Hot. Another golfer with impeccable aim for pretty much any open hole out there is Matt Kuchar. (file this one under "Things I Really Wish Were Caught On Video") Friday, Kuchar took his second shot on the 9th hole at Augusta... and the ball bounced once, bounced off a spectator's shoulder... and landed right in his soft drink! Even more ridiculous than the shot was Kuchar's reaction to it: he did NOT offer to pay for the spectator's drink, saying the drinks at Augusta weren't too expensive. Dick. Funny, though... Kuchar was paired with Tiger Woods. Tiger apparently thought it was hilarious when Kuchar said "How am I supposed to get the ball out?" Apparently Tiger was remember his first time with a mistress... or his reaction after his SUV hit that tree back in November.
Hey, speaking of tournaments, I think we found our new theme song for next year's Hottest Mess Tournament:
While we're on the topic of hot messes, let's see what some of the competitors are doing in the off-season...
Bristol Palin is taking to television. Not just in her guest role in "Secret Life of the American Teenager," which we first reported a few weeks ago here on Thinking Hard. No, now she's the speaker in a public service announcement against teen pregnancy. The new PSA is called "I Never Thought I Would Be a Statistic." I would've gone with "I Never Thought I Would Be an Alaskan Whore." Anyway, I appreciate the message she's sending out to children everywhere...including her own child, Tripp. Hey, Bristol, nothing says "I wish I never had you" like a public service announcement saying "Don't fuck it up like I did."
Sarah Palin, on the other hand, is jumping all over President Obama for his efforts to cut back nuclear weapons in the world. Last week, Obama and Russia's president signed a treaty to reduce the countries' nuclear arsenals by a third. Let's see how the world (and Palin) respond to that:
| The Daily Show With Jon Stewart | Mon - Thurs 11p / 10c | |||
| The Big Bang Treaty | ||||
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In fact, Wednesday on GOP News...I mean "FOX" "News," Palin compared Obama to a kid in a playground who is asking for a punch in the face. Dear, President Obama... pleasedon'ttakethehighroad, pleasedon'ttakethehighroad:
Maybe Ms. Palin would be better off focusing on her OTHER career path:
I think that channel will give Fox "News" a run in the ratings...
Hey, MTV's doing a new show...and no, it has NOTHING to do with music videos. Now, they're SPINNING OFF the "hit" show "Jersey Shore." They're casting for a PERSIAN-AMERICAN version! So, let me get this straight... the show that will in all probability be called "Persian Shore" will feature hairy guys who wear too much cologne and are mistaken for italians? Why not just save me stabbing my eyes out and put those guys on "Jersey Shore" too???
Now it's time to look at "Issues You Pretend To Be Interested In"...first up, global warming (with a special guest appearance for Charlotte-area readers):
| The Colbert Report | Mon - Thurs 11:30pm / 10:30c | |||
| Science Catfight - Joe Bastardi vs. Brenda Ekwurzel | ||||
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Y'know, if that argument proves nothing else, it's that Accuweather does NOT have a good dental plan... but they WILL pay for a gym membership. That brings us to the hot topic of health care:
| The Daily Show With Jon Stewart | Mon - Thurs 11p / 10c | |||
| Inethical Basterds | ||||
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While we're talking about putting kids in therapy (no, this is NOT a catholic church joke)...
Maybe that girl should have been allowed to speak to an operator in India...
And now for two ridiculously cool pieces of video you should see this week. The first comes from "Late Night with Jimmy Fallon" and coincides with this week's return of Fox's "Glee." If you're not watching "Glee," you're missing out. Fallon has done a couple of parodies, but this one takes the cake if you're a fan of NBC's "Parks and Recreation":
Finally, do NOT piss off the video games:
PIXELS by PATRICK JEAN.
Uploaded by onemoreprod. - Independent web videos.
Video games do NOT *heart* NY.
-B-
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