Same-Sex Marriage & Knock-Knock Jokes

We'll get to all that in a second, but first, this week's top story out of Spokane, Washington: Lessons to be learned here: ANY time a reporter is holding/wearing a microphone, they should not drop the f-bomb. Even if they think a microphone MIGHT be present. Also, to the editor who cut the piece, would it have killed you to actually spend an extra minute and a half WATCHING what you just edited to avoid this problem??? Fuck me.

Also, let's get a look at a shot from a live report from Florida station WCTV. Pay extra close attention to the ad showing behind the reporter:

For those of you playing along at home, the TV station advertised behind this reporter is NOT the TV station that this reporter works for. Let's hear it for unfortunate timing.

Hey, I don't know if anyone heard, but apparently same-sex marriage is now okay. Which is entirely cool with me. Same-sex couples should be allowed to be just as miserable as heterosexual couples who realize they shouldn't have gotten married. What struck me about this week's arguments about the ruling is that republican lawmakers...who fought so hard against same-sex marriage...now say the Supreme Court is in the wrong because it shouldn't be playing God. Yes. Only the republicans should be playing God. It says so in the Bible. Just ask them. The entire book basically says republicans know better than anyone else and changing with modern times is a terrible idea. Also, they seem really upset about the Supreme Court's actions, saying the justices aren't elected bodies and shouldn't overturn what the American public has voted on. I don't know if they missed civics class, but I always learned that the judicial branch of the government...which, y'know, includes the Supreme Court...was to set up a system of checks and balances so lawmakers don't get way out of line with their laws. But, hey, what do I know? I'm not a government major. Let's hear more on the topic:

Hey, knock knock? Who's there? I'm a terrible attorney. I'm a terrible attorney who? I'm a terrible attorney who's going to get the jury to hate me within the first 2 minutes of the defense's opening statements in its effort to save George Zimmerman from prison or death:


Man, even I could tear up that courtroom. I'd be like Eddie Murphy! "Trayvon Martin walks like THIS...but George Zimmerman walks like THIS...with a gun!"

Hey, has anyone played the next great computer game, Where in the World is Edward Snowden? It plays a little like Where in the World is Carmen Sandiego, except NO ONE EVER FINDS EDWARD SNOWDEN! Like reporters getting on a flight that they hear he's going to be riding on...and they don't WAIT to MAKE SURE HE BOARDS BEFORE THEY GET ON A PLANE TO CUBA! I can't even imagine the phone call to their boss: "Yes, I need a pick-up in Havana...do I have the interview with Snowden?...when you say 'with Snowden,' do you mean WITH Snowden?...do you mean I'm fired AFTER I get back to the U.S.?..."


Can you hear me shaking my head right now? Fuck me. I can't fucking find Edward Snowden today.

-B-