Just Palin Stupid

Welcome, everyone, to Economic Crisis '08...-'09....-'10....-whenever SOMEONE hurries up and FIXES IT!

Seriously, if there's any doubt that there's not enough money to save the economy, check out what AIG said recently...the $700B buyout was not going to be enough for them. NOT ENOUGH??? Bank of America is under investigation...the bank is accused of using the RESCUE MONEY to pay some of its executives $250k bonuses. I'M SORRY, WHAT???? And, speaking of that federal plan to save the banks, apparently the plan has changed. Instead of using the money to buy the troubled assets of the banks (i.e., defaulted loans and problem mortgages), the federal government is going to instead encourage the banks to go back to lending as they have done to this point. Troubled assets..still there. And guess what? Bank lending is part of where all this trouble began.

I was listening to the "Stuff You Should Know" podcast from the writers of howstuffworks.com. Here's the fascinating information I wanted to share...in case you're as in the dark about finances as I am: a lot of the current economic woes can be traced back to the dawn of mortgage-based securities. What's a mortgage-based security? So glad you asked...

I'll start bare-bones...when a person wants to buy a home, they apply for a mortgage loan through a bank. If that person has a good credit rating and gets a mortgage, that mortgage is considered a PRIME mortgage. Now, picture mortgages that are bought and sold like stocks by investors. Let's say John gets a mortgage. Now let's say Bob, Henry, and Skip are greedy sonuvabitches and buy into John's mortgage through the bank. Now, every time John pays his monthly mortgage payment, Bob, Henry, and Skip get a chunk of money. If John were to fall behind on his payments, Bob, Henry, Skip AND the bank would lose money. But John's less likely to fall behind because he has a PRIME mortgage. Well, there was an economic boom...before Bush, Jr., took the White House. So there was a LARGE demand from people looking to buy into mortgages. Investment banks were also taking control of the mortgages from the lender banks. So pressure went onto the lender banks to offer up more mortgages for people to invest in. So the lender banks say "Y'know, let's ease up on the qualifications for mortgages...what do we care? We're now just the middlemen and will no longer lose any money on problem mortgages." So lender banks eased the credit rating requirements and income requirements and began issuing SUBPRIME mortgages. I'm sure you've heard the word "SUBPRIME"...it just means the person taking out the loan isn't as financially capable of paying back the loan as the PRIME borrower. So, Bob, Henry, and Skip start buying into the SUBPRIME mortgages...big risk, but hopefully big rewards for them. Except the borrowers of those loans run into financial trouble. They miss 1, 2...10 payments. Their homes are foreclosed. And because that money's not coming in, Bob, Henry, and Skip lose money too. So foreclosures end up hitting people who own homes AND the people who invested money, hoping those homeowners would be able to pay back those loans. So, bottom line, we're all just a bunch of greedy bastards and are the victims of our own design. And apparently, if you have a 401(k) or IRA or something along those lines, there's a chance you have invested in those mortgages...or even your own. Weird, huh?

That's my little gift for you today. Now you can get pissed at PEOPLE instead of just the SITUATION. And there's nothing more fun than DIRECTED anger.

Also in the news recently, I spoke with my parents Monday night. My dad told me he and my mom were watching Morning Joe on MSNBC that morning when Joe Scarborough dropped the F-bomb on air live (Fortunately, my mother didn't hear it because she was crunching her breakfast). I went back and watched the clip on YouTube and saw that not only did he drop the bomb, he didn't even notice he did it! He meant to say "F- You" and his brain didn't filter out the "uck." Then he apologized to children who might have been watching, but told the adults to deal with it. The execs at MSNBC have already given him his Christmas present...no, not a pink slip (though in local TV, that would be the death knell for one's career). No, this year, Little Joey's getting a SEVEN-SECOND DELAY in his stocking. Santa must REALLY love him. (also, I'm not posting the clip on this site because if someone's gonna drop the f-bomb around here, it's me and not some highly-paid anchor on a cable news channel. So there.)

And let's talk politics. There have been a LOT of anonymous verbal attacks launched at Sarah Palin since John McCain lost the presidential election. Some McCain campaign "sources" have come out and told the media that Palin was a "diva" and had been known to throw "tantrums." They also said she wouldn't even READ her notes during the morning briefings and even thought AFRICA was a COUNTRY instead of a CONTINENT. So, when she was badmouthing Barack Obama about his "lack of experience," she thought his father was born in a country overseas? Sure, it's probably tucked somewhere in between Letsbombit-istan and Neiman-Marcus. Fortunately, she's BEEN to Neiman-Marcus, so she has SOME international background.

Seriously, though, Palin's been taking it on the chin (and by "it", I mean "Todd"). She's been talking to more media from her home in Alaska than she did during the time between her announcement as VP candidate and the presidential election. And she's telling everyone that she doesn't fault Katie Couric for her questions (like "What newspapers and magazines do you read?", to which she replied "All of them." What she didn't share is that "All of them" is actually the name of an Alaska newspaper that focuses on wildlife-hunting, snowmobile-racing, and shopping). She even said she wished she'd done MORE interviews before the election. Oh, believe me, Governor Palin, so do WE. But after your 2nd or 3rd interview, muddling through...what do you call it...the ENGLISH LANGUAGE...John McCain wisely decided to join you during those interviews. Seriously, he was doing TWO jobs during the campaign: 1) War Hero Trying To Become President and 2) Babysitter To A Woman Who Named Her Newborn Son After What's Likely Going To Be One Class He's Going To Have Trouble With In High School (Trigg..for Trigonometry...oh, come ON, it's a MATH JOKE!).

And I'll make this point again (because I did in my last post too)...it MIGHT have had something to do with the FEARMONGERING done during the McCain-Palin campaign. You know, trying to tie Obama to ACORN, which McCain and Palin has terrorist ties. Wait, what's this?...I've just been handed a story (from Tuesday...I have GOT to hire a couple of interns) that reports one of the groups that has funded millions of dollars to ACORN over the past several years is PULLING it's funding because of concerns that ACORN leaders are pocketing the money. You might have heard of this group. It's a group of U.S. ROMAN CATHOLIC BISHOPS! So now the CATHOLICS are TERRORISTS! Holy War! I'm kidding. I know the catholics aren't tied to terrorists. But it's funny to see the roles reversed, huh? Not so much "ha ha", but more "uh oh."

-B-