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Sorry, readers, I'm a little late this morning. It took me an extra few minutes to get past security here at the Thinking Hard building. Management installed a...bouncer...at the door because we kept getting mobs of people outside the offices begging for the location of the northeast part of the sky. Won't. Ever. Die.
Hey, big news out of Illinois this week...jurors found former governor Rod Blagojevich GUILTY in his corruption trial! Finally, the long trial is over and the politicians of America now know corruption will NOT be tolerated...well, sort of:
| The Daily Show With Jon Stewart | Mon - Thurs 11p / 10c | |||
| Law & Order - Time Wasters Unit | ||||
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Ah, it's always nice to see the American judicial system become just as effective as the executive and legislative branches. Seriously, Rod? When ELEVEN jurors think you're guilty and ONE juror holds out for days (a little too much Henry Fonda in that one...you really should see "Twelve Angry Men." Great movie.) until there's a mistrial, that does NOT mean you "won." That means more people think you're guilty than the people who think President Obama is muslim. That means there are more people who think Sarah Palin is an intelligent woman that there are who think you're innocent. Now then, adjust your hair and get ready for round two...and maybe the attorneys can get it RIGHT this time.
Oh, while I have the muslim thing on the brain, let's follow up to last week's blog about the proposed mosque in New York City:
| The Daily Show With Jon Stewart | Mon - Thurs 11p / 10c | |||
| Extremist Makeover - Homeland Edition | ||||
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The only thing that could be worse is if Fox News started making commentary on FICTIONAL characters who they think are wrong. Wait, Bill O'Reilly has that covered. This week, he decried Jennifer Aniston's new movie "The Switch" as being detrimental to society. See, the plot of the movie is Aniston is so anxious to have a baby before her biological clock stops ticking that she wants artificial insemination. Hilarity ensues. So, O'Reilly's says it's "destructive to our society" because Aniston's portraying a single mom who can do it all on her own. It's a fair argument...for a 12-year-old. Dude, really? You're ripping on a MOVIE PLOT? He's probably trying to sound as smart as that guy a few years back who ripped on a TV SHOW character who raised a baby by herself. That character was Murphy Brown and the guy who ripped on her was Vice President Dan Quayle. Yeah, he was BRILLIANT...fucker couldn't even spell.
While we're on the subject of entertainment, this week, it was announced that China will get its own version of the hit British-slash-American-slash-French-slash-Canadian-slash-German-slash-Chilean-slash-Israeli (no joke, it airs in all those countries) comedy "The Office." Chinese leaders have already announced that the characters will have no access to the internet unless it's for government-run websites. It will also be on 24 hours a day, 7 days a week, without health benefits and each episode will end with one employee committing suicide. What...too soon? Seriously, what will the characters do...speak politely to the boss but give him an angry glare as he walks away? Actually, that sounds better than a lot of the crap on CBS right now...I'll take Chinese "Office" over season 32 of "Big Brother."
So, Tila Tequila is upset. You know...Tila Tequila? The short asian chick who's famous for...well, nothing except for two reality shows where she went looking for love in the form of either a warm, tattooed, disease-ridden man or woman. Anyway, so she showed up to an Insane Clown Posse festival (those guys are still around???) in Illinois and got hit with rocks and feces! Said Tequila: "Hey, that gives me a great idea for a third season of my reality show!" Shouldn't she be used to being hit with feces by now?
And as long as we're on the subject of women who are famous for no discernible reason, Heidi Montag's plastic surgeon was killed in a car crash this week. It's being rumored that Dr. Frankenstein ("It's ALIVE!!!!") crashed in California shortly after TWEETING WHILE DRIVING. Idiot. On the plus side, the doctor had in his will that he wanted his body donated to Heidi. And in unrelated news, Heidi Montag says she has 30 more plastic surgery procedures set between now and the end of the year. So look forward to seeing her sporting a new liver and kidneys. (Really? All those surgical procedures, but she STILL has to go see the Wizard if she wants a brain???)
Y'know, when I think of people who DESPERATELY need a brain, I think of...no, not Sarah Palin (THIS morning)...I think of South Carolina candidate for the U.S. Senate, Alvin "Hey, do you like football?" Greene. This week, Greene was indicted on a felony charge of showing pornographic images to a college student in a university library. But, hey, politicians face trumped-up charges all the time and usually have some smooth way of deflecting the accusations...I'm sure Alvin Greene is no different:
Huh. Well, maybe he needs some spiritual guidance to get him through these tough times. I hear that from a lot of scandal-plagued politicians. Here, Mr. Greene, save some money and just watch some of those daily televangelists on local access TV. Like this guy, Arnold Murray from "Shepherd's Chapel." I see him ALL the time, so he MUST be credible:
See what I mean? You disagree with someone, you shoot them. "Um, Reverend Murray? There's a gentleman here to talk to you about running for governor of either Tennessee or Alaska." At least he'd have some job security for a while, unlike THIS BBC weatherman:
Hey, that's not so bad...I know of an anchor who show's he's an ass every time he's on camera. NOOOOOOOOOOOOO! GOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
-B-
1 comment:
hehe... there are so many things I could say about this... but instead, I'll just say...
NOOOoooooo!
GOOOoooooo!
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