Shut Up And Read

(ah, if only it were that simple...)

Breaking News! Michael Jackson is DEAD! More on that in a moment, but first, some ACTUAL news...

Breaking News! Alaska Governor Sarah Palin is resigning her office at the end of July. Friday, Palin announced she would be passing power to her lieutenant governor at the end of the month. Perhaps she's celebrating her independence by declaring herself a sovereign nation? Anyway, Andy actually sat through much of the statement (I don't have that kind of patience) and said it only took Palin SIX MINUTES to blame the media (that's me) for not covering the "good stories" in Alaska. After THAT Trigg-like rambling, she announced ELEVEN MINUTES in that she wasn't going to seek re-election...and ANOTHER MINUTE to say "Hey, wait a sec...did I mention I'm quitting office at the end of this month?" Well, good to see she got to the point quickly. Yes, Palin referred to the "rich" history of Alaska, including when it was purchased from Russia (she can STILL see it from her house) in what's called "Seward's Folly"...which was really only a smart purchase from the oil standpoint. Anyway, in what I'll consider "Palin's Folly," she says she can do more outside of government than as governor (well, at least she can get away with more...). Andy also mentioned that Palin said in her speech "The world needs MORE Triggs, not fewer." Really?

So, can a brotha get a new job title for Sarah Palin? Some speculate this could be the start of a presidential bid in 2012. Um, Mrs. Palin, I realize you're "America's Sweetheart" for the uneducated, but is it really a wise move to have a blotch on your political career that says "Resigned in the middle of term in a major government office" when you're looking to run for president??? Hey, at least she thinks she can beat Obama. In a recent interview with Runner's World magazine (apparently the only magazine she DOES read...or at least looks at the pictures), Palin said she could probably beat President Obama in a marathon. Maybe, but only if she doesn't stop halfway through the race. In unrelated news, I've decided to cancel my subscription to Runner's World. That and the expose of how former President "W" Bush used velcro on his shoes instead of laces just make me question the journalism involved.

We'll keep an eye on Palin's career as it moves ahea...er, whatever direction it's going. Now, to the other big story: Michael Jackson is dead! Did you hear about this? If you're like 2/3 of americans, you have and you stopped giving a fuck about 5 minutes into the 24-hour coverage. Yep, a survey this week shows 2 out of every 3 people in the U.S. are sick of the Jackson coverage. Can't say I blame him. The POPE didn't get this much press after he died! Maybe if the pope had been diddling young boys...

In a story that has NO CONNECTION to Michael Jackson WHATSOEVER, a guy boarded a US Airways flight from Charlotte, NC, to Los Angeles this week...and got naked midflight! Totally naked. The plane had to make an emergency landing in Albequerque to get him off (pun intended). Hey, that guy loves to fly, and it shows. Apparently the skies aren't THAT friendly. His tray-table wasn't the only thing in the upright position! Maybe he should have flied Air New Zealand, which recently started showing THIS safety video in-flight to keep the attention of the passengers:



Yes, those people are naked with their clothes painted on...or, as I like to call it, another Monday morning at the office.

Oh, one more news item...Bernie Madoff got sentenced this week to more than 100 years in prison for running a scam on investors that netted him millions of dollars. The sentence means he will probably spend the rest of his life behind bars. But, on the plus side, he's already snagged an advertising deal. We here at Thinking Hard got an early look at the ad:



Happy 4th!
-B-