So I broke down this week and set up a Twitter account for work. I don't post, only follow the major news sources (CNN, ABC, etc.) so I don't miss out on any breaking news. My boss convinced me it'd be a good idea. It's not. First, I don't post, so don't try to find and follow me. Second, I had two followers within my first 24 hours of signing up...again, I don't post, so don't try to find and follow me. Apologies to "100 Black Men" for the block. Third, CNN was showing some a major traffic pile-up in St. Louis this week (live, of course) because of slick roads. SIX HOURS after they put the shot up, they ran the tweet "20 car pile-up in St. Louis LIVE"...and as soon as that tweet posted, CNN shut down the shot. Twitter fail. On every level, Twitter fail.
Before I lose track of where I am, welcome back to Thinking Hard. It's been a rather odd week. Not the least of which is finding out a potential reason Borders is failing. I went in Friday to buy a book that's listed as "likely in store" on the store website. When I asked a store clerk where to find it, he said they'd only received one copy of it...and a store employee had CHECKED IT OUT! LIKE IN A LIBRARY! Look, if I can't sit down and read the whole book in the aisles without buying the book, your employees shouldn't be able to either. Give them a discount, but don't take an item for sale out of the store. I'm aware that GameStop (video game store) employees enjoy a similar luxury. I'm also not cool with that.
My rant continues...with a healthy Sheen to it. Yes, in case you haven't been following the headlines in the last few days, Charlie Sheen has forced the shutdown of his own CBS show, "Two and a Half Men." Jon Cryer's gotta be slapping himself in the forehead, thinking "WHY? WHY did I believe my agent when he said a TV show with Charlie Sheen would be a good career move? I'd rather go shoot a sequel to a Molly Ringwald movie! Any of them!" So Sheen called into a radio show this week and badmouthed the producer of the show. AND made himself look insane. Check out part of the ranting letter that TMZ got a hold of from Sheen:
I fire back once and this contaminated little maggot can’t handle my power and can’t handle the truth. I wish him nothing but pain in his silly travels, especially if they wind up in my octagon. Clearly I have defeated this earthworm with my words – imagine what I would have done with my fire breathing fists.
Then, as if he hadn't done enough, he went off on the PRESIDENT OF CBS on Friday. Man, when Sheen goes down, he goes down in a blaze of glory. Oh, and he recently told Lindsay Lohan to amp it down. Yes, THAT Charlie Sheen, in the same breath as his fire-breathing insanity, told Lindsay Lohan to bring it down a few notches. Can I get an order of self-awareness at Table 2 1/2 please???
While I'm on the subject of insanity, how about what happened on NBC's Today show this week? While the anchors were outside setting up the stories of the next half-hour, some lunatic hopped the barrier and claimed he was God's gift to music. What's even MORE insane was Ann Curry's response from INDOORS:
Yes, Ann Curry, you jumped in and saved the show. You're a hero...if for a moment the word "hero" means "dolt."
Also in the category of "Insane People On TV," some jackass in Oklahoma tried to steal from a hardware store this week...and he would've gotten away with it too, if it weren't for the meddling CHAINSAW he tried to shove in his SHORTS! You know you're a dangerous criminal when employees who see you in the store say (I shit you not) "I felt sorry for him, I thought the gentleman was crippled." I didn't figure out if that person meant MENTALLY or PHYSICALLY crippled.
Let's not kid ourselves, though...there are some REALLY stupid people out there (mostly living in the mountains of North Carolina). Take the parents of a teenage student in Florida. This week, they took what they saw as a final resort to get their son to learn...humiliated him. They made him stand on the street with a sign that read "GPA 1.22 ... honk if I need education" for several hours. If I may pose a suggestion: wouldn't that time have been better spent STUDYING????
Has the world gone INSANE??? If only there was something to calm me down...
Ahhhh, that's the stuff. March Madness is coming...
-B-
Sunday, February 27, 2011
Sunday, February 20, 2011
I, For One, Would Like To Welcome Our Computer Overlords
More on Watson, the IBM computer, kicking the tar out of two Jeopardy champions in a moment. First, let's start Thinking Hard right with congratulations to one-half of the "My Two Dads" of this blog. After spending a few years in Peru, Andy has returned to the States...and has been hired back into the TV news producer fold! Some might think he's crazy for getting BACK into TV, but once the bug hits you, you're infected for life. So, congratulations Andy! You can still go read of his exploits from his time in Peru (and some absolutely breathtaking photos) under "Gringo in Peru" in our "Friends of the Show."
I also want to address something serious. More than a week ago, crowds of egyptians celebrated the downfall of Hosni Mubarak. Many TV networks sent reporters to cover the crowds and, as is part of the job, those reporters and their crews went right in the thick of the mobs. CBS reporter Lara Logan might not have such great memories of the historic day, however. It came out this week that Logan became separated from her crew...and the revellers punched her and sexually assaulted her. Soldiers and egyptian women finally came to her aid, but surely not before she suffered a lot of physical and emotional trauma. Even though I sit behind a desk in a safe, windowless newsroom, I am aware of the risks that all reporters and photographers face any time they're sent into the field to cover a story. They're usually just "this close" from become part of the story. And on the national and international level, many reporters seem to defy death or serious injury as they earn their sometimes-paltry TV salaries. Other reporters have not been so lucky to survive. For every Lara Logan or Bob Woodruff, there are countless other reporters, writers, photographers...all embedded in the danger zone with a constant concern for personal safety. Daniel Pearl is one of the most notable cases in recent history...he was a bureau chief for the Wall Street Journal and was kidnapped and killed by al-Qaeda following 9/11. To Ms. Logan and the other reporters who put their lives in the line of fire for the sake of free press and information...please be careful out there.
While protests against tyrannical leaders grip the world, some people are focusing on a different "travesty"...Justin Bieber's loss at the Grammys. Wait, WHAT? Surely I'm not reading this correctly...I'm being told I AM reading this correctly. It turns out "The Beeb" lost the Best New Artist Grammy last week to jazz singer Esperanza Spalding. Instead of taking the loss in stride, The Beeb's young (and stupid, stupid) fans took to the internet. Nope, not Facebook. Also, not Twitter. They went into Spalding's Wikipedia page and made notes in the entry that she won the award "by stealing it from Justin Bieber." Another person edited the entry to say "GO DIE IN A HOLE…WHO THE HECK ARE YOU ANYWAY?" Little harsh, don't you think? I mean, the Bieber bio-flick "Never Say Never" also came in second place last weekend to Adam Sandler's latest drivel. But you don't see the fans going after Adam Sandler, whose "talent" as of late is a bit questionable ("Grown-Ups," anyone?). Hell, Eminem lost a major Grammy to country group Lady Antebellum, but you don't see HIS fans calling for the band to go Ante-belly-up! And these are EMINEM FANS we're talking about! I'm GIVING EMINEM'S FANS CREDIT FOR NOT GIVING OUT DEATH THREATS, UNLIKE A BUNCH OF GIRLS WHO HAVE FEWER DADDY ISSUES THAN EMINEM HAS MOMMY ISSUES! Oh my God, get a hobby! So, in a moment of "Go Fuck Yourselves, Bieber Fans," here's a look at the Best New Artist of 2010...performing at the WHITE HOUSE...
While I'm on the subject of singers that need to be removed from the human race, Billy Ray Cyrus went all Igor this week, saying The Dr. Frankenstein..er, DISNEY Channel created a monster by signing his daughter (what's her name again?) to star in "Hannah Montana." He says the show destroyed his family. And that's saying something, coming from the guy who's best known (and ONLY known) for "Achy Breaky Heart."
As I'm thinking about monsters, check this out...a couple kayaking in a lake in Britain (not Loch Ness) was out kayaking and spotted what some say is the "cousin" of the Loch Ness Monster. It's one of the best pictures of the creature to date. Check it (it's the bumpy thing in the bottom right hand corner)...
One scientists believes it's just a larger-than-average catfish. Could be...catch it, feed a starving third-world nation.
Hey, Alvin Greene lost ANOTHER political race in South Carolina this week. He got 36 votes...or one-percent. Someday, someone will hear "Jim DeMint started the recession" and think "This guy should tour with Waka Flocka."
A sad week for book lovers...Borders declared bankruptcy. It's going to close about 200 stores. "Dear Borders, perhaps you wouldn't have to close if you didn't sell books that were misprinted right on the front cover...like this Batman graphic novel I bought this week. Can you pick out what word is missing?..."
Seriously, DC comics! You're in charge of TWO things...pictures and words! And you can't get WORDS right??? Least of all, you apparently have something against the word "of"!!! Well, DC, let me put this to you in terms you can understand: G- -uck yourselves. And can I put the next Batman book on reserve? Thanks.
Maybe a computer would have caught the error...like Watson, the genius, Jeopardy-winning computer:
Watson's pretty smart, with the exception of answering "Toronto" in a Final Jeopardy question about "U.S. Cities."
But technology can do some pretty amazing things. Take New York, for example. There's now an app that can help people find the nearest five venues to find free condoms in the city as part of a safe-sex campaign. Researchers are now working on an app that can help people find hookers within a three-block radius, with filters for price, role-playing, STDs (and the probability of contracting them)...and whether they have a little "surprise" in the front of their pants (if you're into that).
And now, another moment with "Simon's Cat"...
In today's moment with "Blaine's Cat," Blaine finds a crusty and crystallized section of cat piss in his coat closet. There will be no more moments with "Blaine's Cat."
Finally, I wanted to share with you all what I did last night. I went to a performance of "Video Games Live." A video game composer travels the nation and has local orchestras and choirs perform some of the most popular video game music ever. I can sense you pulling away from me, so here's a little taste...from "The Legend of Zelda":
Epic.
-B-
(Special director's commentary for today's blog:
"What?? Internet Explorer's CRASHING?? I must have too much video in. Dammit. I really wanted to show the reporter getting tased and the anchor laughing on-air at 'Crusty Buttocks.' Actually, now that I think of it, if I want to see anchors acting like retards, I'll watch my own show."
"Oh, but I REALLY wanted Eminem dropping the f-bomb at the Grammys! Ah well, I'm sure he'll do it again."
"Why is SIMON'S CAT taking forever to load on YouTube??? It's not even that much animation!!! And what's that smell? Smells like cat pee...")
I also want to address something serious. More than a week ago, crowds of egyptians celebrated the downfall of Hosni Mubarak. Many TV networks sent reporters to cover the crowds and, as is part of the job, those reporters and their crews went right in the thick of the mobs. CBS reporter Lara Logan might not have such great memories of the historic day, however. It came out this week that Logan became separated from her crew...and the revellers punched her and sexually assaulted her. Soldiers and egyptian women finally came to her aid, but surely not before she suffered a lot of physical and emotional trauma. Even though I sit behind a desk in a safe, windowless newsroom, I am aware of the risks that all reporters and photographers face any time they're sent into the field to cover a story. They're usually just "this close" from become part of the story. And on the national and international level, many reporters seem to defy death or serious injury as they earn their sometimes-paltry TV salaries. Other reporters have not been so lucky to survive. For every Lara Logan or Bob Woodruff, there are countless other reporters, writers, photographers...all embedded in the danger zone with a constant concern for personal safety. Daniel Pearl is one of the most notable cases in recent history...he was a bureau chief for the Wall Street Journal and was kidnapped and killed by al-Qaeda following 9/11. To Ms. Logan and the other reporters who put their lives in the line of fire for the sake of free press and information...please be careful out there.
While protests against tyrannical leaders grip the world, some people are focusing on a different "travesty"...Justin Bieber's loss at the Grammys. Wait, WHAT? Surely I'm not reading this correctly...I'm being told I AM reading this correctly. It turns out "The Beeb" lost the Best New Artist Grammy last week to jazz singer Esperanza Spalding. Instead of taking the loss in stride, The Beeb's young (and stupid, stupid) fans took to the internet. Nope, not Facebook. Also, not Twitter. They went into Spalding's Wikipedia page and made notes in the entry that she won the award "by stealing it from Justin Bieber." Another person edited the entry to say "GO DIE IN A HOLE…WHO THE HECK ARE YOU ANYWAY?" Little harsh, don't you think? I mean, the Bieber bio-flick "Never Say Never" also came in second place last weekend to Adam Sandler's latest drivel. But you don't see the fans going after Adam Sandler, whose "talent" as of late is a bit questionable ("Grown-Ups," anyone?). Hell, Eminem lost a major Grammy to country group Lady Antebellum, but you don't see HIS fans calling for the band to go Ante-belly-up! And these are EMINEM FANS we're talking about! I'm GIVING EMINEM'S FANS CREDIT FOR NOT GIVING OUT DEATH THREATS, UNLIKE A BUNCH OF GIRLS WHO HAVE FEWER DADDY ISSUES THAN EMINEM HAS MOMMY ISSUES! Oh my God, get a hobby! So, in a moment of "Go Fuck Yourselves, Bieber Fans," here's a look at the Best New Artist of 2010...performing at the WHITE HOUSE...
While I'm on the subject of singers that need to be removed from the human race, Billy Ray Cyrus went all Igor this week, saying The Dr. Frankenstein..er, DISNEY Channel created a monster by signing his daughter (what's her name again?) to star in "Hannah Montana." He says the show destroyed his family. And that's saying something, coming from the guy who's best known (and ONLY known) for "Achy Breaky Heart."
As I'm thinking about monsters, check this out...a couple kayaking in a lake in Britain (not Loch Ness) was out kayaking and spotted what some say is the "cousin" of the Loch Ness Monster. It's one of the best pictures of the creature to date. Check it (it's the bumpy thing in the bottom right hand corner)...
One scientists believes it's just a larger-than-average catfish. Could be...catch it, feed a starving third-world nation.
Hey, Alvin Greene lost ANOTHER political race in South Carolina this week. He got 36 votes...or one-percent. Someday, someone will hear "Jim DeMint started the recession" and think "This guy should tour with Waka Flocka."
A sad week for book lovers...Borders declared bankruptcy. It's going to close about 200 stores. "Dear Borders, perhaps you wouldn't have to close if you didn't sell books that were misprinted right on the front cover...like this Batman graphic novel I bought this week. Can you pick out what word is missing?..."
Seriously, DC comics! You're in charge of TWO things...pictures and words! And you can't get WORDS right??? Least of all, you apparently have something against the word "of"!!! Well, DC, let me put this to you in terms you can understand: G- -uck yourselves. And can I put the next Batman book on reserve? Thanks.
Maybe a computer would have caught the error...like Watson, the genius, Jeopardy-winning computer:
| The Daily Show With Jon Stewart | Mon - Thurs 11p / 10c | |||
| Intro - Watson Competes on Jeopardy | ||||
| ||||
Watson's pretty smart, with the exception of answering "Toronto" in a Final Jeopardy question about "U.S. Cities."
But technology can do some pretty amazing things. Take New York, for example. There's now an app that can help people find the nearest five venues to find free condoms in the city as part of a safe-sex campaign. Researchers are now working on an app that can help people find hookers within a three-block radius, with filters for price, role-playing, STDs (and the probability of contracting them)...and whether they have a little "surprise" in the front of their pants (if you're into that).
And now, another moment with "Simon's Cat"...
In today's moment with "Blaine's Cat," Blaine finds a crusty and crystallized section of cat piss in his coat closet. There will be no more moments with "Blaine's Cat."
Finally, I wanted to share with you all what I did last night. I went to a performance of "Video Games Live." A video game composer travels the nation and has local orchestras and choirs perform some of the most popular video game music ever. I can sense you pulling away from me, so here's a little taste...from "The Legend of Zelda":
Epic.
-B-
(Special director's commentary for today's blog:
"What?? Internet Explorer's CRASHING?? I must have too much video in. Dammit. I really wanted to show the reporter getting tased and the anchor laughing on-air at 'Crusty Buttocks.' Actually, now that I think of it, if I want to see anchors acting like retards, I'll watch my own show."
"Oh, but I REALLY wanted Eminem dropping the f-bomb at the Grammys! Ah well, I'm sure he'll do it again."
"Why is SIMON'S CAT taking forever to load on YouTube??? It's not even that much animation!!! And what's that smell? Smells like cat pee...")
Sunday, February 13, 2011
Introducing Our New Intern...Intern Hosni
We here at Thinking Hard would like to welcome our newest intern. We asked for his resume, but he scoffed at us and walked right into the manager's office. We haven't gotten him to move since. He keeps thanking us for the support we're giving him...but we're actually telling him to leave. Perhaps there's a language barrier. We also can't ascertain what his prior position was...we'd like to call his previous employer to see if this is an ongoing problem. But regardless, welcome Intern Hosni. He's also spent the last several hours telling us how awesome things have been in Egypt for the past 30 years. We're working to translate "Dude, we don't care" into his native tongue.
A quick update from last week's Blog-a-palooza...remember the anchor from KPRC, Owen Conflenti, who was caught only on HD sticking his middle finger up at someone in the studio? He gave a brief apology to the Houston Chronicle, saying "I’m sorry to everyone for my offensive gesture on television last week. My actions were careless and unprofessional. I can assure my viewers it will never happen again.” He went on to say "What's HD again?" Seriously, I'm glad an anchor in a large market can humble himself and admit when he's done something that makes him look like a huge boob on live TV instead of trying to blame it on some producer. I wonder if he's looking for a job in Charlotte...
And now, a new segment on Thinking Hard...Simon's Cat. Intern Holly was kind enough to show us a selection of animated shorts on YouTube that are simple and humorous...especially for people who own cats. For those of you who don't, you might find this cute. You might also appreciate the simplistic animation style. Or you might not care at all...which breaks Intern Holly's heart. And is that something you REALLY want to do so close to Valentine's Day??? You monster!...
Live well.
-B-
A quick update from last week's Blog-a-palooza...remember the anchor from KPRC, Owen Conflenti, who was caught only on HD sticking his middle finger up at someone in the studio? He gave a brief apology to the Houston Chronicle, saying "I’m sorry to everyone for my offensive gesture on television last week. My actions were careless and unprofessional. I can assure my viewers it will never happen again.” He went on to say "What's HD again?" Seriously, I'm glad an anchor in a large market can humble himself and admit when he's done something that makes him look like a huge boob on live TV instead of trying to blame it on some producer. I wonder if he's looking for a job in Charlotte...
And now, a new segment on Thinking Hard...Simon's Cat. Intern Holly was kind enough to show us a selection of animated shorts on YouTube that are simple and humorous...especially for people who own cats. For those of you who don't, you might find this cute. You might also appreciate the simplistic animation style. Or you might not care at all...which breaks Intern Holly's heart. And is that something you REALLY want to do so close to Valentine's Day??? You monster!...
Live well.
-B-
Sunday, February 6, 2011
Don't They Know The Cameras Are Rolling???
Y'know, for as many stupid people I see waving at cameras at breaking news stories or even behind the set of the unnecessary fourth hour of NBC's Today show, I'm CONTINUOUSLY amazed by the number of people who KNOW there's a camera there and yet seem oblivious to the fact that it's turned on. Now, don't get me wrong... there are some errors, flubs, etc. that never make it to the airwaves, thanks to the watchful eyes of producers and directors (you all know you're awesome) who stop things like "Super Bowel" from appearing on the screen. But there are always OTHERS who don't seem to catch themselves. This blog is dedicated to them.
Let's start in Chicago, where there's a big race for mayor underway. When I say Rahm Emanuel is in the running and there have been some rather...um..."colorful" comments in the campaign, you might assume I'm referring to Rahm. No. I'm not even referring to the MEN in the race...are you ready for a CATFIGHT:
Hm...a crackwhore for mayor. I can get behind that idea. Speaking of white stuff and mudslinging, did you know there was a huge-ass winter storm across a good chunk of the nation this week? For the first time in twelve years, it was bad enough to force Chicago to close its schools! TWELVE YEARS! Compared to the mountain counties in North Carolina, those kids have already earned TWO Ph.D.s! In fact, here's a NASA satellite look at the storm:
Pretty cool, right? If you're not meteorologically (that's such a hard word for anchors to say!) inclined, Intern James was able to find this dumbed-down version of the storm:
So obviously it sucks being a reporter or meteorologist having to go outside and do their jobs and cover this storm. That's a job that has certain drawbacks:
To be fair, he wasn't so upset about the salty spray as he was about not getting a courtesy tap on the top of his head. But at least he knew he was ON AIR. Not like the school superintendent in New England:
Who doesn't love a good F-bomb on live TV?
Then there are the situations when graphics are CLEARLY wrong. Take this shot from The Daily Show this week. I'm going on record that I LOVE Jon Stewart and the crew at the show. They do endless hours of fact-checking, but something about this clip from CNN's most recent New Year's Eve coverage seems...off. Take a close look at the date listed in the upper left hand corner:
3...2...1...Happy New Month! Or how about this shot from the new Cartoon Network/DC Comics series "Young Justice." Obviously, Cartoon Network has basically said "Fuck It" to offering anything instructional:
A quick check on Google will tell you the word is CARIBBEAN...1 R, 2 Bs. Not the other way around. But hey, if you THINK it's right, it MUST be. Y'know, with mistakes like that on children's TV, it's no wonder kids are playing video games and not paying attention which train they're falling in front of:
That happened in Milan, Italy, this week. Good thing that the off-duty policeman was able to jump in and grab the boy before anything happened to him.
I want to take a moment and go back to The Daily Show. They did great coverage of a woman who always LOOKS like she knows the camera's on...but never quite SOUNDS like it:
Besides, she can see Russia from her backyard. She communicates with her handlers using flashlight-morse code...and even the RUSSIANS think she sounds like an idiot.
One more hit today...and it has to do with anchors adapting to the "new" high-definition technology. You might recall the old days of standard-def, when you could only see a small portion of TV...then high-def came along and expanded the left and right sides of the screen to show more content. Somebody should draw the lines on the set for THIS guy...this one's just for you HD viewers!:
(Funny story...the TV station pulled all remnants of the video version of this off YouTube, but didn't get a hold of still pictures on smaller websites...like Thinking Hard. Some days, it PAYS to be the little guy.)
Keep it classy!
-B-
Let's start in Chicago, where there's a big race for mayor underway. When I say Rahm Emanuel is in the running and there have been some rather...um..."colorful" comments in the campaign, you might assume I'm referring to Rahm. No. I'm not even referring to the MEN in the race...are you ready for a CATFIGHT:
Hm...a crackwhore for mayor. I can get behind that idea. Speaking of white stuff and mudslinging, did you know there was a huge-ass winter storm across a good chunk of the nation this week? For the first time in twelve years, it was bad enough to force Chicago to close its schools! TWELVE YEARS! Compared to the mountain counties in North Carolina, those kids have already earned TWO Ph.D.s! In fact, here's a NASA satellite look at the storm:
Pretty cool, right? If you're not meteorologically (that's such a hard word for anchors to say!) inclined, Intern James was able to find this dumbed-down version of the storm:
So obviously it sucks being a reporter or meteorologist having to go outside and do their jobs and cover this storm. That's a job that has certain drawbacks:
To be fair, he wasn't so upset about the salty spray as he was about not getting a courtesy tap on the top of his head. But at least he knew he was ON AIR. Not like the school superintendent in New England:
| The Daily Show With Jon Stewart | Mon - Thurs 11p / 10c | |||
| Moment of Zen - James Molinaro Phone Call | ||||
| ||||
Who doesn't love a good F-bomb on live TV?
Then there are the situations when graphics are CLEARLY wrong. Take this shot from The Daily Show this week. I'm going on record that I LOVE Jon Stewart and the crew at the show. They do endless hours of fact-checking, but something about this clip from CNN's most recent New Year's Eve coverage seems...off. Take a close look at the date listed in the upper left hand corner:
3...2...1...Happy New Month! Or how about this shot from the new Cartoon Network/DC Comics series "Young Justice." Obviously, Cartoon Network has basically said "Fuck It" to offering anything instructional:
A quick check on Google will tell you the word is CARIBBEAN...1 R, 2 Bs. Not the other way around. But hey, if you THINK it's right, it MUST be. Y'know, with mistakes like that on children's TV, it's no wonder kids are playing video games and not paying attention which train they're falling in front of:
That happened in Milan, Italy, this week. Good thing that the off-duty policeman was able to jump in and grab the boy before anything happened to him.
I want to take a moment and go back to The Daily Show. They did great coverage of a woman who always LOOKS like she knows the camera's on...but never quite SOUNDS like it:
| The Daily Show With Jon Stewart | Mon - Thurs 11p / 10c | |||
| From Russia With Gov | ||||
| ||||
Besides, she can see Russia from her backyard. She communicates with her handlers using flashlight-morse code...and even the RUSSIANS think she sounds like an idiot.
One more hit today...and it has to do with anchors adapting to the "new" high-definition technology. You might recall the old days of standard-def, when you could only see a small portion of TV...then high-def came along and expanded the left and right sides of the screen to show more content. Somebody should draw the lines on the set for THIS guy...this one's just for you HD viewers!:
(Funny story...the TV station pulled all remnants of the video version of this off YouTube, but didn't get a hold of still pictures on smaller websites...like Thinking Hard. Some days, it PAYS to be the little guy.)
Keep it classy!
-B-
Sunday, January 30, 2011
Let's Make This Quick..."Skins" Is On
Today's Thinking Hard is brought to you by THIS guy:
That's the FORMER Fox Charlotte guy who got knocked down by his producer last week. Since the last installment of Thinking Hard, both he and the producer have been charged with a misdemeanor AND both have been canned. I side with the producer, but I understand the company had to let both guys go. You can't have that resentment festering in a newsroom. However, if I may speak for a moment to the bosses over at Fox...next time, make sure you have warm bodies to step in when you fire your on-air "talent." At the printing of this post, the station had THREE news-readers on its morning show...and only ONE ANCHOR for all seven days of its evening broadcasts. Now THAT'S must-see TV.
Also, a quick note from a TV station in Hartford, Connecticut, and a cautionary tale about viral petitions gone wrong... WTNH decided not to renew the contract of its veteran meteorologist, who had worked at the station for 26 years. They were going to let him ride out the rest of his contract and work through the end of February. So, 10,000+ people signed a Facebook petition to keep him on the air. The station's response? Managers decided to let him go EARLIER! They said they didn't want all the attention that the Facebook petition had wraught. Ah, social media...is there no career you can't end?
Hey, the Super Bowl is set. The Green Bay Packers are in the big game, as well as THIS team:
That's from the CBS station in Louisville, KY. I miss Louisville. Anyway, so the Pack will be concentrating on stopping the Jews at the Super Bowl...er, wait, no, that's not right. Well, it's gonna be a "Heil" of a game...um, no...can I get a better writer in here? This dude looks like Hitler.
You know, this is a perfect moment for Jon Stewart to step in...
Of course, Fox HAS to have the last word...or at least it TRIED to...
And while we're on the subject of Fox News, it reminds me that the Hottest Mess Tournament is coming up. And that reminds me of one of the tournament favorites over the past couple of years, Sarah "Don't Test Me...I'm Just Crazy Enough To Run For President In 2012!" Palin. For as much as I rip on the Tea Party for supporting her, it's nice to see she's getting some mainstream attention again. Take it away, "30 Rock's" Tracy Morgan:
Can't tell if Palin was flattered or not, but I think I just found a reason to start a MEN'S bracket this year...
FREE EGYPT! AND PESHAWAR!
-B-
That's the FORMER Fox Charlotte guy who got knocked down by his producer last week. Since the last installment of Thinking Hard, both he and the producer have been charged with a misdemeanor AND both have been canned. I side with the producer, but I understand the company had to let both guys go. You can't have that resentment festering in a newsroom. However, if I may speak for a moment to the bosses over at Fox...next time, make sure you have warm bodies to step in when you fire your on-air "talent." At the printing of this post, the station had THREE news-readers on its morning show...and only ONE ANCHOR for all seven days of its evening broadcasts. Now THAT'S must-see TV.
Also, a quick note from a TV station in Hartford, Connecticut, and a cautionary tale about viral petitions gone wrong... WTNH decided not to renew the contract of its veteran meteorologist, who had worked at the station for 26 years. They were going to let him ride out the rest of his contract and work through the end of February. So, 10,000+ people signed a Facebook petition to keep him on the air. The station's response? Managers decided to let him go EARLIER! They said they didn't want all the attention that the Facebook petition had wraught. Ah, social media...is there no career you can't end?
Hey, the Super Bowl is set. The Green Bay Packers are in the big game, as well as THIS team:
That's from the CBS station in Louisville, KY. I miss Louisville. Anyway, so the Pack will be concentrating on stopping the Jews at the Super Bowl...er, wait, no, that's not right. Well, it's gonna be a "Heil" of a game...um, no...can I get a better writer in here? This dude looks like Hitler.
You know, this is a perfect moment for Jon Stewart to step in...
| The Daily Show With Jon Stewart | Mon - Thurs 11p / 10c | |||
| 24 Hour Nazi Party People | ||||
| ||||
Of course, Fox HAS to have the last word...or at least it TRIED to...
| The Daily Show With Jon Stewart | Mon - Thurs 11p / 10c | |||
| Bill O'Reilly Defends His Nazi Analogies | ||||
| ||||
And while we're on the subject of Fox News, it reminds me that the Hottest Mess Tournament is coming up. And that reminds me of one of the tournament favorites over the past couple of years, Sarah "Don't Test Me...I'm Just Crazy Enough To Run For President In 2012!" Palin. For as much as I rip on the Tea Party for supporting her, it's nice to see she's getting some mainstream attention again. Take it away, "30 Rock's" Tracy Morgan:
Can't tell if Palin was flattered or not, but I think I just found a reason to start a MEN'S bracket this year...
FREE EGYPT! AND PESHAWAR!
-B-
Sunday, January 23, 2011
Apparently "Dump" Is An Offensive Word
Hey, welcome back to the blog. We've been following a major news story this week...check that: a major newsROOM story. A douche-y local Fox anchor got KNOCKED THE FUCK OUT by a producer in their newsroom this week. Apparently, the anchor had been telling the management about things the producer was writing about the management on his Facebook page. When confronted, the anchor stood his ground and pulled the glasses off the producer's face...then hilarity ensued as that producer KICKED THE SHIT OUT OF THE ANCHOR IN THE NEWSROOM! The anchor claims he got a nose injury by tripping over a desk during the fight and that he and the producer are "buddies again." Riiiight. You guys can relive your good times together in the unemployment line. Why is it there are so many anchors who feel they have to brown-nose so much? Seriously. The postings on the Facebook page were just frustrated rants and saying "Hey, do you know what this guy's been writing about you on a Facebook page that no one else gives a shit about" to the management is just a dick move. And while the producer probably shouldn't have hit the anchor (maybe...possibly...okay, he SHOULD HAVE FUCKING LEVELED HIM), I'm pretty sure that anchor had it coming and that no one felt sorry for him. So, remember kids, be careful who you "friend" on Facebook and be careful of what you put on the internet. The open spaces of the world wide web probably aren't the safest spots to write about managers who think "Everybody Poops" but not everyone can "take a dump."
Speaking of shitty jobs, did anyone catch last weekend's Miss America "pageant"? Yeah, me neither. But you know the pageant's question-and-answer competition is GREAT for soundbites every year. Here's what this year's winner, Miss Nebraska Teresa Scanlan, responded when, in a question regarding WikiLeaks, she was asked how to balance the public's right to know with the need for government security:
"You know, when it came to that situation, it was actually based on espionage, and when it comes to the security of our nation, we have to focus on security first, and then people's right to know. Because it's so important that everyone in our borders is safe, and so we can't let things like that happen, and they must be handled properly, and I think that was the case."
Y'know, I think that actually would have had MORE of a point if she started talking about teaching and using "maps and such" in third-world countries.
Check THIS out...talk show host and Slim Jim fanatic (but only if it's charred with a cigarette lighter) Wendy Williams is going to host a "game show" on Game Show Network. It's called "Love Triangle" and it'll focus on one person using a lie detector to decide between two relationships. Dear Wendy...When describing an ACTUAL triangle, please remember it's a figure that has THREE SIDES. Seriously, Game Show Network, what the hell are you doing? This is as terrible a "game show" idea as that ridiculous show "Baggage" with Jerry Springer, where contestants would check out some single people with suitcases that reveal some emotional baggage they have. I like to think of it as "Deal-breaker or No Deal-breaker." But come ON, GSN! You are just one Valerie Bertinelli TV movie away from being the fourth Lifetime channel.
Oh, hey, breaking news! We just got home video in of the fight in the Fox newsroom! Here, we'll all watch it together for the first time:
Wait, no, I'm being told that's just home video of a guy playing the new motion-controller Kinect for the Xbox 360. The difference between the cat and the Fox anchor? None. They're both p***ies.
-B-
Speaking of shitty jobs, did anyone catch last weekend's Miss America "pageant"? Yeah, me neither. But you know the pageant's question-and-answer competition is GREAT for soundbites every year. Here's what this year's winner, Miss Nebraska Teresa Scanlan, responded when, in a question regarding WikiLeaks, she was asked how to balance the public's right to know with the need for government security:
"You know, when it came to that situation, it was actually based on espionage, and when it comes to the security of our nation, we have to focus on security first, and then people's right to know. Because it's so important that everyone in our borders is safe, and so we can't let things like that happen, and they must be handled properly, and I think that was the case."
Y'know, I think that actually would have had MORE of a point if she started talking about teaching and using "maps and such" in third-world countries.
Check THIS out...talk show host and Slim Jim fanatic (but only if it's charred with a cigarette lighter) Wendy Williams is going to host a "game show" on Game Show Network. It's called "Love Triangle" and it'll focus on one person using a lie detector to decide between two relationships. Dear Wendy...When describing an ACTUAL triangle, please remember it's a figure that has THREE SIDES. Seriously, Game Show Network, what the hell are you doing? This is as terrible a "game show" idea as that ridiculous show "Baggage" with Jerry Springer, where contestants would check out some single people with suitcases that reveal some emotional baggage they have. I like to think of it as "Deal-breaker or No Deal-breaker." But come ON, GSN! You are just one Valerie Bertinelli TV movie away from being the fourth Lifetime channel.
Oh, hey, breaking news! We just got home video in of the fight in the Fox newsroom! Here, we'll all watch it together for the first time:
Wait, no, I'm being told that's just home video of a guy playing the new motion-controller Kinect for the Xbox 360. The difference between the cat and the Fox anchor? None. They're both p***ies.
-B-
Sunday, January 16, 2011
Television Viewers Are Dumb
Let me rephrase that...the television viewers who think their opinion will impact what is shown on TV are dumb. Let's start at the top...this week, my area was bitch-slapped by Mother Nature like Snooki's mom should have slapped her. Snow...turning to freezing rain...turning to dangerously icy streets that STILL aren't completely clear almost a week later. Monday's news coverage? SnOMG storm coverage. Little else. This is the one time when I think the balls-to-the-wall storm tracker 8000 coverage was warranted, and I'm a tough sell. So you can imagine my surprise when a viewer sent an email complaining that there was too much snow coverage on and nothing about last weekend's shooting in Tucson that "involved an assassination attempt on a U.S. Representative." Um, two things...one, take a look outside your window. Which story impacts YOU DIRECTLY that morning? Two, I can't help but notice your email completely absent of a mention of anyone DYING in the shootings, including a NINE-YEAR-OLD GIRL BORN ON 9-11!!! Oh, you just happened to forget that? You're a fucking idiot. So are the bulk of the people who complain just to be an asshole. Perhaps my opinion could be better summed up by an anchor who's been on the air for years in Phoenix, Arizona (you know...Arizona...the state where the shootings actually happened). KPNX kept breaking into network programming to bring live, local updates on the shooting. Here's the problem: "network programming" just happened to be "football playoffs." So you KNOW a bunch of (sometimes drunken) assholes called into the KPNX newsroom to politely request that the station perhaps shorten the important coverage, possibly even being more strategic about when to potentially break in with the very-important news. I believe the calls went like this: "You *********s, I'm watchin' the ****** game! **** you!" So give it up to anchor Mark Curtis, who posted THIS on his Facebook page:
I love football as much as anybody. For goodness sakes I was a sportscaster for 25 years… but for people to call and bitch about coverage of todays shooting in Tucson interrupting their halftime hilites drives me CRAZY! 18 people were shot today including a U.S Congresswoman…and 6 were killed including a 9 year old…
Hells yes! It's those same fuckers who call upset that tornado coverage is keeping them from watching "Dancing with the B-listers." People...PRIORITIES!!! Get them straight!!! How important IS that touchdown versus having an actual idea about what's going on in the world around you? No wonder people think Sarah Palin's brilliant! They're not even WATCHING the news!
Although, to be fair, news coverage isn't entirely without its faults. Check out this awkwardly-worded headline from the Boston Herald website this week:
Wait, did the ax attack cause the son to "split"? I have a very bizarre mental image in my head.
I'll toss in one more and end my rant...for now. This is video of a Seattle TV station doing its early morning "stormcam" coverage of a winter storm. Traffic's light this time of morning...which is probably a good thing, considering the traffic sign that shows up when the truck turns onto a side street at about the :24 mark:
Did you see it? Here's what that sign says:
I'd use the word "fail" if it hadn't been banished.
-B-
I love football as much as anybody. For goodness sakes I was a sportscaster for 25 years… but for people to call and bitch about coverage of todays shooting in Tucson interrupting their halftime hilites drives me CRAZY! 18 people were shot today including a U.S Congresswoman…and 6 were killed including a 9 year old…
Hells yes! It's those same fuckers who call upset that tornado coverage is keeping them from watching "Dancing with the B-listers." People...PRIORITIES!!! Get them straight!!! How important IS that touchdown versus having an actual idea about what's going on in the world around you? No wonder people think Sarah Palin's brilliant! They're not even WATCHING the news!
Although, to be fair, news coverage isn't entirely without its faults. Check out this awkwardly-worded headline from the Boston Herald website this week:
Wait, did the ax attack cause the son to "split"? I have a very bizarre mental image in my head.
I'll toss in one more and end my rant...for now. This is video of a Seattle TV station doing its early morning "stormcam" coverage of a winter storm. Traffic's light this time of morning...which is probably a good thing, considering the traffic sign that shows up when the truck turns onto a side street at about the :24 mark:
Did you see it? Here's what that sign says:
I'd use the word "fail" if it hadn't been banished.
-B-
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