If you don't get the joke, BR stands for national ice cream chain Baskin Robbins, known for its 31 flavors of "slap your momma" goodness...and today's my 31st birthday. So it's my BR-day. (Hey, I can make dumb jokes...it's my birthday)
To celebrate, I'm adding a couple more friends to the show, but you'll have to wait until the end of this blog to read it. Or you can just skip ahead if you're like those people who pick up a mystery and skip right to the last page to figure out whodunnit. It's called "cheating." Can't you just be patient? I'll be done soon!
For those of you who stuck around, thanks. Let's start with a story out of the Republican National Convention this year in Minneapolis, MN. One of the visitors/delegates/lemmings (I REALLY think the new republican mascot should be a lemming...or a sheep) enjoyed listening to VP candidate Sarah Palin's acceptance speech, looked at his (I shit you not) $30,000 watch and decided it was time to head back to the hotel. Gabriel Schwartz, who's also an attorney in Denver, stopped at the hotel bar and started chatting up this pretty girl. He says they decided to go up to his room. She mixed up a couple of drinks, he made himself more comfortable, had a drink....and passed out. Yup, she drugged him and stole his $30k watch, along with other jewelry and cash for a total of (Schwartz claims) $50k. Okay, first, you're an ATTORNEY...I'm gonna bet this is NOT the first time you've ever heard of this happening. Second, check out what Schwartz told the media afterward: "As a single man, I was flattered by the attention of a beautiful woman who introduced herself to me. I used poor judgment. If there is any good that can come from this humiliation, it is to caution others that date rape happens to men, too." Really, Gabe? I wasn't there, but I can ALMOST guarantee you that what happened to you was not even remotely CLOSE to a "rape." In fact, I'm sure the lovely and talented crook you wanted to bone until the cows came home didn't even TOUCH your body except to remove your pretentious, overpriced Rolex and to pull your wallet out of your pants. I'm fairly certain she left that condom that was inside the wallet behind. You got robbed. I feel bad for you, because I think all average-to-below-average-to-painful-on-the-eyes men should get SOME kind of attention from an attractive woman at least once in their lives. But next time, take off that expensive watch before you try to chat one up. Or else your status symbol will instead be viewed as a symbol that you're a sucker.
Next up, Lindsay Lohan is expressing her views about the aforementioned VP candidated Sarah Palin. I encourage you to read it...because I'm not going to. I DO know that Lohan is critical of Palin...and it sounds like Lohan might actually be exercising her brain without getting naked to do it. I heard she wanted to be the new host of "Hardball" on MSNBC, saying "Going through life with only one makes you twice as much of a man." Actually, I've seen the chick Lohan's hanging out with now...what would she know about balls?
To celebrate, I'm adding a couple more friends to the show, but you'll have to wait until the end of this blog to read it. Or you can just skip ahead if you're like those people who pick up a mystery and skip right to the last page to figure out whodunnit. It's called "cheating." Can't you just be patient? I'll be done soon!
For those of you who stuck around, thanks. Let's start with a story out of the Republican National Convention this year in Minneapolis, MN. One of the visitors/delegates/lemmings (I REALLY think the new republican mascot should be a lemming...or a sheep) enjoyed listening to VP candidate Sarah Palin's acceptance speech, looked at his (I shit you not) $30,000 watch and decided it was time to head back to the hotel. Gabriel Schwartz, who's also an attorney in Denver, stopped at the hotel bar and started chatting up this pretty girl. He says they decided to go up to his room. She mixed up a couple of drinks, he made himself more comfortable, had a drink....and passed out. Yup, she drugged him and stole his $30k watch, along with other jewelry and cash for a total of (Schwartz claims) $50k. Okay, first, you're an ATTORNEY...I'm gonna bet this is NOT the first time you've ever heard of this happening. Second, check out what Schwartz told the media afterward: "As a single man, I was flattered by the attention of a beautiful woman who introduced herself to me. I used poor judgment. If there is any good that can come from this humiliation, it is to caution others that date rape happens to men, too." Really, Gabe? I wasn't there, but I can ALMOST guarantee you that what happened to you was not even remotely CLOSE to a "rape." In fact, I'm sure the lovely and talented crook you wanted to bone until the cows came home didn't even TOUCH your body except to remove your pretentious, overpriced Rolex and to pull your wallet out of your pants. I'm fairly certain she left that condom that was inside the wallet behind. You got robbed. I feel bad for you, because I think all average-to-below-average-to-painful-on-the-eyes men should get SOME kind of attention from an attractive woman at least once in their lives. But next time, take off that expensive watch before you try to chat one up. Or else your status symbol will instead be viewed as a symbol that you're a sucker.
Next up, Lindsay Lohan is expressing her views about the aforementioned VP candidated Sarah Palin. I encourage you to read it...because I'm not going to. I DO know that Lohan is critical of Palin...and it sounds like Lohan might actually be exercising her brain without getting naked to do it. I heard she wanted to be the new host of "Hardball" on MSNBC, saying "Going through life with only one makes you twice as much of a man." Actually, I've seen the chick Lohan's hanging out with now...what would she know about balls?
And, yes, Tina Fey did a drop-dead perfect impersonation of Sarah Palin on the season premiere of Saturday Night Live (quite frankly the only skit worth watching on the entire show...the whole show just seemed "off" and host Michael Phelps proved he should continue swimming in silence instead of trying to convince people he has a sense of humor). You want to see it, go look it up on nbc.com.. it's my birthday.
Okay, now for the friends of the show...
Adding the blog posted by good friend/news sister/cat sitter Katrina Gallagher (formerly Macaraeg..I am SO glad she married into a last name I can pronounce). She's posting thoughts about working out, etc.
And I'm posting another blog site, also cat-related. I don't normally do this, but since many of my readers are either fans of adorable animals..or fans of bad spelling.. icanhascheezburger.com seemed like an appropriate addition:
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