Thank Goodness I Don't Deliver TV Interviews

Welcome back for the second Thinking Hard post of 2009! What do I get for that? Lint? Tinfoil? Brass farthing?

First off, you'll notice a new friend of the show. It's a blog written by that morning show producer in Chicago who went off on television snow coverage a few weeks ago (if you look in Thinking Hard's December '08 posts, you'll find the video link). If you enjoy Thinking Hard, you'll enjoy Ben's Breakfast Blog. If you don't enjoy Thinking Hard...then you probably aren't reading this. So piss off.

Also, a quick note, apparently there's a new gauge available to let people know what type of audience their online ramblings are tuned to, i.e. a college education or high school education, etc. Thinking Hard was awarded a classification of "Elementary." And let me promise you that in 2009, Thinking Hard will continue to fight hard for the exploits of mediocrity and the undereducated. After all, I've been told that two people I know (in their 20s AND 40s) had no idea that Washington, DC, was, in fact, NOT in Washington State and was instead in the District of Columbia. For such a little-known place, a lot of the nation's most important people sure do hang out there.

So, let's crack open this cold one and enjoy it. I titled this post "Thank Goodness I Don't Deliver TV Interviews" because I've seen a lot of really, REALLY bad ones this week.

Let's start with the media rampage of the juggernaut-cum-Godzilla known as Ann Coulter. She has a new book...and apparently a new "Fuck you, broadcast news" attitude. Spotted on both CBS's Early Show and NBC's Today this week, Coulter took pointed questions from respected journalists Harry Smith and Matt Lauer...and insulted them. What did you expect? An Ann Coulter interview where she's NOT combative and comes off like a total bitch? It's like going to a hockey game and NOT expecting to see guys punching each other's teeth out. Seriously, I'm a liberal and I would be willing to listen to Coulter's conservative views if she didn't seem like such an a-hole when she's doing it. Enough with the pious, "holier than thou" attitude! And if she's hoping her "attack on the media" will generate hype around her new book, consider this...I don't even remember what the book's called, and I've seen the cover now at least twice.

Also a target of Coulter's rampage is Caroline Kennedy, who's being considered to replace outgoing New York senator Hillary Rodham Beckinghamton Shropshire Checkoutmyfancymiddlename ImissedbeingpresidentbyTHISmuch Clinton. In a local TV interview in New York, Kennedy was heard at points doing what some consider "rambling", filling gaps in her sentences with a lot of "ums" and "you knows." Hey, I'm okay if Coulter wants to criticize Kennedy's lawmaking skills, but let's wait and see what happens if she's appointed. After all, I've heard PLENTY of useless ramblings from men and women who were ELECTED BY THE PEOPLE to their seats in Congress. And don't even get me STARTED on that Bush fellow...

But Caroline Kennedy isn't just drawing the barbs of Ann Coulter. No, sirree-bob, you betcha (you see where this is going). Recent grandmother and host of the new reality series "What The F*&% Am I Going To Do NOW?" Sarah Palin...wait, she's also a what...A GOVERNOR???...who would be stupid enough to elec...oh...

Anywho, Palin did a recent television interview saying that the media has been a little more forgiving in its interviews with Caroline Kennedy than they were with her. I mean, she has a good point. Kennedy's in line for a Senate seat! That's an important role! Can you imagine all the scrutiny she'd get if she was running for, say, VICE PRESIDENT??? Palin suggested it's a "class" issue. I agree...Kennedy is a member of the "upper" class; Palin is a member of the "no" class.

Palin also took shots at the "liberal journalists" who interviewed her during her stumble...er, drunken stupor...er, RUN for the Vice President's office. You might remember those "difficult" and "unfair" questions, like Katie Couric's "What magazines and newspapers do you read?" and the gripping follow-up question "Just give me a name of one of them." Palin chided Couric, saying the world does not revolve around Katie Couric. Again, I agree. Palin makes an excellent point. Katie Couric should not be treated as if she was, say, running for VICE PRESIDENT!

Palin made another point during her interview that she was defensive of any and all media coverage of her daughter's out-of-wedlock, almost-underage birth. I'm not going into that here with the exeception of two words: Tripp? REALLY?

And following "Sarah Palin's Happy TV Friends and Friends", one of her former co-stars on the comedy-tragedy that is her "career," Joe the Plumber has a new job. Get this: he's going to the Gaza region to report on the Israel-Hamas conflict for a website. Awesome. If he doesn't get shot in his first week, you can almost guarantee he'll be suggesting that Israel "put some of that Hamas on their pita chips and stop this war." He might also report the overwhelming presence of chickpeas in the Hamas ranks.

Let's slowly move away from politics and talk tech. President-elect Obama (I can't WAIT to drop that ELECT from his name...I'm so excited for him to take office, for inauguration day, I'm going to make some BARACK-COLI...it's a vegetable joke) announced this week that he's pushing for a delay in the government-mandated switch from analog television signals to digital television signals. The switch was ordered by Congress to happen next month. But apparently the government's not financially ready for the switch. This is the switch you've seen countless commercials about, talking about how you'll need a new converter box to attach to your antenna to draw in the new digital signal or your TV won't work. The government offered $20 off coupons for every American who signed up for them. But now they've run out of the coupons (and the money to support them) and are now putting people on a waiting list. But it DOES NOT mean there's a shortage of converter boxes. It just means you'll have to drop full bank for a box instead of saving 20 bucks. I thought it was funny that a lot of the people who won't be rushing out to by a brand new HDTV are the older audience members and that the signup for the coupons was on the internet...something they STILL don't understand.

Finally, a new type of television was unveiled this week at the Consumer Electronics That You Can't Afford In This Recession Unless You're A CEO Who Hasn't Been Convicted Of A Federal Crime Show (or CETYCAITRUYACWHBCOAFCS, for short). We're talkin' 3-D BABY!!! Finally, I can watch porn the way it was MEANT to be watched...expect to see the following post SEVERAL times on Craigslist:

"Brand new 3-D TELEVISION!!! Works great. $5,000 or $2,500 if you promise not to ask about the white stain on the screen."
-B-