I Am Socially Awkward

Important party tip for you long-time readers of Thinking Hard: if you're speaking to someone you just met, then introduce them to one of your friends, make SURE you remember CLEARLY the name of the person you just met. Otherwise, they'll just introduce themselves to your friend...and you'll look like an idiot. It's a lose-lose.

A pretty slow news week this week...President Obama wants Congress to pass his new health reform, the republicans don't like it, nor do people making more than $350,000, who would end up footing the bill on the plan. As a guy who DOESN'T have three Jaguars in his five-story garage, let me say this: Get over it. You're not being taxed more because you're successful. You're being taxed more because you make a shit-ton of money, yet you STILL try to avoid the IRS. Piss off.

Also, today marks the last day in office for Alaska Gov. Sarah Palin. Let's see...Palin...Palin...why does that name sound so familiar? Ah yes, now I remember... former VP candidate, doesn't read magazines (or can't name them), has daughter who got knocked up out of wedlock, had spat with David Letterman over jokes about having sex with her daughters, was the focus of several ethics complaints while serving as governor, blames the media for not focusing more on the good things about Alaska (fishing and oil), possible presidential candidate in 2012 (God help us...no wonder that new movie suggests the world will end in 2012) and, most importantly, competitor in Thinking Hard's Hottest Mess Tournament '09. Hey, Sarah, good luck with whatever you decide to do next. Generally, employers don't want to hire me if they find out I quit a job mid-contract, but, hey, the american public REALLY doesn't know any better (see also: Bush Junior's SECOND term) so you do what you have to.

While we're on the subject of daffy chicks whose words become easier to ignore the fewer clothes they wear, former Miss California Carrie Prejean is writing a memoir. Yes, the 20-something woman who lost her crown because she couldn't be bothered to show up to Miss California events (to instead speak at anti-gay-marriage rallies) is writing a book. About her life. Let me guess... "Chapter 1: Birth-to-2009", "Chapters 2-36: 2009." Carrie, let me help you out. It's not that you spoke out against gay marriage to a gay blogger on national TV (not that anyone was watching). It's not that you had some risque photos taken and strewn across the internet and that show about YouTube...shit, what is it...oh, yeah: Inside Edition. It's that you were selected as Miss California, then didn't show up as Miss California to things that Miss California is supposed to do (whatever that is...trophy wife?) and instead used your tiara as a platform to speak out against civil rights. Tell you what, I've got the perfect title for you: "Angels and People Named Perez."

Anyone seen the new Transformers movie yet? Yeah, in terms of plot, it's okay. In terms of special effects, the movie-folk put a LOT of time into the details of the robots (too bad they didn't work more on the story). In fact, one of the producers said the scenes with that huge-ass construction robot (named "Devastator," if we're nerding it up in here) were SO intricate, they caused his computer to CRASH! That's AWESOME! I wonder if the computer made that transforming sound as it was dying...CH-CH-CH-CH-CH! (that's the sound...spelled out...shut up)

Finally, I thought this was a sweet story. A minor league baseball team in New York hosted a Lamaze class for pregnant mothers right in the middle of center field before their game last Sunday night. Other activities included allowing all pregnant mothers walk/run the bases. Funny, I would've thought they already would have been to third base...

-B-