He Coulda Been a Contenda

Just when I thought the 2008 election season was getting boring...

Former Democratic V.P. candidate and North Carolina's golden boy, John Edwards, admitted in an interview with ABC's Bob Woodruff that he did, indeed, have an affair.

So what?

Yes, the TIMING of the affair is a little...erm...BAD, considering his wife, Elizabeth, had just finished battling CANCER. Apparently, it happened back in 2006 with a campaign aide who had been signed on to produce mini-documentaries about John Edwards. I've seen the picture of the aide, and she's not hot, but she's certainly not as "what the fuck was HE thinking" as a certain PRESIDENTIAL mistress. If you don't remember who she is, her name sounds like SCHMONICA SCHLEWINSKY.

Edwards says his inflated ego at the time allowed him to think he could get away with the affair. This comes after months of denying the story to the press...MONTHS after the tabloids got a hold of the story. In fact, one of my favorite parts of his interview with Woodruff was when Woodruff asked about supposed "hush-money" paid to the aide/mistress (he was referring to an article seen in a recent tabloid) and Edwards says, "Well, obviously that's not the case. Consider the source of the story." Oh, yeah...those crazy, ill-reputed tabloids...the same ones who published some rubbish about YOU HAVING AN AFFAIR TWO YEARS AGO!

Ahem...anyway, so where do we go from here? The Edwards family surely has some stuff to get through in private...probably with the help of about 6 therapists. And surely any shot Edwards had at being a running mate with Barack Obama is gone. Edwards also says he expects to do something else with his life besides politics...maybe law. (I would suggest "family law" or quickly becoming a "divorce attorney") But honestly, what does all this matter? Divorce and adultery are more predominant in today's society. Bill Clinton got caught doing the naughty nookie while in the White House, and he finished serving out his term. Hell, THAT worked out more as a PR stunt for Hillary than anything else...too bad she waited 8 years to cash in. Ted Kennedy has been consistently re-elected after that incident with the babysitter and the car that went over the bridge. Suuuure, Ted, NOTHING happened with that babysitter. Careful, Pinocchio, I can see your tumor growing. And even John McCain has admitted to having "marital problems" in the past...apparently he met Ugg in another cave after saving her from a pterodactyl and decided he wanted nothing more to do with Omm. (HE'S OLD!)

Seriously, it's a family matter for the Edwards clan. It sucks for them and there will always be a black cloud over their marriage, but I don't see why it should bother us. Hell, the Republicans were ready to send a guy to the White House who claimed it was his RELIGION to practice polygamy (I'm looking at you, Mitt Romney). And I don't think the scandal should even TOUCH Barack's campaign for presidency. The only things that could hurt him would be if people confused his name with the leader of an international terrorist group and if there was SOMETHING about him that made him appear different than any other president before him.

Oh crap.
-B-