbled incoherently into her death bed. There's no "I want to be alone" here...more like "I want a macabutter car mmlsih and LET ME INTRODUCE sdklfj." Some say her passing is sad...I say the way she lived is sad.

-B-