Let's Go To Camp!

Welcome to the unofficial start of summer. It's Memorial Day weekend, and what better way to start summer than with a trip to camp. This item brought in by Thinking Hard intern Bridget: "Evil Dead: The MUSICAL" is coming to Charlotte. Now, judging by how many of you had NO idea who George Romero is and what his "Living Dead" movies are, this might take a little 'splaining. Back when I was a wee lad, a horror movie called "Evil Dead" was released to the unknowing public. It starred Bruce Campbell (if you don't already know who he is, chances are you don't know any of his other work) and was RIDICULOUSLY over-the-top in its plot and "special effects" (read: gallons of fake blood and re-animated corpse heads). Synopsis: five travelers in the woods find/read the Book of the Dead, victims are killed and then POSSESSED by demons, hilarity ensues. The film spawned "Evil Dead 2" and "Army of Darkness." In fact, you can see some of director Sam Raimi's trademark fast-paced, horror filmmaking in "Spider-Man 2" (yes, he directed those movies as well) in the scene where Doctor Octopus's arms come alive in the morgue and rip apart the bodies of the doctors on hand.

I digress. So, someone decided it would be fun to turn "Evil Dead" into a musical, presumably with gallons of fake blood to be tossed onto the audience as though they were watching a Gallagher "comedy routine" involving a sledge hammer and a watermelon. Bridget suggested I say a word about the term "camp." Wiki (don't judge me) considers "camp" a form of style that IS so entertaining because of it ridiculousness or irony. So, over-the-top is entertaining. The REAL question is...Is turning "Evil Dead" into a musical with singing zombies adding MORE camp to it...or just plain ridiculous. My initial thought is the latter, since it's very hard to add more camp to camp without killing its original intent...but I'll reserve judgment. Cue the tap-dancing demons for the intermission until the next story...

PATTI BLAGOJEVICH IS GOING ON "I'M A CELEBRITY...GET ME OUT OF HERE!" The wife of ousted Illinois governor Rod Blagojevich announced this week NBC offered her a slot on the "reality game show." So, apparently coming across like a profanity-spewing shrew whose husband was trying to make a quick buck makes you a "celebrity." Heck, it works for the "Real Housewives of..." Honestly, the jungle can keep Patti.

Speaking of REALLY bad hair, Donald Trump is getting ready to sue an author. I know what you're thinking: "With all of his mega-money and his twelve seasons of Apprentice, how does The Don find the time to even consider reading a book?" Answer: he has people read books for him, then tell him about them. He seemed to be really angry at the ghosts for pestering that poor Ebenezer Scrooge... Anyway, Trump's suing the author for labeling him a "millionaire" instead of a "billionaire" in the book. Trump claims it hurt his business. I have news for you, Mr. Trump...if anything's hurting your business, it's your presence. And your hair. But as long as your lackeys don't read the internet, there's no chance you'll be suing "Think*This part of the blog blocked on orders from lawyers representing Donald Trump, BILLIONAIRE*

Hey, if you're planning a trip to a national park this summer, pack your guns. Congress passed a bill this week making it harder for credit card companies to gouge your interest rates, among other things the credit card companies are wont to do. It's a great bill, but in the 11th hour, some a-hole in Congress tossed in an amendment that has NOTHING to do with credit cards: namely, it allows you to take a loaded gun into national parks and wildlife refuges (must've been a senator from Alaska). Now, I'm no naturist, but doesn't that seem like it defeats the purpose of a WILDLIFE REFUGE, where animals are supposed to be PROTECTED from guns, allowing guns??? Thinking Hard spoke to the two men accused of peeing into Old Faithful. They said, "Look, don't shoot! We're pulling our pants up now, nice and slow..."

This place gets my vote for Best Park Idea Ever: a sex theme park in China that featured explicit exhibits of genitalia and sexual culture is being demolished before it can even open. One wrecking ball is dismantling everything...wait, shouldn't there be TWO?

A sex theme park in China that featured explicit exhibits of genitalia and sexual culture is being demolished before it can even open. Talk about "the happiest place on earth."

A sex theme park in China that featured explicit exhibits of genitalia and sexual culture is being demolished before it can even open. Wait until you check out "Mr. Toad's Wild Ride."

A sex theme park in China that featured explicit exhibits of genitalia and sexual culture is being demolished before it can even open. I wonder if riders get shot out of the top of that park's version of "Space Mountain."

Finally, a woman in New Zealand was bidding on toys for her 3-year-old daughter and decided to lay down for a nap. While sleeping, her daughter bid TWELVE-THOUSAND DOLLARS on an earthmover, which is best described as a LARGE construction vehicle. Mommy woke up to an email from the seller saying she owed the money and that she was "going to love this earthmover." See also: emails I have sent to strange women.

CUE THE SINGING ZOMBIES!
-B-