The Finals

Thanks for tuning in for the championship match of "Hottest Mess in Hollywood."

(7) Angelina Jolie vs. (6) Lindsay Lohan
A total underdog final this year, far surpassing the Barbra Streisand-Liz Taylor shocker back in the 70s. Wow, who will ever forget THAT one? If not for the age limits of the league, Taylor could have made another run this year along with Liza Minelli. Maybe I'll set up a "Classics" bracket next year. Anyway, let's get down to the nitty-gritty..
The jokes about Angelina Jolie being pregnant are wearing thin... and I'm starting to resort to the Pregnant Man jokes (like how he needs to shop at a Man-ternity store... or perhaps a Ma-Tran-ity store). But I can only kick Lohan so far before it gets redundant. And believe me, I can relate to a career where alcoholism becomes more attractive every day. Still, I fully expect the sky to turn blood-red the very second Jolie gives birth, so...
Your winner and champion: ANGELINA JOLIE! And here comes Jennifer Aniston to congratulate her!...why are her hands around Jolie's neck?...oh...
(Also, a follow-up to our number-one seed...Neil Patrick Harris says he hopes Britney Spears does NOT return to How I Met Your Mother. He doesn't have a problem with her, but he's not thrilled with the idea of stunt casting for ratings, citing examples like Cher on Will & Grace...also a sitcom where you can find a gay man. I agree. How I Met Your Mother is an enjoyable show that's written like the life I'm living, making it easier to relate. There's no need for the show to be Jumping the Shark at this point. And to nip this one before anyone thinks of it, no, I do NOT think they should write an episode called "Harold and Kumar Go To Barney's Sex Haven.")

Also, a programming note... my sister gets married in 8 days, and I will be in Chicago for much of next week. That means I will either a) not be posting regularly, or b) be posting drunk. One would be worth tuning in for, but I can't make any promises. Speaking of, today's Chicago forecast: snow. Today's Charlotte forecast: some clouds and 79 degrees.
-B-