Welcome To Bizarro World

Thinking Hard will begin in just a moment, but first, a 23-hour special on where Lebron "If I Wish Hard Enough To Be King, I Will Be" James is playing next season for the NBA. It's the Miami Heat...now enjoy 22 hours and 58 minutes of footage from every single game James has played and his yearbook photo. Seriously, ESPN? You aired an hour-long special about where James would play next season? He's NOT Michael Jordan! He's NEVER going to be "like Mike." In fact, the only reason he's so revered in Cleveland as a "sports icon" is because Cleveland doesn't have SHIT for sports! Oh, wait, I'm sorry...apparently the Cleveland Indians have qualified this year for the big-boy table and will be playing in major league baseball...wait, I'm being told they HAVE been playing major league baseball...huh. Bonus points to the first person who can name an Indians player without using Google. In fact, the day before Lebron's "big announcement," a "story" "broke" that he opened his new Twitter account. Sports writer Mitch Albom (known perhaps best for stories that make me bawl like a baby, like "Tuesdays with Morrie" and "The Five People You Meet in Heaven") wrote: "Note to journalism students: when we celebrate investigative reporting, it's for issues like war crimes, nursing home scandals or police corruption. It's not to report that LeBron James has opened a Twitter account. But that was a 'major' headline Wednesday. And James' first Tweet was 'Hello World, the Real King James is in the Building Finally.' Honestly, who calls himself 'King'?" So, on behalf of all of us here at Thinking Hard...Lebron James, fuck you.

Now that I have THAT rant out of the way, I need to post another (bear with me)...Lindsay Lohan's going to jail. Ninety days for violating her probation. Ms. Lohan broke down in tears in the courtroom when she found out the actual CONSEQUENCES of her actions. Careful, LiLo, you're gonna melt your face. But at least you got your lesbian practice in with Samantha Ronson so you're ready for "Pat" in Cell Block A.

Hey, remember last week's blog when I wrote the New York Post was reporting Jay Leno has been bleeding NBC dry since his "triumphant return" to The Tonight Show? It gets better...Emmy nominations came out this week. Nominated: "The Tonight Show with Conan O'Brien." Not nominated: anything Jay Leno has done in the past year...that includes TWO shows. Maybe nice guys DO finish first...

Let's take a moment to talk current events. I want to update you on a very serious debate taking place right now in Arizona:

The Daily Show With Jon Stewart	Mon - Thurs 11p / 10c
Latino 911!
www.thedailyshow.com
Daily Show Full Episodes Political Humor Tea Party

The Daily Show With Jon Stewart	Mon - Thurs 11p / 10c
Arizona's Photo Radar
www.thedailyshow.com
Daily Show Full Episodes Political Humor Tea Party

I wanted to give The Daily Show a double-shout-out today for two reasons: I needed to fill space; and the show has come under fire this week. The blog Jezebel.com put up a post recently that suggested there's some sexism at the show. Someone at the blog reportedly spoke to several former female staffers. So, in an open letter, 32 female producers, writers and production assistants wrote that the post was absolutely false and they are not mistreated. Now, I'm not saying the sexism doesn't exist there...I don't know. It might only be that certain women were targeted. I'm just here to report the facts. Also, I don't know that the show did itself any anti-sexism favors by hiring the curvy and young Olivia Munn. Yes, she's viewed as a sex symbol in the geek world. So, Daily Show, to quote a popular segment you occasionally run..."You're Not Helping!"

Hey, there's a new movie coming to theaters soon...it's called...let's see...oh, here it is..."Avatar." Wait, WHAT?! Yes, that's right. Due to what James Cameron calls "popular demand" (dammit, Pasquarella, STOP EMAILING HIM!), he's re-releasing the film with a BONUS EIGHT MINUTES of creature and battle content! Be sure to see the movie for that extra flying thing you didn't even notice was missing in the first movie...and keep your eyes peeled for an epic battle between Generic Army Guys #32-36 and Generic Alien Guys #54, 62 and 3. OH MY GWAD YOU GUYS!

You know what I enjoy? When graphic novels are made into movies. Now, generally, they're not very good. I went to "Watchmen" and while it DID stay spot-on with the source material, it was just as long. I could've sat in the theater and read the damn thing and been through it before the movie was done. But there's an unusual trend lately of turning book (ACTUAL books) into graphic novels (I believe that's called "lazy reading"). They did it recently with the "I'm told it's funny" novel "Pride and Prejudice and Zombies" (it's exactly what you think it is) and NOW they're making a graphic novel adaptation of "The Diary of Anne Frank." Now, I've read the story AND seen the play. But a graphic novel? REALLY? Are we going to give THAT to the kids to read in class? Wait, wait...does she fight zombies?

With that, Thinking Hard is going on vacation. See you next week!
-B-