Thinking Hard...Now 100% Vomit-Free

Hey, gang, welcome back. Did you feel part of your souls die this week? If so, it was probably because YouTube broke. That's right, for the "it seemed like FOREVER" moment of 15 minutes, YouTube went down. Unfortunately, it went down in the middle of the afternoon, the time most people reserve for clock-watching, emailing and watching videos of lolcats. Nope, you can not has cheezburger during that 15 minutes. Whatever did we do as a society for that 15 minutes???? It's like that new TV show, "Revolution," where the world loses power for years. But strangely, those people seemed to have it more together than the group who couldn't access the latest Piano Cat video (what is it with cat videos?). So for those of you poor bastards who went insane because you couldn't watch the top YouTube videos this week, allow me to present Thinking Hard's new segment, "Chimpanzees Are Assholes"... At least they didn't fling their poo at him. They just flung him like poo. This has been another installment of "Chimpanzees Are Assholes." Hey, anybody catch that second presidential debate? Holy cripes. President Obama took his 5-hour energy drink this time and came out swinging against Mitt Romney. And, as expected, Fox News wasn't happy...

The Daily Show with Jon Stewart	Mon - Thurs 11p / 10c
Democalypse 2012 - The Second Debate*: Now Including the President
www.thedailyshow.com
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The Daily Show with Jon Stewart	Mon - Thurs 11p / 10c
Democalypse 2012 - The Second Debate*: Now Including the President - Binders of Women
www.thedailyshow.com
Daily Show Full Episodes Political Humor & Satire Blog The Daily Show on Facebook

The Daily Show with Jon Stewart	Mon - Thurs 11p / 10c
Democalypse 2012 - The Second Debate*: Now Including the President - Benghazi
www.thedailyshow.com
Daily Show Full Episodes Political Humor & Satire Blog The Daily Show on Facebook

I was REALLY hoping one of them would slap the shit out of the other. That would've made it more fun. Let me take one moment to address the Libya thing. As much fun as it was to watch Romney eat a little crow, can we PLEASE discuss something that people GIVE A SHIT ABOUT? Yes, what day President Obama called this a "terror attack" goes to his communication with his team overseas. But what does that matter to me? When George W. Bush announced 9/11 was a terror attack, 2 massive buildings in New York had been wiped out and the Pentagon had been targeted. And that was just in the first 2 hours! The only reason the President needs to know if it's a "terror attack" is so the Secret Service can move his ass to an impenetrable underground bunker. Americans in general...they just know the world's falling apart. Other than 9/11, when's the last time we LEGITIMATELY looked to the President for guidance? Shit, in the last 5 years, americans have wanted to hear "Yes, we know the economy's in the shitter, and I'm going to use my executive order to fire all of Congress and get some people in here who know exactly what the FUCK THEY'RE DOING!" We don't get that. We get bitching about jobless numbers. We see companies opening and closing. We see more money poured into wars overseas that don't mean shit over here. Remember that war in Iraq? How getting rid of Saddam Hussein meant we were safer from his "weapons of mass destruction" and how the war would mean "cheaper gas"? Yeah, where's that? And Election Day is just a couple of weeks out. Candidates are trying to get my vote. I tell you what, you start talking about something substantial, show me hard numbers, admit if you've done something wrong and how you plan to correct it, and maybe...MAYBE...I'll consider going to the ballot box for the first time. Because so far in my lifetime, I haven't seen one person worth wasting my time for. Yes, my forefathers "fought and died so I could vote." Bullshit. They fought and died so that other countries like England and Germany wouldn't take over the U.S. You think ANY of those poor motherfuckers who died in combat walked in saying "Gosh, when they write about this in the history books, I hope they remember that we gave America the ability to be bipartisan assholes on the first Tuesday in November"? They fought to keep us out of concentration camps. They fought to keep kings and queens from running this place. I tell you what, you give me ONE PERSON to run this country while being checked and balanced by the Supreme Court and you've got yourself a deal. Because Congress isn't doing shit. They're just trying to support their guy in the White House and be a bunch of dicks of the guy in the White House ISN'T their guy. Our 2+ party system has absolutely given people political freedom, freedom to choose people they like based on where the candidates stand. It's also granted politicians the ability to be assholes. Because at YOUR office, if you disagree with the boss or you're a dick to your boss, you'll be fired. In Washington, it means you'll get re-elected. Again and again. But who am I? I'm just one american. And last I checked, no national election was ever decided by one vote. -B-