Merry Christmas To All, And To All A Good Fight

Hey, everybody, and welcome to this special Christmas edition of Thinking Hard. Yup, we're one of the few offices actually OPEN on Christmas Sunday. That's wrong on so many levels. Well...TWO levels, anyway.

Let's start with a holiday shopping idea if you can find any stores open today...do NOT expect to find the new Air Jordans available ANYWHERE but eBay. Nike released the shoes early Friday morning and I learned a LOT about the current state of our economy: white people be POOR! Shoppers turned out to local shoe stores in DROVES across the country to lay down $180 for the shoes (which, incidentally, were NOT personally worn by Mr. Jordan, God rest his soul...wait, what? He's NOT dead? But what's he doing? I haven't seen him in weeks...). Well, these bright young consumers were NOT going to be held down by the MAN who did NOT want them to put their HARD-EARNED money back into the economy. They weren't going to wait in LINES holding TICKETS...because there's no order in the NBA, so there shouldn't be order buying shoes from an NBA legend! That's not what Mr. Air would've wanted! So I'm seeing all this video at these stores of people bum-rushing the EVIL GLASS DOORS blocking them from entering their favorite stores (that's un-American! Who puts LOCKS on DOORS???) and I can't help but notice...there are only about TWO white people in line to buy the shoes amid THOUSANDS of...um...NON-white people. And that's when it hit me: white people are POOR. They can't afford to drop $180 on a pair of shoes. But apparently the economy is GREAT for african-americans. I felt like I was playing a game of "Where's White-O?" in the sea of humanity out at these stores. So a big thank you goes out to the african-americans who braved the stores that refused to recognized the Emancipation Proclamation passed 150 years ago. And a big thank you as well to the companies who are WELL-compensating their african-american employees. And if anyone would like to support the poor white american working class, call me.

Hey, primaries and caucuses are coming up fast. The GOP candidates are making their cases for votes. Ron Paul stands to have a good showing in the Iowa caucuses. But he might be working a little TOO hard to support white America...



Well if THAT'S all it takes to get rid of Ron Paul... Actually, it takes even LESS to get rid of Newt Gingrich. His own staff FORGOT to apply to have his name put on the primary ballots in Virginia, as did Texas Governor Rick Perry. And there are NO write-ins on the primary ballots in Virginia. I guess they can be forgiven. After all, Gingrich is old...and Perry has the mental capacity of a 5-year-old...girl.

Hey, if you ever get out to Los Angeles, be sure to watch local TV station KTLA. They have a lot of fun. In fact, they've spent a few segments lately poking fun at an audio clip that accidentally aired of one of their reporters asking an intern to fetch him a cup of coffee (doesn't he know? Talent is supposed to ask PRODUCERS to do mundane things like that!). Let's take a look at all the fun and frivolity...



You might have noticed a LOT of time with that weather guy, Henry DiCarlo. Apparently he lost his joviality as Christmas got closer:



I guess he only likes to waste air-time when HE'S the one in charge of timing. I REALLY liked the anchor's response about cheese and "whine." For Christmas, I'd give that guy a pink slip. And that's why I'm not in charge. Anywhere.

I hope you all have a wonderful holiday with friends and family, remembering the true reason and spirit of the season. We'll be back next week to kick off 2012. Have a bang-up final week of 2011!

-B-