Sunday, August 9, 2009

Wow, what's wrong with HIS blog??

Okay, so let me start off with one of the major news events of the week...a guy walked into a fitness center in Pennsylvania earlier this week with a duffel bag, pulled out a gun, turned out the lights and fired 52 shots into a workout class. He killed three people, injured several others (including a pregnant woman) and finally turned the gun on himself. The media later found his blog, which had a bunch of written and video posts about himself...you can find it easily if you search the keywords "whiny," "I can't get any," and "Why am I so weird-looking?" Yes, Captain A-hole spends the bulk of his blog in a self-pity-fuck, trying to figure out why no women want to go out with him, especially since he's apparently better-looking than the next guy (if the next guy is the Elephant Man). Here's one of the guy's problems...he's 40-something and has a copy of "How to Date Younger Women" (yes, there IS such a book) on his coffee table. Really? I'm all for self-help books on dating, but how about we START in your own age bracket, THEN move on to the kiddie pool? Maybe he should have also picked up the book "Why You Shouldn't Take Others With You When You Commit Suicide." Seriously. I'm aware there are only a couple of handfuls of people who read this blog (thank you all, by the way), but I'd like to think you read this because I make some poignant thoughts and bring a smile or two along the way. We all have shit going on in our lives, but if you actually WANT to date someone, you have to stop looking for the "perfect mate"...who's under 30. In his final act, this piece of shit decided he would finally make people care about him. Oh, I care, all right...I care enough to make sure I DON'T become some worthless pile of crap with no respect for human life.

*ahem* Sorry about that...had to get that off my chest. Now then, congratulations to the newest Supreme Court Justice, Sonia Sotomayor! First hispanic woman to serve on the high court. That's HUGE! It's funny...the Daily Show played a clip of Sen. John McCain speaking during the senate debates over Sotomayor's nomination. He said it takes more than a great life story and overcoming strife (or something like that) to serve in public office. I'm sorry, but MCCAIN'S PRESIDENTIAL PLATFORM was a great life story and overcoming strife! (technically, he had to overcome more strife after he picked Sarah Palin as his running mate) Anyway, good luck to Justice Sotomayor. I can already see South Carolina Governor Mark Sanford giving her the "fuck me" eyes. Speaking of South Carolina, a big thank-you to the state that always threatens to (and might as well) secede...

The Daily Show With Jon StewartMon - Thurs 11p / 10c
Thank You, South Carolina!
www.thedailyshow.com
Daily Show
Full Episodes
Political HumorSpinal Tap Performance


And as long as we're on the subject of weird sexual preferences, Ryan O'Neal tried to pick up on some hot blonde at Farrah Fawcett's funeral. If you think THAT'S classy, wait until you find out it was HIS OWN DAUGHTER, Tatum O'Neal, that he tried to pick up! He claims he didn't recognize her. Tatum was later quoted as saying "That's our relationship in a nutshell." Hm...I imagine Thanksgiving dinner will be interesting this year in the O'Neal household: "I'm just going to help out in the kitchen, probably try to stuff the Tatum...er, TURKEY! I MEANT TURKEY!...unless she's into that..."

-B-

1 comment:

James said...

you've come through once again, South Carolina: The Leader in the Race for Crazy.