Sunday, April 25, 2010

You Feel Good (or Going OCD On The NCAA)

I'd like to start this installment of Thinking Hard with an update. Last week, you might remember we showed a clip from The Daily Show (or as I like to call it, The Thinking Hard New York Bureau) in which Jon Stewart criticized Fox "News" commentator Bernard Goldberg ("Bernie" to his friends, "That Angry Jew" to his enemies). It seems Mr. Goldberg has something to say to refute Mr. Stewart:

The Daily Show With Jon StewartMon - Thurs 11p / 10c
Bernie Goldberg Fires Back
www.thedailyshow.com
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(Where can I hire that choir? There are a couple of people I work with who should hear them perform...)

If you're like me, you're a fan of television...and blogging in your underwear. If you like television, there's a good chance that Thursday nights blow your DVR to pieces with endless offerings of quality programming. The 9pm EST hour is especially rough on my DVR because I enjoy The Office on NBC, Fringe on Fox, Supernatural on the CW (don't judge) and CSI on CBS. My DVR can only record two channels at a time, so I'm forced to go to the interwebs to see the rest of my favorite shows. Sites like Hulu are great for that. Limited commercials. Quick posting of new shows. What's not to love? Oh...HULU'S TOYING WITH THE IDEA OF A $10 SUBSCRIPTION!!!! Now, to be fair, I could still watch the five most recent episodes of my favorite shows for free. But the older episodes? Yup, I'm paying for it. What the hell, Hulu? Why am I going to buy the cow when I can get the milk for free somewhere else?

Speaking of things I just don't understand, how about basic math? The NCAA announced this week it plans to increase the number of teams in the March Madness tournament to 68. Currently, 64 teams participate in the main tournament (with one play-in game). That's four regions of 16 teams, making for 8 first round matches. It's a nice even number. Now, let's look at how many teams each region would have for 68 total teams...let's see, carry the one...17. And that makes...subtract the three...8 and a half first round games. Wait, WHAT??? Eight and a HALF??? Great, now I'm going to have to change the Hottest Mess Tournament line-up to include someone's top or bottom half...and let me tell you, NEITHER half of Lindsay Lohan looks that appealling. Though, on the plus side, we can save the environment and cut down on the plastic use by only using half of Heidi Montag. I'm thinking bottom half.

You know who else doesn't understand basic math? Goldman Sachs. Big surprise: the government's investigating the banker and it appears the company might have profited from the housing collapse. I believe Jon Stewart has a segment designed especially for Goldman Sachs:

The Daily Show With Jon StewartMon - Thurs 11p / 10c
These F@#king Guys - Goldman Sachs
www.thedailyshow.com
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(It's like buying a Whopper at Burger King and getting a milkshake instead.)

Speaking of "These Fucking Guys," Arizona state lawmakers have passed a bill to make sure only AMERICANS make it on their election ballots. Fair enough...they're a border state and want to make sure an illegal immigrant doesn't come across the border and do a politician's job for less money (though I DO like that idea). So who are they targeting with this bill? Let's see...PRESIDENT OBAMA? These fucking guys. The bill would require anyone who wants on ballots for president in Arizona to present a birth certificate to prove they were born in the U.S. of A. That's an issue that the GOP has brought up, claiming Obama was not born in the U.S. Ummm...okay. Really, Arizona? Well, this should be simple enough to solve. All Hawaii has to do is keep sending out copies of Obama's birth certifi...WHAT?? Apparently the Hawaii state legislature voted to IGNORE requests for copies of Obama's birth certificate! (although, I'm sure they'd make an exception in the case of Arizona's ballots) Seriously??? Are there THAT many people out there who think Obama WASN'T born here??? Well, there were 58 million people who voted against him... that'd be a lot of stamps.

You know what I hope to be on one day? Wheel of Fortune. Especially if THIS is my competition:



Seriously, TWO of them couldn't figure it out??? By the way, you can find six other AWESOME Wheel Fails at this link.

Hey, you know what NOT to do when there are live nude performers at the Museum of Metropolitan Art in New York? Touch them! One performer told the the New York Times that an elderly man rubbed his ribs and then touched his backside. "As he was passing me he looked me in the eyes and said 'You feel good, man.'" The performer alerted a security guard and the man was escorted out, his 30-year membership of the museum revoked. Y'know, that reminds me of someone on one of my favorite TV shows:



While we're on the subject of animated humor, let's talk about South Park's recent 200th and 201st episodes...and why some muslims REALLY need a sense of humor:

The Daily Show With Jon StewartMon - Thurs 11p / 10c
South Park Death Threats
www.thedailyshow.com
Daily Show Full EpisodesPolitical HumorTea Party


It's a Daily Show Trifecta! Hey, everyone that pisses me off at work? "Gooooooo Fuuuuuuuuuucccccckkkkkk Yourselfffffffffffffffffffffffff."

-B-

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