The MOST wonderful time of the year? REALLY?!

Try telling that to the poor fuckers I left behind at O'Hare last night (after a 3-hour delay myself) who were trying to fly to DC or New York. In fact, I brought out a classic video clip that STILL works for this storm:



Let's heat things up for you in this winter storm...the high-priced call girl who brought down New York Governor Eliot Spitzer is now doing an ADVICE COLUMN! Hey, you KNOW it'll be awesome advice. After all, when this whole Tiger Woods thing got big, she said "At least I had the common sense to keep my mouth shut"...well, except for that one part, but he paid extra for it.

Speaking of keeping warm in bed, I am NOT one to promote Twitter. I think it's asinine and the people who use it apparently think they're more important than they really are. That said, ONE guy put it to good use. See, his buddy and his buddy's new wife asked him to house-sit while they went on their honeymoon. So, in his time, he RIGGED THEIR BED to update Twitter when they were having sex! It includes weight, length of time, a FRENZY RATING...even a JUDGE'S comments! Check this out...this is how their first "outing" started on Twitter: "They're on the job! #2 - Action commenced at 15.50GMT. Weight: 151KG." Here's how it ended 22 minutes later: "They're off the job! #2 - Action concluded at 16.12GMT. Duration: 22 m.05 s. Frenzy Index: 4 (easy listening). Judge's Comment: 'Good work!' 8:12 AM Dec 11th from Power Twitter" In an unrelated note, I'm available for housesitting...

I have to tell you, it's good to be back in town after all the crazy snow. No real cataclysms on my holiday break...just some real Christmas cheer for once. So, I'd like to spread a little cheer myself, especially for you Guitar Heroes and Rock Band members out there:



...okay, maybe this Guitar Hero thing is getting a little out of hand. Nothing says "Daddy doesn't have any time for you" like hooking up a giant Guitar Hero game to the garage.
-B-