The Newest Thinking Hard Intern

Ladies, gentlemen...and other...I'm pleased to announce a new hire here at the Thinking Hard offices. A brand spankin' new intern. Her name is Annika Graning and she was just born Monday night to my good friend Andy. So instead of letting her cruise through life and think daddy's going to do everything for her, Thinking Hard hired her shortly after birth. Let's face it...with the economy in the shitter, Andy's going to need all the support from his family as possible.

Another addition to the blog this week...new Friend of the Show. Avid (Occasional) reader James sent in the Great Typo Hunt in response to last week's "unnecessary" quotation marks blog. I browsed the blog...it's humorous. And a great reminder that America is stupid.

With THAT said, let's start things off with a little game I like to call "What's Coming Out Of Sarah Palin's Mouth?" The "presumed but still gonna keep ya in the dark about it" 2012 presidential candidate appeared on Sean "I'm really not the devil...I just have a tail like him" Hannity's radio show to talk about an upcoming visit to Iowa (ah, my home state...thanks for making me look classy). A reporter at CQ Politics wrote a headline for the story about the upcoming visit: "Palin Sought Iowa Speaking Event." Seems innocuous enough. Here's the transcript of her response on Hannity:


HANNITY: And you're gonna be speaking at their annual fall fundraiser on September 17.

PALIN: I am, and I was invited to, and I've been invited to for awhile -- to get to Iowa for different events, and I haven't been able to. I did see the headline on CQ Politics, and they're way whacked, saying that I asked for an opportunity to speak in Iowa.

And to me, a headline like that and a story that went on 'Sarah Palin pursued a speaking opportunity in Iowa to make a point' -- You idiot reporter. Why can't you follow up with a fact like asking "Really, who did she ask?, who did she pursue"?

We've got so many emails from people in Iowa, asking us to get there, so it's kind of an aside, but certainly evidence of how whacked reporters are today.


Okay, couple of things: 1. Are you insisting you DID NOT go looking for a speaking engagement in Iowa? That you DON'T need the money for your campaign coffers? I highly doubt that, considering you spoke in Alaska (and charged every person who attended) on NINE-ELEVEN, which some would consider blasphemy...but those are the same assholes who think muslims shouldn't go anywhere near Ground Zero, so hey, what's a contradiction here and there? 2. I don't argue that the reporter in question might indeed be an "idiot," but have you picked up any new "street lingo" since the 1980s, or are you still going to go with "way whacked?" (also, side note: does Bristol Palin's face look fatter to you?)

While I'm on the subject of hot messes (March is just around the corner...get those nominations in!), let's talk briefly about Snooki from MTV's "Jersey Shore." Snooki got drunk (shocker), bumped into people and spoke loudly at a beach at Seaside Heights...and was arrested for disturbing others (hey, can I have charges filed against her for disturbing me by appearing on a reality show?). The judge told her, "Rude, profane, obnoxious and self-indulgent is not the way to live your life. If this was your idea of a good time, it appears your recent celebrity has affected your judgment." If that makes you think of ANOTHER hot mess, the judge is way ahead of you. He called Snooki a (I shit you not) "Lindsay Lohan wannabe." Seriously, how bad is your life when LiLo is a step UP?

One more hot mess to discuss this week: Jon Gosselin. More specifically, his ex-girlfriend, Hailey Glassman. The girl whose name I'll never remember and whose face I'd never be able to spot in a crowd is writing a BOOK about her relationship with Gosselin. Ms. Glassman, if I might suggest a title? "The Seven-Month Itch (And The Numerous Creams I Had To Put On It)"

-B-