Dip The Ladle

Welcome to September and the official start of the fall TV season. Gotta make this one short because I still have about 80 shows on my DVR to watch...from Thursday and Friday nights ALONE! You know you're trying to record too much shit when your DVR starts smoking. So, it's a sad day here at Thinking Hard. It's the last week for Intern Kelsay, who has taken an offer to actually EARN money and work DECENT, NON-OVERNIGHT hours in a different city. (I wonder if I paid people and didn't lie to them, morale would improve around here...oh, well) So, I've been searching far and wide and spoken to our japanese branch of Thinking Hard (in OHIO...it's only funny if you know basic japanese), and I think I've come up with something as a going-away present. No, it's not that video game where you slam your hands on the table and flip it, causing a giant scene in a video game restaurant (oh, Japan, is there NOTHING you can't come up with...besides cures for major diseases?). It's the new "personal mobility device" from Honda. Yeah, if you saw the Segway and thought "Wow, I can just FEEL obesity rates climbing around the world," then you're gonna LOVE this thing:Wow, seeing Honda's president using it doesn't make it seem awkward to use AT ALL. Hey, you know what? I've just come up with my own "personal mobility device"...a LEG. Tell you what, I'll even let you have it for a two-for-one deal! Fuckin' Honda. Speaking of awkward and fuckin' (no, I'm NOT going where you think I'm going...which would be the mental image of a Mark Sanford, Argentinian woman, NY Governor David Paterson 3-way..."At least I'm not in NEW JERSEY!"), Kelsay, I hope your first day on the job doesn't end up like one of the new cast members of Saturday Night Live last night. See, with Amy Poehler out on her own and Kristen Wiig presumably about to be checked into a mental ward, SNL needed new women cast members, so they hired a couple of unknowns, rolling the dice and thinking they could be funny. On your first day on the job, you really, REALLY want to make a good impression. So one of the cast members tried her chops at hosting a sketch called "Biker Chick Chat," a fairly unfunny segment (unless, I presume, you're a biker chick) that put the word "friggin" EVERYWHERE in the script. And you know, if it's your first major sketch on live TV, and the word "friggin" is all over the script, you just KNOW it's a recipe for disaster:
So, Kelsay, best wishes and caviar dreams. Just don't "frig" it up. -B-