It's Contagious

It's spreading like an epidemic! Rooms full of people are catching it! All it takes is one person to start the spread! It's...ignorance. Or, as I like to refer to it, the H1Nutjob Virus (see also the "Whine Flu"). It's sad, really, that what could be a spirited, intellectual debate about the future of America's health care system is being brought down by a shitload of ill-informed people at town hall meetings, the same people who somehow have learned to be the LOUDEST idiots of the bunch. Apparently, we're living in a situation of "Survival of the Loudest," or "I-Win-ism." Here's the deal: Obama's looking to try something new with the health care system. He wants to add a government program that doesn't just work with the elderly (Medicare) or the poor (Medicaid). Seems like a noble cause, right? Well, thanks to the hard-hitting "journalism" of Fox "News," Joe Public's Grandma seems to think that the government will soon be in the business of letting old people die. Really? Is Medicare that bad??? What these people who still can't figure out the internet SHOULD be concerned about is how the government plans to pay for this idea...NOT whether they will face a "death panel" (I STILL don't know what that is!). So, back to my point...the opportunities for these people to learn at the town hall meetings are overshadowed by the fact that they won't SHUT THE FUCK UP and listen for a second before they start shouting angrily at every politician they see. Really, people? Lord, no WONDER Bush got re-elected. For more on this story, here's Jon Stewart:

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Healther Skelter
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And how about a little love for Fucks "News"...

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Y'know, I saw a book on the shelf this week called "Glenn Beck's Common Sense" and I thought to myself, "Self...(because I like to formally address myself)...look, I found Glenn Beck's Common Sense! Someone should REALLY return it to him." Now, here's my gift to you. When you have a moment, I implore you to read the House version of the health care reform bill, just so YOU can see what's in it...and NOT show up to town hall meetings like a screaming idiot.

I wonder if Heidi Montag/Pratt/Who? will have her new "augmentation" covered under HER health plan. She tells Playboy Magazine that she wants to get even MORE work done on her chest for her husband, Spencer Pratt. Look at that..at 22, Heidi's ALREADY making bad decisions for her marriage. I figured it would take at LEAST until she hit 25. Well, Heidi, it's good to see that Spencer doesn't love you for who you are. Also, how are you going to pay for this? It's not like you do ANYTHING that brings in income. Maybe a second MTV "reality" show, also called "The Hills"?

Here's something you don't see everyday...Lady Gaga, y'know, the chick that sings "Poker Face" and "Just Dance," says she's a hermaphrodite. Whoa, that's dangerous! I mean, if her blood is too thin to clot, then if she's ever hurt...wait, what?...oh, HEMOPHILIAC, huh?...my bad. Okay, well, I'm not one to judge someone based on their eating habits, but if she only wants to eat plants, then she...I'm sorry?...oh, HERBIVORE, huh?...my bad...well, then what does Herma-...oh. *gulp*

*ahem*

So, Lady Gaga said this week she's a hermaphrodite. Y'know, I still think she has a cute face. So what if she has a penis too? I'd be more than happy to give her a reacharound. How would I refer to her then? "Chude?" "Dick" seems a little mean... She also goes on to say that she has a tiny penis. Look, Gaga, I know you haven't been a "chude" for very long, but let me give you a little advice on being a man: don't EVER admit to having a tiny penis. Any woman that hits on you will never let you "Poke 'er Face."

-B-