It appears that ABC is trying to find ways to convince people that they're not part of the (we can all thank Sarah Palin for this idiotic yet infectious term) "lamestream" liberal media. Item #1: Bristol Palin on Dancing with the Stars. Now look, I realize that the people on that show are doing as much "dancing" as they are "stars," but we've come to realize we're going to get a bunch of b-or-c-list movie, music, sports and TV personalities shaking their groove things for a few weeks and we'll enjoy poking fun at the Master Ps of the world while we cheer for the Shawn Johnsons out there. But let's not kid ourselves: Bristol Palin is NOT anywhere remotely related to the word "star." Quite the opposite. She's a black hole (just ask Levi). Nothing more. So it's clear ABC is directly trying to pander to Sarah Palin and get in her good graces by allowing her "virginal" daughter to appear on the show. Item #2: Outspoken conservative Elisabeth Hasselbeck is the new "reporter" for Good Morning America. I know, I know. This girl's only experience with anything related to news is sitting next to Barbara Walters on The View. How this chick rose to popularity is beyond me anyway. But, yes, by ALL means, put the former "Survivor" contestant and the girl who admitted on national TV that her third pregnancy was an error into a reporting position on Good Morning America. After all, the show has already sucked all the credibility George Snuffulupagus had from hosting "This Week." Why not turn it into a parody of itself?
Wait, I'm not done. ABC has done one more thing to piss me off this week. Remember CBS's "brilliant" (is anyone counting my quotation marks this week? Do I qualify for the "unnecessary quotations" blog?) idea to air a sitcom about the blog "Shit My Dad Says"? ABC's taking it one step further...the network execs are putting together a show surrounding the "Awkward Family Photos" blog. I'm. Not. Kidding. As blog, humorous. As book, humorous. As sitcom, TERRIBLE. Hey, ABC! If you're listening, I have a couple of actually GOOD sitcom ideas for you...but you'll actually have to THINK HARD to figure out one of them! (start sending your emails to ABC corporate now...we here at TH can use the big TV money)
Also a bad TV decision: they're going to remake the "Wonder Woman" series. Okay, maybe not as bad a decision as "Awkward Family Photos," but some of us have been waiting YEARS for a decent big-screen movie featuring Wonder Woman. The guy who's creating the show also created "Ally McBeal"...so expect a bunch of whining from WW about why Superman never calls back.
While I'm on the subject of awkward sexual encounters, a new study about sex came out this week. One interesting note: 85% of the men in the survey say their latest girlfriend achieved orgasm...while only 64% of the women said they had the big O. Lesson: women lie and men are gullible (many of them probably also believe Jessica Biel is a talented actress). Also of note: 15% of men aged 50-59 reported they'd received oral sex from another man at some point. No report on the response to the follow-up question "Was it an altar boy?"
Okay, let's FINALLY get to this:
| The Daily Show With Jon Stewart | Mon - Thurs 11p / 10c | |||
| Hurty Sanchez | ||||
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While we do enjoy poking fun at people here at Thinking Hard, I want to give Mr. Sanchez his moment as well:
Look, Rick, I can understand you being pissed that a former governor who was the butt of SO many jokes after sleeping with a hooker is now in the coveted time spot on CNN that you were on briefly, therein removing your opportunity to Wicker up the Shams in prime time, but let's not kid ourselves: if your last name wasn't Sanchez, I probably wouldn't realize you're in a minority. And yes, there are many jewish people in high-ranking positions in Hollywood and television news, but come on...don't you think they kind of EARNED it, what, with all of the CONCENTRATION CAMPS??? And if you think mexicans and hispanics and others are being mistreated, don't you think you should take it out on, oh, I don't know....ANYONE AT FOX NEWS, WHOM JON STEWART EXPLICITLY OPPOSES?????? Seriously, he makes fun of you because you're terrible at your job and, at times, borderline mentally handicapped. Not because of your heritage.
Speaking of the boobs over at Fox News, I KNEW this would be an issue when I saw it come out. The classic, over-the-top basketball video game NBA Jam is coming back. It's the game that started the "Big Head Mode" trend before Rihanna ever hit the scene. One of the classic features of the old version was the ability to put in a code and play as certain people, including the designers of the game and I even think Frankenstein's Monster was available. This time around, the designers included secret playability for President Obama, Vice President Biden...and, yes, Sarah Palin. But there are some complaints that the Dems are more represented in the game than the Reps. Seriously? The fact that the discussion about Reps vs. Dems in NBA Jam even came up makes about as much sense as THIS existing:
Stupid Levi. Thanks, Melissa, for giving me an image I just can't un-see. Like the OTHER Blaine Clark on Facebook, Stephen Hass. Here's the link: http://www.facebook.com/pages/Blaine-Clark/244458890606 I won't post any pictures of the site, but read this dude's wall. It's HILARIOUS. I kinda want to make him a Friend of the Show, but I think that would disrupt the space-time continuum.
Hey, you're probably familiar with Dora the Explorer. The 14-year-old girl who lends her voice to the cute animated character...is SUING Nickelodeon for royalties from reruns and DVD sales. Really? "Today, we're going to the...LAWYER'S OFFICE...the COURTROOM...and the CONFERENCE ROOM TO SETTLE...can YOU remember where we're going today?" I can just picture THAT courtroom battle: "Mr. Boots, Your Honor, for the plaintiff. Miss Explorer, can you show us on the Backpack where the bad men stole your money?"
Let's wrap this up with one more AWESOME clip. It's of Bolivian president Evo Morales in a charity soccer match. Ignore the music...a lot of the online clips had copyright violations. Anyway, just remember as you watch the clip: Morales is number 10 on the green team:
BOOM-SHAK-A-LAK-A! Can we trade players with Brazil? I'll take Morales and give Sarah Palin to Brazil. I'd vote for this guy!
-B-
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