How A News Anchor Swore His Way Into 15 Minutes Of Fame

So, by now, I'm sure you've ALL seen this clip...offering the only reason TV viewers in Bismarck, North Dakota, have EVER been lucky to live in Bismarck, North Dakota. Welcome to your first day of work, and remember, your microphone is ON... Best. Public Relations Move. Ever. Seriously, this guy went from getting shit-canned for saying "Fucking Shit" on air to going on NATIONAL TALK SHOWS! And what ELSE would he be doing, y'know, being unemployed and all. Actually, as a producer who's used to working with anchors who sometimes have verbal diarrhea, the "Fucking Shit" part of the show was only the SECOND-worst part of that clip. The worst part was trying to watch those two bumble their way through casual conversation. I'm not entirely sure the woman is speaking any form of English or Engrish...and AJ has a big problem with complete thoughts: "I graduated from West Virginia University and I'm used to, um, y'know, from being from the east coast..." I will throw this guy a bone. He apparently lost his teleprompter or earpiece audio or some shit like that. But otherwise? He's terrible. Y'know, his issue verbalizing complete, well-thought out sentences and thoughts reminds me of ANOTHER guy who's been making headlines recently. Trust me, you'll want to stick around for the end of this clip: I'm gonna push Lochte to be nominated for MENSA. Who's with me?

Hey, want to get on David Alan Grier's good side when doing a live in-studio interview with him? Make sure you spell his name right. While the video has been mysteriously deleted from the interwebs, here's a still shot of the misspelling in question. It's subtle...but it's his last name: That's Fox Baltimore. After noting on a monitor that his name was misspelled, he went on to offer some David Alan GRIEF, saying the sequester hit the station hard and it was the raggediest studio he'd ever been in. Now, it's all in the name of comedy, but you have to think that seeing his name misspelled might have pushed him a little bit over the edge. Maybe he should try being a guest on this new late-night talk show: Now, let's wrap up on this beautiful moment...a girl sent this letter to her sorority sisters:

Michael Shannon Reads the Insane Delta Gamma Sorority Letter from Michael Shannon

I knew a few Sigma Nu guys. They even wanted me to join their fraternity. I guess this makes me glad I didn't...so I didn't have to deal with crazy chicks. Yay college.

Fucking shit cunt punt.

-B-