Why do all the hard thinking yourself? Leave it up to Andy and Blaine!
Sunday, August 12, 2012
Really? That's The Running Mate You're Going With?
It's the changing of the season, Hard Thinkers. We've gone from Olympic-palooza to Lolla-Politic-a. The summer games officially end today. And to mark the occasion, Mitt Romney named his running mate yesterday. It's Wisconsin congressman Paul Ryan. You might know him as the really young looking guy in Congress who won't stop bitching about President Obama's policies. So, y'know, there's that. Plus side: at least we don't have another Sarah Palin VP candidate on our hands. Remember that chick? She was so DUMB...
Anyway, yes, the Olympics are drawing to a close. And you know who's paying the price for the coverage? People working on late newscasts at NBC affiliates. The coverage has been going into the wee morning hours since it's scheduled to go until NBC gets bored and decides to let the affiliates do their thing. I'm sure some of the affiliates are bummed about having to stay late, but you, as a viewer, rarely hear about it...until now:
Y'know, with the state of sports being cut on many local newscasts, that guy really ought to stop bitching and be glad he's getting a paycheck. Otherwise, his elderly butt would have been in bed 8 hours ago. Wait, maybe THAT'S why he's so cranky...
Speaking of cranky, let's talk babies. More specifically, let's talk the number of people who can't help putting their babies' security at risk by posting photos of EVERY SINGLE THING their children do on Facebook, Twitter, Twitbook, etc. For those of you who are sick of it, might I recommend an awesome new app for your computers (essentially, for the Google Chrome browser) called unbaby.me. The app will remove all (or at least MOST...this IS technology we're talking about) the baby pictures that come up in your browser and replace them with something AWESOME, like bacon or sloths. You pick it. Actually, if I could see a picture of a baby wrapped in bacon, I'd be okay with it.
And now, this week's moment of "Why Reporters and Photographers Deserve Hazard Pay"...
What? Those greasy fuckers assaulted someone trying to show their shady business practices? I'm SHOCKED. Also: thanks for living up to your stereotype, guys.
Greatest PR idea of the week: free vibrators. Trojan (y'know, the condom folks) set up HOT DOG CARTS in New York City this week to give out 10,000 free vibrators (that woman is going to be VERY happy...oh, wait, I'm being told it was only 5 to a customer...). That is, until New York City stopped the party. One quote I read this week went something like "Mayor Bloomberg doesn't want us to have large soft drinks, he doesn't want us to have vibrators, he wants to take away our fun." Or something close to that. So, for our new sponsor, Trojan, here's the AD for the VIBRATORS (I can't believe this is really a thing)...
And now, perhaps one of my favorite moments from the Olympics. It's from the basketball competition, where it appears players from foreign countries are just plain SICK of losing to Carmelo Anthony and the rest of Team USA:
A reminder to players...you must now protect THREE BALLS while you play on the court. Also, speaking of taking shots at the junk...
And I saved some of the best clips for last. Of course you remember the Chick-Fil-A debacle. Well, this is a good reminder that every asshole has an opinion, and assholes and the internet DON'T mix:
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