YOU L....OSER!

Thank you for joining me for this special "Joint Message To All Thinking Hard Readers." First, I'd like to address some of the incorrect information being filtered about me through the media. The media says I'm helping illegal immigrants. That's not true.

"YOU LIE!"

Really, South Carolina Representative Joe Wilson? AGAIN?! On Tuesday night, Wilson did what no lawmaker in video-recorded history has ever done...been singled out as "That guy who heckled the president during a congressional speech." Yeah, President Obama was FINALLY putting out some information about that health care plan that everyone's bitching about...and "Joe Six-Pack" (more like "Joe Keg" if you've ever seen him) decides to shout "YOU LIE!" Dude, when you can force JOE BIDEN to look down and shake his head in shame, you KNOW you've fucked up. Now, to be fair, he did call the president shortly after the speech to apologize and President Obama graciously accepted it and we move on. Except there's a crap-ton of people who are pissed at him. John McCain, House Majority Whip ("Whip it good!") Jim Clyburn...shit, even people on his own African-American Affairs Committee bailed out two days after the speech! Maybe he struck a deal with Mark Sanford...because when you can replace a governor who flew to ARGENTINA to see his MISTRESS in media coverage, you KNOW you've fucked up.

Moving on, I got accepted to be a contestant on a reality show in Turkey. I'm so excited. Let's check out the advanced press releases on it...

"ANKARA, Turkey (AP) -- Turkish military police say they raided an Istanbul villa and rescued nine women who were tricked into thinking they were reality show contestants. They said Thursday that the women were held captive for two months. Turkish news reports say the nine women -- including a 15-year-old -- were made to believe they were being filmed for a Big Brother-style television show. Instead, captors sold their images on the Internet. They were rescued after some family members complained to police that they were being prevented from contacting the women."

...oh. Funny, I always thought the AUDIENCES were the hostages who were being mistreated. Seriously, have you WATCHED this season of Big Brother? Man, if Julie Chen wasn't banging the head of CBS, that show would be cancelled.

Have you guys seen the commercials for Ally bank? I LOVE this concept. The bank TORTURES CHILDREN for its ads! Check it...







And my personal favorite...



Hope you enjoyed today's "Thinking Hard."

...It's a piece of junk.
-B-