Wait Until We Get To The Second Half!...I Quit.

That's right, ladies and gentlemen, if you haven't heard by now, the race for the White House is one man shorter. Perpetual rat-imitator Rick Santorum announced this week he's suspending his campaign (read: he's dropping out). Now I really thought that was interesting, considering he was dropping lines like "We're gonna come back in the second half" after Mitt Romney had a pretty successful Super Tuesday. What Santorum MEANT to say before the microphone cut out was "We're gonna come back in the second half...and quit." So now it's Mitt vs. Newt vs. Ron (Paul...y'know, the guy who's basically been ignored by the media) for the right to face President Obama in November...so, basically, it's Mitt. This whole thing is pretty cray-cray (crazy...I want you people to be able to communicate with the youth of America). I would've figured Newt and Ron (Paul...oh, COME ON! He was doing OKAY!) would drop out first. But no. Rick "Frothy-Poo" Santorum (look it up on urbandictionary.com) is the first to look at reality and say "Y'know what? I'm getting punched in the face pretty heavily here. Maybe I should just kinda back off." Good for him for facing reality. We do have a clip of one voter so shocked, he couldn't stop texting his friends...even in the face of certain danger (I tried to embed this video, but stupid KTLA doesn't have an "embed" function. So you'll just have to click the link and watch the video there).

Another REALLY big story...George Zimmerman was officially charged with second-degree murder in the shooting death of Florida teen-in-a-hoodie Trayvon Martin. 'Bout time. Now, one might assume that Zimmerman's arrest might finally END all of the pro-Trayvon rallies. One might be wrong. We're still waiting for an end to the rallies...oh, wait, I've just received an angry email from the group "Justice For Justice For Trayvon Rallies." Apparently they're just looking to join up with the Occupy Wall Street folks. But that one douchebag in the Occupy protests just can't stop himself from bringing his "Taste The Rainbow...Colored Bullets" sign. To be fair, that guy thought it was funny to start with and keeps getting egged on by his neighbors to take the sign into more dangerous neighborhoods.

And now for our new segment..."Really? Again with the new segment? Didn't that NOT work last time???"...

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And now for our new segment, "The End Of This Week's Blog."

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