Hey, anybody watching the Winter Olympics? Yeah, me neither. I'm joking. I've been watching all the sporting events and it seems like there are a LOT of injuries in this year's games. No sport is safe. You should see the guy who took a curling stone in the crotch the other day. And yet, curling is STILL more sane than the idiots who do the "skeleton," which is basic the luge, but headfirst. Or, as I like to refer to it, the equivalent of saying "Sure, Ms. Suleman, I think you SHOULD go ahead and have another baby if you feel like it." Seriously, I can imagine the informational meeting for people unfamiliar with the Skeleton:
Coach: It's as exciting as the luge...
Crowd: (Cheers)
Coach: but you go down HEADFIRST! Isn't that a great event???
Player: Um, coach, I'm sorry to interrupt you, but if I may make a quick point...fuck you.
Y'know, I went into a japanese steakhouse the other day and ordered up my hibachi meal, and as the chef juggled eggs into his unnecessarily large chef's hat and made really stupid jokes with punchlines like "Egg Drop Soup!" (is he TRYING to be funny? Thanks, Melissa), it occured to me there wasn't any excitement in the hibachi enterprise any more. Sure, when I first went to a japanese steakhouse, I REALLY thought I was going to get gouged in any number of extremities if the chef's hands slipped. But I was 4. Now I'm...older. There's no excitement any more...at least until now:
Yes! FINALLY! The robots that will soon take over the world are FINALLY being armed! Mind you, it STARTS with a spatula, but they're lulling us into a false sense of security...
Hey, think THAT'S nuts? How about getting jewels pasted around your vagina? Have your attention? Intern Kelsay trekked her way through blizzard-like conditions and several feet of snow to get this little gem into the Thinking Hard offices this week (for her effort, we gave her a cookie). Apparently, actress Jennifer Love Hewitt has popularized the trend called "Vajazzling," a play on the "popular" as-seen-on-TV product, the Bedazzler. You've probably seen them in the home of women who believe themselves to be crafty, and thinking spelling "Sex Machine" in jewels on a denim jacket will get her a spot at this year's arts and crafts show. ("Sure, I'd LOVE to pay $120 for that jacket!") Anyway, a blogger went to get the deed done AND TOOK A CAMERA CREW (so, OBVIOUSLY, I'm starting to pay attention...). But while I love a good near-vaginal picture as much as the next guy, this REALLY frightens me. I'm not posting pictures here at Thinking Hard because we have SOME sense of taste...and NO lawyers to defend us in court. So you'll find the blog here. Some might consider a couple of these pictures NSFW...but I can't make much out past the waistline, so I think you're okay. The big question is...would YOU be willing to drop fifty bucks for a "disco ball around your crotch"?
Speaking of having random money around to blow, I'd like to take a serious moment. What would you do with an extra ten bucks a day? Extra coffee for the office? Lady Gaga CD? This week, Thinking Hard welcomes a new Friend of the Show: the Year of Giving blog. It's done by a guy in Washington, DC, for all of 2010. He's taking ten bucks each day and giving it to some random person, then talking to them about who they are and what they plan to do with the money. As you can imagine, some of the recipients are homeless...and a little...um...off. Others are people who have jobs and homes and they're just people this guy finds around the city. This guy seems to come off as a little weird himself (this weekend, there's an entry about two women at a coffee shop who accept the money, say they'll give it as a tip, then after a few minutes, they step outside to take a phone call...and don't return. AND they leave him to pay the tab. Sure, they could be total bitches...but he might also have come off like a stalker), but his interest is helping people is great. He's even set up a tab on the blog for others to help people with specific needs. I think it's nice...and I don't think ANYTHING's nice. A couple of entries will make you thankful for what you have.
Okay, back to the comedy. This week, President Obama hosted a televised summit with democrats and republicans to figure out what to do about this whole "change-y, health care-y thing in Washington" (hate you, Palin). This starts off a little slow, but really pays off in the second half:
| The Daily Show With Jon Stewart | Mon - Thurs 11p / 10c | |||
| Bipartisan Health Care Reform Summit 2010 | ||||
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(it's funny.. a little later, Obama CALLED OUT Rep. Cantor for his obvious display of the many pages of the health care plan for the cameras. Ree-diculous.) And John McCain is still a little off. He came ready for a fight at the summit...watch how Obama responded:
| The Daily Show With Jon Stewart | Mon - Thurs 11p / 10c | |||
| Moment of Zen - John McCain's Legitimate Point | ||||
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Let's hear it for bipartisanship. Democrats aren't pushing through the legislation only THEY want...and Republicans are LETTING them be bipartisan. Doesn't mean they have to go along with it too.
Hey, I'm late for my "Scro-tazzling" appointment, but before I go, March is just hours away...which makes March Madness just DAYS away. If you're a loyal follower of TH, you know what that means. If you're not, you're in for a treat. It's time for the Third Annual Thinking Hard Hottest Mess Tournament (seriously, go back to last March and see how the bracketing works). This year, we have a SPECIAL change to the tournament...a FAN FAVORITE bracket! Thinking Hard will use four "hot messes" submitted by YOU in the comment section to compete in the tournament. Keep in mind, some of the brackets are already partially filled, so if you submit someone who's already in the tournament, they will go to their respective brackets and NOT the Fan Favorite bracket. But, hey, go nuts! The editors of Thinking Hard will choose the four best options and slam them into the line-up. Also, Thinking Hard would like to extend a SPECIAL invitation to Meghan McCain, to join the editors in the skybox during the tournament. It'll be fun! Also, a special invitation to Nadya Suleman. Nadya, we not only want you IN the tournament, but we have something SPECIAL planned for you...
-B-
1 comment:
Cookie. What cookie? Where's my cookie, dammit!
Mmmm...Hottest Mess tourney...the bane of my existence. Who to nominate, who to nominate...
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