Love Is In The Air (And The Paternity Test)

John Edwards...you ARE the father! (By the way, the National Enquirer plans to enter its scoop of the Edwards affair/baby/clusterfuck in the running for a PULITZER PRIZE. Really? If the Enquirer wins a Pulitzer, I'm moving to Haiti.)

In other news that's not really news because practically EVERYONE knew it, Conan O'Brien's last Tonight Show was Friday night. What WAS surprising was his heartfelt goodbye...and his comments about his career at NBC:



("I don't want to do it in a 7-Eleven parking lot"...one of the last things said to John Edwards before conceiving Quinn Hunter) Also, as part of the $45M agreement, Conan can't talk shit about NBC. Here's hoping Conan lands on his feet somewhere soon! I wonder if Jay Leno's ratings suck on Tonight Show...will NBC put in the detectives of New York's Special Victims Unit as the new hosts in 7 months? I can imagine the new show's theme song will be "DUN-DUN!" Actually, the asian news station that so brilliantly re-enacted the Tiger Woods crash found a way to dumb-down the late-night battle...for comic book fans:



Big political news this week...a republican won the Massachusetts senate seat, pretty much ensuring the Obama health care reform bill won't pass. That's right...the democrats managed to do nothing with their supermajority. Jon Stewart covered the election before the results were in and had a special message for the democrats:

The Daily Show With Jon Stewart	Mon - Thurs 11p / 10c
Mass Backwards
www.thedailyshow.com
Daily Show Full Episodes Political Humor Health Care Crisis

I wonder if I bought a truck, I'D be elected to Congress... Judging by his acceptance speech, I think I know what Brown's first act in office will be:



That's right, nothing screams "I'm a great family man" like pimping out your daughters during your election victory speech.

Y'know, while we're on the subject of politics, Meghan McCain is STILL growing on me. She and her mom, Cindy, posed for pictures SUPPORTING gay marriage. I will repeat this...the wife and daughter of JOHN MCCAIN are SUPPORTING gay marriage. Mr. McCain, however, still believes only a man and woman are allowed to be miserable for the rest of their lives.

Speaking of love, Valentine's Day is right around the corner, and it's our effort here at Thinking Hard to provide you with great shopping ideas for that hard-to-shop-for mate. I saw this great device...have you ever been out walking the dog and your cell phone dies? Of course! No one likes to be away from their Twitter accounts for more than five minutes at a time (the world might end...how would you know, aside from the incessant howling from your dog as the two of you burn to a crisp?). How about a solar power vest for your dog that charges your phone?:



(I thought I'd seen it all with the sex robot...) And for those of you fellas out there with ladies who embrace their inner geeks with a video game here or there, you'll give your lady the romantic message of what YOU want to do on Valentine's Day with THIS great fashion statement:



The message? "I want to invade your pants." Which is the last thing John Edwards said to Rielle Hunter before pulling into that 7-Eleven. I WANT A PULITZER!

-B-