Dancing With The Meh

BIG NEWS EVERYONE! The new cast of "Dancing with the Stars" will be announced Monday night during the critically-acclaimed (no, not really) "Bachelor Pad" on ABC! But it's already apparent that some of the cast of DWTS have mistaken the show for something else. Kim Kardashian and Kirstie Alley apparently thought they were signing up for "Dance Your Ass Off." David Hasselhoff and "The Situation" obviously thought they were committed to the show "Dancing in some Bars." And Bristol Palin, the pride of Wasilla, Alaska, was told there'd be free babysitting. Ah, remember the time when she said Levi Johnston was a media whore...then she went and did a crapload of television and magazine interviews? Ah, the good old days...just a few weeks ago.

Hey, speaking of media whores, former Illinois governor Rod Blagojevich continues his book-signing...er, "I told you I was innocent" media tour. Seriously, that guy needs to just stop. Again, 11-to-1 AGAINST your innocence is NOT a victory. I have, however, been anxiously looking forward to one stop on his media tour:

The Daily Show With Jon Stewart	Mon - Thurs 11p / 10c
Exclusive - Rod Blagojevich Extended Interview Pt. 1
www.thedailyshow.com
Daily Show Full Episodes Political Humor Tea Party

The Daily Show With Jon Stewart	Mon - Thurs 11p / 10c
Exclusive - Rod Blagojevich Extended Interview Pt. 2
www.thedailyshow.com
Daily Show Full Episodes Political Humor Tea Party

Someday, I, too, will be that oblivious.

While I'm talking about oblivious people, let me briefly hit up Heidi Montag. This week, she said she regrets getting her G-cup (are you fucking kidding me???) breast implants. She says they're crushing her and caused the breakup of her marriage to "I still can't figure out what he DOES" Spencer Pratt. Well, Heidi, when you get them taken out, you'll have a couple of brand new, gigantic (and disgusting) paperweights. Also, if you want to blame a couple of boobs for the end of your marriage, their names aren't "left" and "left" (she's not the brightest crayon in the box)...their names are "Heidi" and "Spencer." Heidi says no one wants to take care of someone who looks like they've been in a horrible accident. On a side note, I'd like to thank the person who finally gave Heidi a mirror.

Another dumb blonde moment...Paris Hilton got arrested for cocaine possession this weekend. No, Hilton's not the dumb blonde this time...ABC News is. I was watching Good Morning America Saturday morning and the top of the mini-newscast in the first five minutes of the show started with "Breaking News...Paris Hilton was arrested." What. The. Fuck. At what point exactly did ABC become TMZ? (aside from earlier this week when they did a "brave interview" with "I still can't figure out what she DOES" Fantasia...then gave her time to perform two songs and hock her new album...stupid) Seriously, that's like a local news anchor jumping off his scripts in the middle of ACTUAL news to announce that Paris Hilton or Lindsay Lohan had been arrested. But come on...you'd have to get up pretty early on a weekday morning in Charlotte, North Carolina, to see something like THAT. It's like a new party game, "TV News Blurt!"

Actually, I feel a little bad for Paris. She says she woke up this week to someone trying to break into her home with "2 big knifes." Yes, knifes. And there goes any sympathy I had for her. You want sympathy in the future? Use spell-check.

If you haven't seen THIS poor blonde woman on the inter-webs this week, you're out of the loop. So allow me to show you what happens when german sports reporters go out to the sidelines for a little soccer pre-game action:



Call it an occupational hazard. On the plus side, it's probably not the first time a big white ball has hit her in the back of the head...

Hey, Glenn Beck hosted his big "I'm as black as Martin Luther King" shindig this weekend...and that's all I'm going to say about it. But I WILL allow Jon Stewart some airtime to look at a rather contradictory stance Fox News is taking about the proposed islamic center in New York City:

The Daily Show With Jon Stewart	Mon - Thurs 11p / 10c
The Parent Company Trap
www.thedailyshow.com
Daily Show Full Episodes Political Humor Tea Party

And a quick entertainment note...after the "success" of the movie "Piranha 3D," the studios are ALREADY talking about a sequel. Seriously??? The movies been out for a hot minute! Now I have to decide if Hollywood is incredibly evil...or incredibly stupid. I haven't had this much difficulty with that decision since I considered the case of Sarah Palin.

(PS: Flying home for the weekend, the blog might be late. Cheers!)
-B-