I Have A Feeling I'm Forgetting Something...

...ah, well, it'll come to me.

Speaking of forgetting things, it looks like I forgot a few choice gift ideas in last week's Black Friday blog. If you like poo, and who doesn't, might I suggest a reindeer-dung necklace from the Miller Park Zoo in Bloomington, IL. Yes, the $15 "limited-edition" (because, hey, we can't do this all day) Magical Reindeer Gem pendant necklace contains dried, sterilized (oh, yeah, that makes me feel MUCH better) reindeer droppings, SPRAYED WITH GLITTER, on a beaded chain. Because nothing says "See, honey, Santa and his reindeer ARE real...here are the carrots you left for Prancer" like a reindeer-shit necklace. Still, it sure beats a lump of...ew...in your stocking.

And for the people who can't EVER seem to figure out where they're driving (and if they like drugs), SNOOP DOGG is doing some voice work to give you directions on your GPS. Oh, sure, THAT'S gonna help...what fucking direction is LRIZZLE???

Hmm...I swear there was something else I was going to talk about. Let me turn on some Chinese TV...it always helps me remember. Ah, it looks like EA has the new Tiger Woods PGA Tour game demo out:



OH! THAT WAS IT! Yes, if you've been avoiding the television like the plague this week, you missed the fact that Tiger crashed into a fire hydrant and tree outside his home early Black Friday (which is odd, because usually when Tiger drives, he misses both the water AND the trees). His wife said she used the first thing she had available...a FIVE-IRON...to break out a rear window and pull Tiger out of the car. Later, it came out that Tiger's had a few...um...shall we say LIAISONS with other women. Apparently when he was talking about playing 18 holes at Pebble Beach, he was NOT talking about golf. So now there's talk that Tiger's wife might have attacked him and he drove off to get away. Now, while there's talk that he might have to pay his probably-soon-to-be-ex-wife millions of dollars, don't feel bad for Tiger just yet. EA and Nike have both said they're sticking with Tiger as a spokesman, and he's just picked up a sponsorship deal from the car safety device, The Club. Now, he's going to need a new club to replace the one wrapped around his head...er, I mean, used to heroically save his life...but he's already got one handy: the Tire Iron. Let's see what Saturday Night Live has to say about this whole thing:



And while we're talking about getting a little piece of ass on the side, check out this picture UNPHOTOSHOPPED to promote a Sesame Street appearance on "The Tyra Banks Show:"



Hey, don't get upset with CM...he did it all for the cookie, uh-huh, the cookie, uh-huh, so you can take that cookie and stick it up your a...

-B-